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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my daughter out of school for 2 days before half term?

39 replies

NunWithADirtyHabbit · 06/05/2012 09:37

My brother and his children are coming over from USA on the Wednesday before half term. They are only here for 2 weeks and we have not seen them for 2 years (we are all very close).

AIBU to keep my daughter (8) off school for the two days before the half term starts so that we can spend as much time together as possible (they are staying with us from the Wed till the end of half term and then with my parents for the remaining 5 days) I intend to send my daughter back to school on the first day after half term.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 06/05/2012 09:38

Yabu..... Unless we can all do it??

WhataMistakeaToMakea · 06/05/2012 09:38

I'd do it, but I'd tell the school why so DD doesn't have to get caught up in any stories.

imnotmymum · 06/05/2012 09:39

OMG did you see other thread on school take out please don hard hat immediately! YANBU IMO be lovely to spend time together.

startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:39

Surely having over a week with them is plenty of time?

gettingeasier · 06/05/2012 09:39

This has been done this week already and I doubt views will be much different in your case

I hope , unlike that OP, you accept you are going to get a very divided response Smile

catgirl1976 · 06/05/2012 09:40

YANBU - She's your DD. I would let the school know you will be taking her out but be prepared to pay the fine.

TBH though in this case, I think given she will get a fair few days with them anyway and the school day is not exactly long there isn't any real need to do this, but it's up to you

laughlovelife · 06/05/2012 09:41

Family is important and school and anyone should realise this, Id say 2 days out of X days, isn't going to harm your dd education, the time she will spend with her extended family is also paramount to her education.

dexter73 · 06/05/2012 09:41

your child will become a crack addict if you keep her off school for 2 days OR my kid had days off school and he/she is now prime minister/Alan Sugar...

DilysPrice · 06/05/2012 09:42

YABU, she'll be with them for 9 days + 3 after schools by my calculations, I don't really see why it's necessary for her to skip school for an extra 2 days. If you weren't going to have half term together my answer would be different.

Olympia2012 · 06/05/2012 09:44

Won't they want a bit of 'time' to adjust?

Original poster
NunWithADirtyHabbit · 06/05/2012 09:45

Sorry I have not seen the other thread - i will go have a read. I have not mentioned this to my daughter yet as i am still mulling it over. If I did keep her off I would let the school know the reasons why and would pay any fine - I do not believe in getting my daughter caught up in any lies.

Thank you for your thoughts

OP posts:
Sarcalogos · 06/05/2012 09:45

As they have half term together and will see them before/after school on those two days I see no reason why you would keep them off. In fact having them in school would give you much needed ( I'd imagine) catch up time with your brother and nieces/nephews.

GateGipsy · 06/05/2012 09:46

YANBU but neither is the school if it takes a hard line it might be because there's a huge problem with this sort of thing for them (I know there is at our school). They'll have pressure on them to show they're tackling the problem. So just be prepared to take it on the chin, and pay any fines if they do that (I'd just factor the cost into the holiday). If there's any chance your school might authorise it (perhaps as a family reunion - there is scope for that) then do apply.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 06/05/2012 09:47

You will get mullered on here for suggesting that relatives are more important than schcool.....but I dont think YABU...I think that the last days of term are often a lot of messing around anyway...I am taking my DD out on the last day for a trip to London...she'll miss the usual play day....and also the school disco...but she's 7 and hates dancing...so no loss. London is far more exciting to her.

Methe · 06/05/2012 09:47

I'm taking both of mine out 3 days before the end of the summer term because our holiday is £600 cheaper if we do.

If the school don't like it tough!

Have a lovely holiday :)

Olympia2012 · 06/05/2012 09:47

They will be jet lagged! Let them have some time to adjust.... Would they really want an over excited 8 year old hopping around all day long?

QOD · 06/05/2012 09:48

Are the children similar age? At my dd primary, we had similar one year with a boy in her class. I think he did have the 2nd to last day off due to airporting etc, but the cousin went too on the last day. The head was great about it, I can't quite recall if mum had to stay too??
But the girl joined in with last day fun, the class loved the accents and "wow cool, at my school we have to sing the star spangled banner" type talk.

MissAnnersley · 06/05/2012 09:49

YANBU. When my DS's two cousins came to stay for the weekend I kept him off school on the Friday afternoon as they were here for such a short time and he hadn't seen them for over a year.

He was incredibly excited and had a wonderful time.

The sky hasn't fallen in yet!

BlueFergie · 06/05/2012 09:53

I have no problem with people taking kids out of school normally. I was taken out every year for 3 weeks and I'll be taking DD out this year in June for 2 weeks (we are in Ireland so fines etc dont apply). Also she'll be taking 4 days in Sept for 2 family weddings.
But I have to say even I wouldnt do this. It just doesn't seem like a good enough reason. She will have mid term with them plus afternoons after school. I don't think missing two half days with relatives tired from travelling is a big deal.
So yes i think YABU.

imnotmymum · 06/05/2012 09:53

How strange how threads differ ??

sayithowitis · 06/05/2012 09:54

I wouldn't. If they are arriving with you on Wednesday, they will surely be jet-lagged and will need Thursday to get their body clocks sorted. And Friday would be a day for them to re-orientate themselves in the area. If they were only going to be with you for a couple of days, I would agree with you, but you will have the whole of half-term together, so no, I don't think you need or should, take your DD out of school for those days.

Sirzy · 06/05/2012 09:57

Surely on the Thursday they will just want to rest anyway? So why not just keep her home on the Friday if it means that much to you?

Original poster
NunWithADirtyHabbit · 06/05/2012 09:59

I do not mind getting a flaming - and I do actually think that family is more important then schooling in some cases. I hadn't (in my excitement) thought about jet-lag. Maybe I should take her to school on the Thursday to let them rest and then keep her off on the Friday - which might be a good compromise.

OP posts:
MissAnnersley · 06/05/2012 10:01

That does sound like a good compromise Nun.

Purple2012 · 06/05/2012 10:20

I think the other thread went differently because the op wanted to take her dc to see her gran who she hadnt seen for 3 weeks. 2 years is a bit different. Although she will have the whole of half term with them so i dont think taking her out for 2 days when they will have more than a week is worth it. If those 2 days were the only days i would say take her out though. Also age is a factor. I wouldnt let mine off school for anything like that but she is coming up to GCSEs so wouldnt dream of letting her take time off school.
Also agree with the jet lag thing. I expect they will want a couple of days to adjust.