Before we get started i need to make a confession - This was a "Hungry Horse" resturant so I was not expecting fine dining and a mellow ambiance.
I was however, at 7.30 on a Friday night, expecting to be able to have a conversation with my DP without having to bellow at each other and then give up because i couldn't make myself heard. It was quite unbelievable actually. Now don't get me wrong, im not a kill joy, and it was 80's cheese so at a bearable decibel level woudl have been just right. In fact, i have been there before when this music has been played just now quite SO loud and it put me in a good mood. Not last night.
I politely and nicely asked the waitress if we could just get the music turned down "just a tad" so that i didn't go stark staring mad. I watched her go over to the manager who was propping up the bar, saw some sniggering and she came back, "no sorry, its friday night and we hae a DJ on at 9pm so we can't turn it down" 
Must have been about 8 at this point, so hardly party time. She walked off smirking at the other bar maid. Then my DP asked for my DD's pudding and had to literally shout to make himself heard. She walked over to the bar - cue more smirking from 6ft brick shit house of manager.
By this time the music had fried my synapses so i asked to see the manager, who actually squared up to me! 
I was shouting, he got right in my face and told me not to shout - "dont shout and point at me darling!" (im not joking) I WAS shouting because otherwise i coudlnt have made myself heard. He was really aggressive, invading my personal space and saying "what do you expect love, its friday night and we have a DJ now, you should have known" Not in the resturant though surely, and not so early, the DJ wasn't playing. Had this been after 9pm in a non food pub, fine. Now im no shrinking violet but had i been i would have been quite scared. I told him i no longer wished to discuss it and asked for the adress of head office. At this point he got right in my face and said "im going to get you to talk to someone else before i lose my temper" i mean, WTAF?? Then his wife comes out, and just made it worse - I said to her, i am not his darling or love (as i had repeatedly asked him not to call me this) and she kept saying, Come one love, its just a turn of phrase. Yes, under normal circumstances, but not shouted in my face, it was intimidating. I had to ask several times for head office address, which when i got home and checked the website became apparent was incomplete!
So, as far as im concerned this is cause for a serious complaint - not so much the fact that the music was stupidly loud (it really was, im not THAT old that i dont enjoy loudish music, but itwas at nightclub level), or even the fact that the waitress was rude (i'll forgive her that, she was young) But the fucking thug of a manager thinking it was OK to square up to a customer. Let alone a customer he was at least a foot taller than. DP just kept his head down (which was probably the best thing to do in the circumstances and he knows im not scared). The bloody manageress then directed her "apology" at my DP and kept saying "well im sorry he called you darling" like i was being precious - maybe i was, i dont know, but not when its shouted at me in sarcastic tones. The lady in the cake shop, the smiley faced plumber caling me luv and darling, fine, i quite like it, it makes me smile, but not some Thug of a bar manager.
On reflection i have seen this person being aggressive with customers in the past when they have complained, no apology, just excuses and pretty much a tone of "if you dont like it, fuck off" but has always been fine with us. He wont of course get the opportunity again.
My question is though was i unreasonable in the first place for wanting the music turned down or should have just sucked this up, on account i was in a lively pub (it wasnt lively though, it was jut the manager and his cronies at the bar!) or was i justified as the music in the resturant area was unacceptably loud so that we couldnt have a conversation.