To want to just curl up and have a good cry?

[LollipopViolet]

Not having a good week.

Uni deadline on Tuesday, if I fail this piece of work again, I fail my degree.

Boyfriend was taken into hospital on Thursday evening, released yesterday (severe kidney infection, he's type 1 diabetic, his GP didn't think to do a urine test after several visits with chronic lower back ache).

We were supposed to be off to the seaside tomorrow for his birthday.

He's just phoned, he's back in hospital - can't keep anything down.

I was already stressed with uni work - this has just doubled my stress. I can't have a cry now, I'm sat in a uni library full of people.

Can't hold it in til I'm home as I live with my parents and they're very matter of fact and would tell me to man up and deal with it - which I KNOW I need to do, but doesn't take away the feeling.

WIBU to wait til my friend arrives so she can look after my stuff, and I can sneak off to the ladies and just let the last 3 days worth of tears out? :(

I can't go to see him, due to uni work and not being family, so I'm feeling pretty helpless. Took everything to not cry down the phone :(

Go and cry!

Can you not get an extention on your uni work?

You need to email your tutor and ask for an extension. I wouldn't hand anything in at the moment, it won't reflect your ability in any way.

I hope he recovers quickly.

I can't get an extension, he's not family and we can only get them if it's family illness or bereavement.

I've just had a cry on my friend's shoulder, getting on with some more work now.

Oh lollipop and you were already struggling before this

Of course you need to cry!

Are you really sure about the not getting an extension? Have you checked? He is your partner - that is family. Or does uni limit that to those with a marriage certificate? Surely not.

I'm very sorry that you're having a rough week, OP. I do think though that you have to try to hold it together until Tuesday when you can hand your work in. You will have to hand it in - there's no time for you to ask for an extension as it's weekend and then bank holiday. Do you have access to your lecturers out of hours?

I don't know how long you've had to do this piece of work but it sounds pretty critical and the way you've referred to it, Tuesday is the day - or fail. That would be an incredible waste of time and effort and you'd forever reproach yourself for not getting your degree.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, he's in hospital. It's the best place for him. He's surrounded by professionals who will care for him in the way that he needs. Does he only have you or does he have family and friends who will visit him? That takes care of your worry for him - he will be fine and there's nothing you can do to help him. You can visit afterwards.

You know you have to pull it together but I recognise the procrastination for what it is - you haven't done your work and even if your boyfriend were well, you were planning the seaside tomorrow.... what is wrong with your head? Get your work done and stop giving way. I know it's stressful, many of us have been there but really, you're making excuses and that's a bit pathetic.

You're stronger than you think you are - all of the ongoing issues are not 'yours' - but they can be a hell of a distraction to somebody who can't/won't focus.

Get off mumsnet and get on with your work. You can have a cry when you've finished for the day, then you have two more days to complete - get on with it for goodness sakes!

I could offer a hug but it's just a word - "get on with it and realise your potential" are far more caring words and I really do wish you well but GROW UP.

Come back here on Tuesday full of good news - that you've handed in your work and your boyfriend is on the mend and I'll heartily congratulate you.

Now.... SHOO. :)

LyingWitch, thank you - that's actually what I needed. My friend gave me a hug, and a similar "firm but caring chat" and we've sat and done work for a good while.

The university thing is very complicated, but here's a short version:

Should've graduated this time last year.
Got chicken pox just after Easter weekend. Two weeks of physically being too tired to work, on a film production course, is not good.
Failed two modules, one of which I'd failed once before.
Film that's due on Tuesday is the final attempt I have at the module, if I fail it, I either don't get the honours part of the degree, or don't get the degree, I'm not sure which.
The other film is in on the 25th. It's being graded as a first attempt due to having extenuating circumstances because of said chicken pox.

So yes, I was already stressed, this just hasn't helped. Right, I'm going home, where I've got a night of more work planned, while listening to Alice Cooper's radio show.

I'm sorry OP, YANBU. Have you been to talk to whoever is your mentor, or tutor in charge of looking after you? It's usually one of the teachers involved in marking. Go talk to them about your circumstances, they'll probably give you another few days leeway, you may as well try talking to them?

Mia, with the bank holiday, unfortunately there's no time to contact anyone, and besides that, my supervisor has been a bit rubbish, but that's whoooole other discussion.

You're all absolutely right. I WILL do this, it will be OK. It doesn't help that where friends, family and people I care about are concerned, I hate feeling helpless, I want to DO something.

But, as both DBF and my friend have said, there isn't anything I can do, feasibly. The best thing, is for me to hit this deadline.

Funny thing is, I've just got home and one question has been, "So, are you going to see him, then?".

I want to, even though I HATE hospitals and hate seeing people I care about in them (see above), but, I know how the conversation would go if I did go and visit, and it'd be along the lines of "Shouldn't you be doing uni work?"

Hopefully he'll only be in another day or two, til the antibiotics kick in, but if not, I will go, after this Tuesday deadline.

Thank you all again, it's appreciated.

You know he is being looked after, and that he'd want to working and getting finished. So get your head down as much as possible over the weekend. I'm sure the hospital would let you talk to him on the phone too if that'll help you both.

Get your work in for Tuesday. Then get back over to the procrastinators and eat biscuits for a couple of days before you get on with the last one.

Good luck, and

Damn i'm sorry lollipop, that's crappy, last thing you need.

But you are right, you can do this and once you do the sense of acomplishment will all be worth it. Have a cry, have a coffee and settle in. promise yourself a long bath or something once it's done and remember once done, leave for a little while before rereading and editing-gives you 'fresh eyes'.

I'm sure you'll be fine but good luck anyway.

Lollipop... Did you get your work in on Tuesday? I was willing you to finish it and hand it in. There's nothing like regret at having missed something to needle you forever.

So... do you get your degree now?

I have to say i am doing my degree in a similar place. life doenst stop just because you are trying to wade through buckets of study!

i have nearly finished a part time degree, working part time and have four kids. one of them has a life long medical problem that could be life threatening and is currently being tested for another. This has involved about 3 trips to different london hosptials a month currently.

another child is going for tests this month for a similar problem with her health.
Add the money worries of one adult child in uni, and supporting another in local college, and 2 younger ones in sch with a big mortgage. Oh, and had to pay for my last year in uni due to gov cut backs, we are more than stressed.

life is not easy, every degree thats worth while seems to need this sort of dedication to get through.
I have even taken my books and taken notes with me to hosptial when my child has needed emergency treatment, with medication given, shoved in ambulance and an unexpected day or night on the A&E ward.