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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my daughter aged 3 had the most pointless tantrum in the world

161 replies

ReallyTired · 04/05/2012 18:37

DD is angry because I flushed away her poo. She wanted Daddy to flush the poo away. I am not having her poo stinking out our bathroom for the next two hours. She has been potty trained since christmas and should be growing out of this poo fasination.

Does she get the mumsnet vote for the daftest tantrum of the day.

OP posts:
VickityBoo · 05/05/2012 09:34

These could write a book! Dd (3) threw a complete wobbly because I went downstairs before her one day. I always have done this when I'm with her just in case she trips etc, this time I should have physically known she had to be the leader!!

DitaVonCheese · 05/05/2012 09:34

My two favourites from 3.5 yo DD so far are the one she had because I refused to drive our car into other cars on the motorway Hmm and the one she had when she wanted to have had lunch somewhere other than where she had actually had lunch Confused

Bumblefeck We also have regular strops over her wanting to push the trolley she's sitting in.

Bewitched I'm sure that children of the 50s did have tantrums - it's to do with the transitional stage between being a baby and a child, not parenting, just like teenage strops are to do with the transition from child to adult. FWIW I was a child of the 70s and had some epic tantrums, which usually resulted in me being locked in a bedroom (I'm now mid-30s and am perfectly capable of tantrumming still Blush so would not recommend this approach.

LondonKitty · 05/05/2012 10:18

Grin Grin Grin

These are so funny!

Already had a tantrum today because "you don't know what I'm going to say to you" (6yrs).

No shit, Sherlock!

gafhyb · 05/05/2012 10:23

Hecate

I think it is important for parents of NT children to distinguish between meltdowns and tantrums. DS1 used to have the former, DS2 more the latter.

HecateTrivia · 05/05/2012 10:58

Yes, I know. People say 'meltdown' when they mean tantrum and have never experienced an actual meltdown Grin

Doesn't bother me, I know what they mean by meltdown. But it would be nice to know they knew the difference.

dylsmimi · 05/05/2012 11:23

Huge tantrum yesterday after I put blocks away =half an hr full screaming, going floppy when being put in the buggy. Oh and the location meant we had to walk through a silent art gallery with people studiously looking at art being interupted by an inconsolable 2yr old!!
My mum says I was the same & finds all this very funny. Apparently she left me screaming & kicking in the middle of a pavement!
My MIL says her dcs had no tantrums or bad behaviour!

curiousgeorgie · 05/05/2012 11:29

My DD is 19 months... Last night she was in a Crazy mood! She was in her high chair and everytime I stirred the dinner she screamed at me and shook her head no.

I started to stealth cook dinner. Doing something when she was looking the other way.

No idea why she freaked out but it was quite hilarious!

IllegitimateGruffal0Child · 05/05/2012 11:44

Stealth dinner prep. Love it!

fuzzpig · 05/05/2012 12:14

Fab thread. I can't remember the causes of specific tantrums but last week my DS - 2.8 but not very verbal - stomped into the kitchen and demanded (by pointing) pasta. He got very upset when I said no (it wasn't lunchtime!) so I offered him every bloody snack food in the house. The only thing that consoled him was a carrot.

fuzzpig · 05/05/2012 12:26

Incidentally I did not tantrum as a child. I was very passive. However I have been having my own meltdowns for as long as I can remember. I didn't know what they were until quite recently when I found out
I have Aspergers.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 05/05/2012 13:07

Fuzzpig! How are you doing now?

DD had a meltdown at 3am this morning because she'd lost her spade Confused

FrothyOM · 05/05/2012 13:21

My 3yo ds has tantrums because when he asks for milk I give him milk. I then have to persuade him that it IS milk. After a while he accepts it's milk and drinks it. This happens on a daily basis. The very definition of pointless. Confused

happystory · 05/05/2012 13:29

Ds then aged 2.5 had a massive meltdown because he and his cousin were sticking and gluing at our kitchen table and her glue stick was BIGGER than his....

goodtimesarecoming · 05/05/2012 13:40

My favourite ones for Ds2 (now 7) were the sausage sandwich - cut in half with some ketchup on it, he kept screaming cause the ketchup wasn't the same size on each side. After about 10 minutes it ended up with me sqirting the whole bottle on in frustrated rage.

