AMIBU to think it is all him?

[osospecial]

Ok so my 7 year relationship is hanging on by a thread atm, if it was not for our DD or the fact that it is his house we live in (and i actually had somewhere else to go!) then i honestly think we would have split by now.
Its just argument after argument lately and im so fed up and also concerned it will affect dd, hearing us rowing.
We cannot seem to agree on ANYTHING lately and its driving me mad. We have always been quite different but it worked but we just seem to butt heads over everything now.
I was willing to try and make an effort and after making up after a row the other week (when i seriously looked at my options at moving out), i was trying to make an effort only to be met by rudeness and impatientness every time i open my mouth-is it too much to ask for to be spoken to nicely?? AIBU to expect him to try and speak nicely to get along?? it is literally impossible to have a decent discussion about anything and i always end up losing my temper because im speaking nicely 'what do you want for tea...'etc and im just getting answers like 'THOUGHT WE ALREADY DECIDED THIS MORNING!' [impatient snap]
aarrggghhhhhhhh had enough.............

oh and then to be treated like its my fault that i lose my temper then after being spoken to so rudely after biteing my tounge the first 6 times!! sorry ill stop typing now!!

Have you actually been able to discuss the possibility of separating and how this might make each of you feel?

Do you still love him?

It is not unreasonable to want to be spoken to in a pleasant way. But is his attitude reciprocating of yours maybe?

YANBU I expect Dh to speak to me with at least the politeness he'd speak to a stranger with. I'm not a verbal punching bag and won't stand for such disrespect.

no we dont discuss anything because the minute i try his attitude is just 'if you are not happy then whats the point?' he shuts down/walks out etc we dont have conversations he has said in last few weeks he has had enough of arguing and cant do it anymore.
Do i still love him?....yes, i definately couldnt walk away easily but have gotten to a point that i just cant see living with him for the rest of my life...just cant see how to work it out, and cant argue every other week anymore and i actually feel a bit of relief when thinking of seperating and no more arguing :(
Bank hol wknd and we will prob barely speak all wknd! we have booked to go away with big group of friends next month. i have been really excited about it but he has just been miserable about it, he just cannot make an effort.
I dont know about his attitude being reciprocating of mine, honestly i think im trying to make an effort and speak to him nicely, do nice things etc so dont know why he cant do that back! how can we mend a relationship if we cant even discuss tea without arguing!

thanks mumpaula, he definately does not speak to me with politeness as he would a stranger and this is the issue really. i do constantly feel like a verbal punch bag (i have actually used those words) when he has had a bad day in work etc and i have just asked a simple question and im met with impatient snapping, then i lose my patience at being spoken to like that and shout back