Who pays?

[londonandwhere]

If you go to your birthday meal with your parents who bring your birthday present who pays for it?

And other usual days do you sometimes buy your parents lunch or dinner?

My parents even paid for a meal to celebrate THEIR 40th Wedding Anniversary!

Through my 20s my parents would still insist on paying (I was at university and in training until I was 26). Now (at 36), I usually do, but it is sometimes a battle. Since I gave them a ballpark figure of our income, they generally let me now as it illustrated how silly it was for someone who is semi-retired to pay for people who are on two full time incomes.

Might split with parents. They might insist sometimes. With IL's we always have to pay.

My parents always want to pay, they do have much more disposable income than we do but even so it is embarassing and my DH can feel quite offended (male pride ). If it is just Mum and I we try to have a 'rota' but she usually wants to pay, I have learned to accept gracefully.

No ILs .

We always take mum and dad out and pay as they look after the boys for us so we can have little jollies away. I also book them in for lunch at a local little pub we like now and again and I pick up the tab the following day.

It is our 25th anniversary next month and I have booked for us all to go out and we will pay, but I have said to my parents we are paying.

We always offer to pay when having lunch with PiL, they always refuse and make sure they pay.
We tend to pay when eating with my mum, she offers to pay all or some of the meal, we sometimes accept a small payment from her.
We always pay when eating out with dad, but as we eat out more often with him, he always hands me a £10 or £20 note as we leave, we don't have the conversation at the table.

I would always think everyone would expect to pay for themself at a restaurant, unless agreed otherwise beforehand. However, in the OP's situation, what would actually happen would usually be dh would insist on paying for my mum, and then my mum would insist on giving me some money which would clearly be more than whatever her dinner had cost.

Sometimes we pay and sometimes my parents pay. If we go out as a big family including my siblings and their children we to celebrate one of our parents birthdays we usually split the cost of their meals between us.