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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel utterly sorry for myself and be sulking on the loo

23 replies

pilohshitt · 06/05/2012 14:59

It was my first Mother's day and I was forgotten. Dp even reminded me yesterday in the supermarket. This morning I had forgotten all about mother's day, but at lunch time I switched on tv and was lambasted with mummy shmaltz. I rang my mum to wish her happy mother's day, and then it hit me that I'd been forgotten. Dp, or just p, had been around me all day and said or done nothing particularly nice or kind for me. He overheard me on the phone to my mum and said he was planning on making me a card, but had then completely forgotten. I feel very sorry for myself, in my head I'd envisioned breakfast in bed and a day at the park looking like a family from La Redoute catalogue. I got nothing. Dp said he can't afford anything, but I would have really appreciated a small gesture. On father's day (which isn't even a real day!) I made him a card and a cake. AIBU to be really hurt?

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 06/05/2012 15:00

Fathers day isn't even a real day?? Who says? Hmm

BeerTricksPott3r · 06/05/2012 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpiffingWeatherForDucks · 06/05/2012 15:02

So you forgot it was mothers day, when you realised you (finally) rang your own mum but you are annoyed your dp forgot... Hmm

Olympia2012 · 06/05/2012 15:03

Assume it's australia

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2012 15:04

You're not his Mother though are you? Confused

He was probably reminding you so you remember to ring your own Mum.

BeerTricksPott3r · 06/05/2012 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Calamityboo · 06/05/2012 15:06

That's what I was thinking spiffing, sounds like you also forgot to do anything for you mum and now you are upset that other people around you also forgot Hmm

McKayz · 06/05/2012 15:07

Well if you forgot you can hardly moan about your DP.

Plus if you say Fathers day isn't a real day then surely your DP can argue mothers day isn't real?

BackforGood · 06/05/2012 15:09

So you are saying you forgot it was Mother's day, and hadn't done anything for your Mum, but you are cross with your partner for not having done anything for you ? Confused
Can you not see that's a slightly mixed message ?

Original poster
pilohshitt · 06/05/2012 15:10

Yes, where I live, it's today. Olympia, Father's day was created in the last 100 years to complement Mothers' day, which is quite a bit older. Regardless, I made a point of doing something nice for dp because I want to honour him for doing a good job. I'm hurt at the way he was so flippant when he realized he'd forgotten.

OP posts:
FrillyMilly · 06/05/2012 15:11

YANBU to feel upset. Tell your DP how you feel. Some people don't think days like this are a big deal.

However if fathers day isn't a real day then neither is mothers day.

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2012 15:13

How old are your children OP?

Original poster
pilohshitt · 06/05/2012 15:16

But I did remember (albeit a few hours late), got her prezzie and rang her to wish her Happy MD. Like I said, I wasn't expecting jewellery or anything expensive, but a croissant, a kiss and a "keep up the good job" would have been nice.

OP posts:
DPrince · 06/05/2012 15:17

You forgot, he forgot. Is your mum upset. How long a day has been around is irrelevant, if fathers day is not real neither is mothers day. Tell do you want a gesture and make sure you do the same for your mum.

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2012 15:19

Doesn't he do that sort of thing all year round?

If he doesn't, then picking a commercial day would be totally fake anyway surely?

Adults have (apart from all year round)

Valentine's Day
Birthdays
Christmas

But Mother's day is a day for Children to show their Mothers how much they appreciate them...not for the partner to step in and do it on their behalf.

DPrince · 06/05/2012 15:19

Maybe he will do something later. Tbh you forgot, its a but hypocritical to say I remembered later so that's ok.

mangomadness · 06/05/2012 17:13

I get cards from the dogs on mothers day...... and one from bump this year, informing me that daddy is cooler than me, and that bump doesn't like dogs.... made me laugh but I wouldn't be bothered if he didn't do anything about it

DizzyKipper · 06/05/2012 17:30

Agree with others, it was only by chance you were able to remember Mother's Day yourself. If you hadn't been lambasted the way you were you might not have remembered at all, so it does seem a bit hypocritical getting this upset about it - how much did it really mean to you if you were forgetting about it in the first place?

This is the sort of reason why I have such little respect for mothers day, fathers day etc. If you love some one you should be doing things all year round, it shouldn't be down to one scheduled day in which to show your appreciation and love for that person (and you have my sympathy if this is actually the case with you and your DP). It's also in danger of running amok, last mother's day we actually had MIL make a comment about how she was disappointed she hadn't received a card from our DC1 (who still has another 7 weeks or so before they're born!).

DizzyKipper · 06/05/2012 17:35

Eep, after a little looking I've also found that there is in fact a Grandparents Day! Introduced by Age Concern. Working with the elderly myself I can understand their motive behind this but am still a bit Hmm about it, twas bad enough MIL having the expectation of receiving something from an unborn GC on Mothers Day, let alone if she finds out about an actual day for grandparents!

btw me and DH have already decided we won't be celebrating Mothers or Fathers Day, we don't believe in this sort of thing.

Pandemoniaa · 06/05/2012 17:39

But Mother's day is a day for Children to show their Mothers how much they appreciate them...not for the partner to step in and do it on their behalf.

Seconded. Also, I always think it is far better (if you must get caught up in the commercialised nonsense that is so many of these so-called special days) to make your expectations clear. To forget your own mother and then go and sulk in the lav because your dp has done similarly comes across as self-pitying and childish.

iphoned · 06/05/2012 17:43

Pah! Don't feel sorry for yourself! My DH's never done anything for me on mother's day after 4 years of me being a mother! When I went back to work and DD was in full time nursery at the age of 1 I got my first mothers day card, and I've had one from her every year thanks to nursery. The day is more special if your children do something for you imo. Go out and buy yourself something nice :D

TapirBackRider · 06/05/2012 18:08

YANBU - you are the mother of your partners children, and as such it's nice to be appreciated. I totally understand that it's the thought that counts. Simply because some people go too far with it, or believe that it's over commercialised, doesn't mean that you shouldn't at least have a cup of tea made for you.

Don't forget though, that your dp can't read your mind, and that we all need a hint (or twenty) from time to time to remember stuff like this. Smile

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