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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU in considering allowing my dd to get a "job" when she turns 13?

50 replies

mumofjust1 · 04/05/2012 22:08

This is my first AIBU so be gentle!

My dd is 13 in 2 weeks and has discovered that she can legally "work" when she does turn 13.

She says she would like to and I have said ok, if we can find something suitable.

Anyway, posted for ideas on a local forum and one response suggested that I was indeed BU and questioned my daughters motives for wanting to work for money!

I had a job when I was 13 and it didn't do me any harm - so didn't think it was a big issue?

Thoughts appreciated :)

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2012 22:10

I had a job on the till in the local general store when I was aged 12 to 16yrs.

I used to work from 5pm to 8pm five days a week and Saturday mornings from 10am to 1pm.

I loved it and it kept me out of trouble

duckdodgers · 04/05/2012 22:11

Why on earth else do people work if it isnt for money

YANBU. My DS is 19 and cant get a "proper" job so is still doing his milk round hes been doing for years whilst hes at college. It has taught him the value of money and the value of working for things he really wants.

rasputin · 04/05/2012 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2012 22:14

Oh I did a Christmas day shift when I was 15

I actually really enjoyed it because I'm the youngest in the family so all the others were in their late teens and too hungover to get up early anyway.

AgentZigzag · 04/05/2012 22:16

What motives did they think she had for working?

What else is there apart from earning and spending?

I did paper rounds from 9 to 15 YO and it kept me in fags off the streets and learning all the big 'work lessons' like reliability and that.

Wonder how long her enthusiasm will last once the hard graft sets in, couple of weeks?

ForkInTheForeheid · 04/05/2012 22:17

Yanbu to allow it, however it's not so easy for teens to get jobs as it used to be so she's unlikely to get much beyond a paper round until she's maybe 15 or so, unless you've got family or friends who'd like to employ her?

duckdodgers · 04/05/2012 22:17

Worra

The highlight of my first job when I was 15 and working in a chippy in Largs was serving Ally McCoist (then Rangers player). Drop dead gorgeous, and I gave him extra chips. More than made up for going home every night stinking of chip fat

Birdsgottafly · 04/05/2012 22:20

Mine had paper rounds at that age, it gave them good work ethi, as long as it is something that she wants to do and is not being pushed into it.

GCSE's have gone to mainly coursework and depending on the subjects taken, nightly homework is the norm. So is she needs to not work in a couple of years time, let her give up to concentrate on geting good marks.

College places are becoming very competative, you need the results and good attendence. Education has changed.

ForkInTheForeheid · 04/05/2012 22:20

I worked from 15, had been looking since I was 14, and it was great, lots of skills gained and money to buy music and clothes and alcohol that my parents couldn't have spared me.

NicNocJnr · 04/05/2012 22:23

YANBU. I had jobs from younger than that (naughty I know) for a bit of cash in hand and then got a proper job.

You know your DD better than everyone else and are in the best position to judge if she will be able to combine work and keeping up with school. If she can then what's the problem? It gives you a great deal of social experience and a good grounding in what's required to work for a living while you're still young enough for people to go easy on you

I agree about the lessons on valuing money and responsibility. I'm surprised people were so hostile?! It's not like you're sending her up chimmneys!

mosschops30 · 04/05/2012 22:25

I think its very important that they work and learn the value of money.

squeakytoy · 04/05/2012 22:25

I worked from 13. Worked on a farm, did waitressing, and by 15 I was working 5 nights a week at the local petrol station (it was the 80's, so employment law was a lot less stringent then) but it meant I could buy the clothes, records, make up and other bits I wanted, and save up too.

At 17 I had enough savings to buy a car, pay for the insurance, and put a deposit on a house.

cazboldy · 04/05/2012 22:25

my ds1 has a saturday/holiday job at the local garage, and has done since he was 13 - he is 15 now, and they have already offered him an apprenticeship, and he has learned loads - is great when the car goes wrong

Original poster

mumofjust1 · 04/05/2012 22:25

Thanks for your comments!

I didn't think I was being unreasonable - as I said, I worked from 13 myself, paper round and then in a newsagents, didn't do me any harm and I found it gave me a bit of independence, a bit of pocket money and a bit of insight into just how hard you have to work to earn money.

As said upthread, she may not enjoy it after a couple of weeks (!) and, also mentioned,we may not find anything as any kind of work is hard to come by these days.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 04/05/2012 22:27

I had jobs from the age of 11. I used to work on fruit picking farms in the sumemr and weekends and be paid per punnet that I picked.

Also worked on a golf range picking up balls and was paid by bucket.

Then by the time I was 14 I progressed to being a cleaner at a holiday complex on a Saturday.

Taught me valuable lessons and I think has given me a good work ethic that I still have.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 04/05/2012 22:27

I'd go for paper round. I did an after school paper round and enjoyed earningthe money then from 14-17 spent the summers working on 'pick your own' farms.
I think its a good idea as long as its not too much that it interferes with school work.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 04/05/2012 22:28

Of course YANBU - it will do her good and certainly no harm! I pestered the local supermarket for the entire year I was 13, I started working the day after I turned 14 (the legal age where I was living). It was fun in a warped kind of way... and great having my money (even though my parents never saw me go short for anything anyway).

HSMM · 04/05/2012 22:31

DD has been scouting around for something part tine over the summer when she'll be 13 and hasn't found anything yet. I think it's good for them.

AgentZigzag · 04/05/2012 22:32

Not wanting you to feel pressed OP, honest but the person questioning your DDs motivations for wanting to work, what do you think they meant by that?

It just implies she maybe has sinister motivations for wanting to work and I can't work out what they thought they might be.

Just ignore if there's a reason why you haven't said, it's only because I'm interested rather than having a go at you or anything.

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2012 22:35

I'm confused at that too ziggers!

ReallyTired · 04/05/2012 22:38

DS get paid for singing at weddings. Ie. £4 for an hour's work. He is ten years old.

I think a lot depends on how many hours your dd plans to work. Its very hard for teens to get jobs these days.

Original poster

mumofjust1 · 04/05/2012 22:39

Agent zigzag - no its fine! It wasn't anyone that knows me, just a random member from my local forum. She said she didn't know why any 13 year old would want to work for money (?) When there were volunteering oppertunities around.

To be honest I hadn't thought of that - dd sprung the work thing on me a couple of hours ago as she'd researched on line and found on our council website that children can legally work from 13 with appropriate authorisation from the council.

OP posts:

MissFaversham · 04/05/2012 22:41

I'm another one saying yes, let her try and see what she could do. I worked from the age of 12 too.

JollyBear · 04/05/2012 22:42

My friend has a theory that having a job as a teenager is essential to ensure you grow up into a well rounded individual and not a spoilt knob!

Sallyingforth · 04/05/2012 22:43

Good for your DD!
Working for a little money will give her an appreciation of its value. And quite apart from that she will learn responsibility. Encourage her.

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