Then the rice crispies without enough milk on them. Kept pouring, eventually the milk just flooded out, more tears.

Oh, and this isn't the right spoon/cup/plate/every item ever invented

PrideOfChanur · 05/05/2012 13:48

So gafhyb and Hecate ,what is the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum?

DitaVonCheese · 05/05/2012 14:05

Pride I was just wondering that ...

fuzzpig · 05/05/2012 14:13

A tantrum is the whole "toddler lying on the floor because they don't get their way" thing. A normal part of development, DCs test boundaries and while they get upset when they come up against them (ie no you can't have ice cream for breakfast) they need the boundaries to help them grow.

A meltdown in ASD terms is what happens when the child just cannot take any more - usually a build up of stuff like sensory overload, so being in a terribly busy/noisy place or for someone like me, just doing too much socialising without alone time. The child cannot control it at all and is not trying to 'get their own way'.

Sorry that's probably a crap explanation, this whole ASD thing is still very new to me.

Breast milk - hello :) not so bad now, just wobbly, thanks for asking

  • been in bed all day attempting to sleep (but failing - hence my MNing going through the roof...)
HecateTrivia · 05/05/2012 14:34

yes, and a tantrum will normally end when the child either gets their own way or realises they aren't going to get their own way Grin a meltdown won't end even if you solve the 'problem' that caused it in the first place.

Also, an autistic child having a meltdown won't know or care if they have an audience. It isn't about an attempt to control their parent

HecateTrivia · 05/05/2012 14:34

here too

PrideOfChanur · 05/05/2012 14:35

thanks,fuzzpig. I think my NT daughter had both then - she was (still is a bit) easily overloaded,too much noise,too much busyness and she'd meltdown. I spent a lot of her toddler years feeling silly and PFB as I told friends we couldn't do "x" in the afternoon because we'd already done "y" in the morning and it'd be too much...

My favorite tantrum was when she'd pestered DH to share a sweet with her - she didn't like it,spat it dramatically out and then threw a mega wobbly because he wouldn't give her another one! Finally calmed down and got really excited about plan to go out with Daddy to buy icecream - yum - but she didn't like icecream! (cue resigned parents waiting for the whole thing to kick off again...)

HecateTrivia · 05/05/2012 14:39

oh, and an nt child having a tantrum won't, for example, chuck themselves in front of an oncoming lorry, whereas an autistic child having a meltdown has no ability to manage their own safety.

An nt child may give you the impression that they are hurting themselves, or could hurt themselves, but it is carefully managed to ensure no serious injury Grin whereas an autistic child in meltdown is at actual risk of harm.

PrideOfChanur · 05/05/2012 14:45

Thanks Hecate - interesting link.
I wasn't implying that from my NT DD's behaviour I knew what having a child with autism was like by the way - just that we definitely had times where it wasn't a manipulative tantrum we were getting,but something different.

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2012 15:03

DD just had a full blown meltdown/tantrum because DH dared to cut up the bagel she was eating. Despite the fact she couldn't eat it whole.

When she reaches 13 I'm moving into the shed...

fuzzpig · 05/05/2012 15:05

as I told friends we couldn't do "x" in the afternoon because we'd already done "y" in the morning and it'd be too much...

I have to do this for myself and I'm 25! :)

wonkylegs · 05/05/2012 16:50

I had a massive tantrum when my brother was born (I was 4) and we had visitors who wanted to take photos of the baby and not just of me.... I know this because the visitors kindly to a photo of me in mid melt down instead and dug it out and posted it to me as an adult Grin
I def didn't have softly softly parents (we got smacked, sent to our rooms and if you didn't eat something you didn't get an alternative, actually I remember a battle of wills over some truly heinous dessert my mum made that I'd refused to eat til I'd been sat at the table for 6hours and I gave up and just ate it with tears streaming down my face as I wanted to go to bed) anyway I digress my point was kids have always had tantrums about completely illogical things no matter how or when they grew up, we just choose to forget about lots of things as we get older.