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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a solo holiday

25 replies

edwinbear · 05/05/2012 23:28

I have ds (2.9) dd (6 months) dh (44). dh took a solo holiday to Alaska just before dd was born, with my absolute blessing, and came back refreshed, happy and waxing lyrical about the benefits of a bit of time alone to recharge. dd is still bf at the moment, but will be weaned over the next 2-3 months and dh thinks I should think about booking a solo holiday myself. I'm a scuba diver and haven't dived for 1.5yrs, I cannot wait to get back underwater. I could do a weeks diving in Turkey for less than £1,000, still be relatively close to home and since dh was made redundant a few weeks back he can easily look after the kids.

But, I have only spent 1 night apart from ds since he was born and dd will still be weeny. dh is a brilliant dad and I know he will be fine with them, but 7 nights away from my babies?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 05/05/2012 23:31

Do it... why not?

Your kids will be with the other most important person in their life.

They will all be fine.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2012 23:32

DH has 'banned' me from diving after having DD because he is so scared I will die and leave him alone with her. Little does he know I plan to introduce her to diving as soon as I can. She already loves the water so my evil scheme is progressing well.

Only things I would say are, can you absolutely afford it with DH's redundancy and would you enjoy it? I don't know if I would miss DD too much for a whole week. Other than that, go for it.

WorraLiberty · 05/05/2012 23:33

Go for it, why not?

ChaoticismyLife · 05/05/2012 23:34

Do it. You'll have a relaxing holiday and your DH and DC will have a fab time bonding which can only be good for their relationship.

OhdearNigel · 05/05/2012 23:36

Do it. I'm hoping to go to Japan in May for a Rotary conference in Hiroshima on my own (been before so know my way round). Roam free !

Original poster

edwinbear · 05/05/2012 23:36

MTP ds and dd both started swimming at 8 weeks with the same intentions, ds is now known as 'dolphin boy' by his swimming teacher! Money is no problem, dh got a good 6 figure pay out, we have the same in savings and he is at second interview stage for another job.

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 05/05/2012 23:40

I couldn't personally. I would miss DS far too much and wouldn't enjoy the holiday.

Will DH cope looking after the two children for seven nights? And I know that they're his children too and he should be able to look after them, but would the children suffer if he struggled to keep it together? It's not going to be something he's used to doing on his own for so long. I would also worry that it would really affect your baby if Mum suddenly disappeared.

Couldn't you go somewhere together, but with the proviso that you get days, afternoons etc to yourself, and DH doesn't?

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2012 23:45

My DH absolutely could cope, they can, you know, if they've had practice.

Good for DS, edwinbear. DD is much the same, although entirely fearless, which freaks me out a bit.

Original poster

edwinbear · 06/05/2012 00:03

BB it's all those things exactly that I'm worried about. It is hard to look after two for a whole week, and when he did it, we only had ds. There is the option that he takes both dc to his parents. They live 300 miles away dh's mum would love to have her son and gc for a week.

MTP it's a bit scary when they believe they can swim, but actually can't.....the enthusiasm and confidence is to be encouraged but with mum/dad's hawk eyes.

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BaronessBomburst · 06/05/2012 00:21

Having his mum to help would certainly make it more workable. So now it only comes down to whether you and DD want to be separated for a week.....

If in doubt, don't do it. Wait until you feel more confident about the situation. I know most posters on the thread seem to disagree with me though. :)

Original poster

edwinbear · 06/05/2012 00:43

BB it's a tricky one - in my head I love the thought of a week of sleep to myself, but my heart, and the thought of my babies wondering where i was and whether i was coming home :(

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 06/05/2012 01:05

I'm in a very similar position, although there's just DS who is 2 and still BF. I desperately need a break/ sleep/ time for myself, and want to visit relatives for a couple of days but I know that DS would be distraught. I'm currently looking at the logistics of taking him with me. I must be mad!

veryconfusedatthemoment · 06/05/2012 01:24

I had a solo holiday before Christmas but DS is 6 1/2. I NEEDED the holiday - pretty awful few years. It is a personal decision tho'

WottingerAndWottingerAreDead · 06/05/2012 01:27

BB why could OP's DH not manage a week?! He's their Dad, and he'd have to get on with it, and frankly if he's going delerious with boredom in the playgym/park he'll cope- most of us do, even (whispers) Dads.....

BaronessBomburst · 06/05/2012 01:40

I was more thinking that anyone who wasn't used to looking after children on their own for a week would struggle, (let's face it, it's not easy) and whilst dads do need to get on with it, I wouldn't want them to learn at the expense of my DC being totally miserable for a week. Overnight, a weekend, build up slowly.

Couldn't care less about DH being thrown in at the deep end, it's the shock to DS!

flibbertywidget · 06/05/2012 01:59

Do it. Men do survive with it, and rarely are DC's miserable. They have 1 parent there and babies barely notice you are gone. It will be good for you.

NatashaBee · 06/05/2012 02:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 06/05/2012 02:17

Ooh, please go for it. Imagine the sleep, the relaxation, the diving (about which I know nothing, but assume it is a big draw for you ). Then think of a few nights chilling and having room service, followed by a long bath, and a few nights out to dinner, with a good book and a nice cold glass of wine. My folks used to leave us with our grandparents for a weekend every year from we were tiny (to go to festivals, the Mammy and Daddy were total hippies). They loved it, we loved it, and because they had been doing it since we were babies, we were never clingy or distraught when they left - then they got thousands of hugs and kisses from us when they got back. Do it, and, more importantly, enjoy it!

KateSpade · 06/05/2012 07:54

That is what i absolutely dream of!

I only have 1DD 6MO, no trouble really. However i just want some sunshine and be able to sit by the pool drinking cocktails all day, without worrying about feeding/changing/naps, ect//

fivegomadindorset · 06/05/2012 07:57

Go, Go, Go, I am shoving you out the door in my imagination, and that is a brilliant suggestion going to his mother's. Your DC's will have a ball.

Tee2072 · 06/05/2012 07:57

If your DH can't manage a week, now's the time for him to learn how to do it.

Go for it. Recharge yourself. You deserve it.

Mrsrobertduvall · 06/05/2012 08:00

You must go.
We have seperate holidays and love it.
I first went away when dd was 7 months old, to NY for 5 days. Bliss.

Vickles · 06/05/2012 08:08

If your little ones are used to being with daddy (as in, fully hands on daddy, which he sounds like he is) - and you have his blessing... and you can afford it..... GO!!!!

LetUsPrey · 06/05/2012 08:18

Do it. I mentioned to DH that now that my younger sister is settled in London and has a spare room (which she has offered), it'd be nice to spend a long weekend down there. He asked how we (the four of us) would fit in the spare room. I wasn't thinking of taking the three of them ...

Original poster

edwinbear · 06/05/2012 08:25

He is a very hands on dad, especially now he's at home all day, he certainly thinks he will manage just fine. shadows that is a fantastic picture you've painted there. I think I may just book it quickly before I change my mind!

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