to think this is grossly out of order by manager

[OhdearNigel]

Colleague is off sick after very tragic 19wk miscarriage. Manager today was in our office discussing with HR over the phone the contents of a very distressing email she had been sent with talks of suicide and openly gossiping (under the veil of concern) about it with two other colleagues. I was sitting about 35 ft away and could hear it all clearly despite working in an office where people are on the phone all the time so lots of background noise.

WIBU to be outraged at casual discussion of hideously distressing event that should have remained private and reporting it to manager's senior manager (which is what I did) ?

Should point out that said manager is well known in our office for total lack of professionalism. Furthermore she has her own office so no reason to do such private business in teh open office

No... Yanbu.
That is out of order

Horrible breach of confidentiality, YANBU.

Disgusting

Horrible, glad she's not my manager!

I'd have reported it too, that kind of gossip is not on.

she called us together for an office meeting to update us - a thinly veiled excuse to tell us just how badly colleague is doing and how distressed she is. It was totally unnecessary and I feel really upset for colleague (who is a personal friend as well as work friend)

DH is worried that I might get some comeback but I told him I don't care whether she finds out it was me or not. Someone has to stand up to this sort of behaviour

YANBU, I would have reported it too.

I could go on for hours about the breaches of confidentiality she has made in the past. I won't because if I haven't already outed myself to any colleagues that might be on here more detail certainly would

Good for you, OhDearNigel. YANBU.

That's just bang out of order

Feel sorry for you and your colleague having to work with this awful person

YANBU at all

Senior manager responded and said they would be speaking to manager next week and would update me. It's the latest in a long series of grievances and manager is on some sort of action plan at the moment. Senior manager was not at all impressed from tone of the email I received

YAN in the least bit U. Your Manager is an arse

DH is probably right, there probably will be comeback from this, you are being pretty brave. But all sorts of inappropriate behaviour goes on in the workplace because there aren't enough people with the guts to challenge it. At least you can look your friend in the eye.
Good on you

You did the right thing, the colleague probably thinks her communications with manager are confidential as they bloody well should be. I had a traumatic mc and was off work for a while, when I got back not one sole knew the reason for my absence bar manager and HR as it should be. I'd have been devastated that something so personal was office gossip.

Good for you fo not following you dh and doing the right thing.

Wow my anger killed my ability to type!

Brightspark - manager tried having a wrangle with me before and got more than they bargained for. She would be a fool indeed if she tried to make things difficult for me.

OP, you sound as though you could work in my office! One of our HR managers is exactly the same. There is nothing that won't be gossiped about. I dread the day I may have a personal problem and may need to tell HR.

SS - nothing is private in our office. Manager loves talking about colleagues and making announcements - it obviously makes her feel important

Dearnigel,your friend is very lucky to have you!sounds completely unprofessional,and just like my manager.you may get some backlash but good on you for taking a stand!some people clearly cant be managers.

You did the right thing. If I were you I'd spend a little time over the weekend jotting down the other 'breaches of confidence' that you can remember.

YANBU. You have done the right thing. Good on your for standing up for what's right. The manager sounds awful :(

YANBU,
fucking horrible :-(