Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To think that Long Lost Families on ITV is sad bad and dangerous.

40 replies

LimitedAppeal · 03/05/2012 21:42

They track down a bloke who abandoned his young daughter twenty years after buying her a pair of wellies one afternoon saying he would come back. He didn't and never contacted her again.

But he sits on a sofa in the States with his new wife and new grown up daughter saying 'It was too difficult, blah blah..' and nickey campbell does the glistening eye shit. And they all moon over the grandson this man never gave a second fucking thought about til a camera turns up.

Simplistic?

or is it me?

Simplistic dangerous bullshit?

Or is it me?

I really really hope that Nicky and his side-kick wife tina have sat on their designer sofa and talked this one through. Doubt it.

To be a really honest programme they have to find a few shitbags who simply are not interested in knowing the kids or family they abandoned.

OP posts:

Original poster

LimitedAppeal · 03/05/2012 23:58

Yes. That is very understandable. But as a Tv programme about the matter it has to have much more substance IMO. Otherwise what is it? Just a lot of jim'll fix its. A subject as serious as this needs more depth and follow-up.

Adoption breakdowns have soared since the advent of FB and all other social media - and programmes like this feed of the back of it. A much more thought-provoking area that nicky campbell going all misty eyed down the lens.

OP posts:

AdoraBell · 04/05/2012 00:16

Haven't seen it, but I'm assuming that all parties have to agree to appear on the show. If my long losts came looking I'd tell them to go away, but not everyone would do that. Don't know what to say about the concept though, in theory they all know what they are letting themselves in for etc, but some people really don't and would find that kind of reaction crushing.

So I don't know, some people will undoubtably benefit from it, others could be destroyed emotionally by it.

jaquelinehyde · 04/05/2012 00:27

I hate the bloody programme and don't think it should be used for entertainment.

Original poster

LimitedAppeal · 04/05/2012 01:12

I wish there was a 'like' tick thumbs-up facebooke-stylee for posts on MN. I could then do a tick for above posts.

OP posts:

Serendipity30 · 04/05/2012 03:25

Why this particular guy worse to you than the two mothers who gave up their kids , shown on last weeks show stop being so judgemental

Serendipity30 · 04/05/2012 03:26

OP you are weirdly angry and bitter about it, they are adults who agree to be part of the show,

sunnydelight · 04/05/2012 03:32

I can see why it makes you uncomfortable (I've never seen it). I hate watching other people's misery in the name of "entertainment" too but as everyone else has said presumably these are people who contacted the programme and asked to be included. Not everyone has the resources for a search so maybe this is their only option. I'm adopted and have never felt the need to search for my bio parents, but I know a lot of people who have more curiosity than I have.

Serendipity30 · 04/05/2012 03:36

its a touching show, when people have searched for their family for eg. 20 years and hey find them. Its touching, stop forcing yourself to see the negative where there is none

southlundon · 04/05/2012 10:45

I like this show actually but DH and I were really uncomfortable about the girld and her American dad on last night's show. What really struck us was 1) how he said 'there are no excuses'. No there aren't - you are an awful dad. and 2) when the daughter was walking with Davina to meet him she was asked what she was most worried about and it was "that he won't like me".

Terrible that after all this time, when the daughter is completely blameless and the dad is totally at fault, the daughter still was seeking approval from someone who clearly didn't give a shit about her for 80% of her life. Very sad.

On the other hand, last week's programme had me sobbing with the man who found his birth mother.

megapixels · 04/05/2012 13:38

Even though abandonment is abandonment, the mother in last week's show seemed to have been clear that she couldn't care less about her children. When the older two tracked her down they knew exactly where they stood with her.

This guy on the other hand takes his five year old shopping, plays the loving dad, said they'll be seeing a lot of each other, and disappears from her life entirely. How could anyone do that to a 5 year old :(. No wonder he is being judged differently.

rubycon · 04/05/2012 16:05

there is a story behind every missing member of a family. Some have happy endings and some don't. When you start looking for a lost person its not usually done on a whim and you do know that you might not get the ending that you would want.

It was so much easier to trace people 12/13 years ago - the government have screwed down the doors that you used to be able to use. Hence the very large waiting time for adopted people to get their counselling and look at their adoption files.

Some people just don't know where or how to search and have to turn to programmes like this - the 3 sisters from last night now have a family that they didn't have before.

wisty · 07/05/2012 19:00

I feel i have had to reply to the other posters with regard to the episodes featuring the '3 Sisters' who were apparently not known to each other. I am the grand daughter of Daisy and i know for a fact the information given in last nights programme is completly untrue. The sisters did know each other and the eldest two Sheila and Paulette/Cheryl were in contact with there mother. There is also other living siblings of this lady (Daisy) who were never contacting with regards to this show being aired, the things that were said, were about there mother aswell! I know the info was not correct as i have met Cheryl or Paulette as we know her when she came to stop with us around 15 years ago, She openly talked about her other sisters and contact she had with them. I know that many people will judge a mother for giving there children up for adoption but sometimes there are circumstances in life when you need to protect your children at all costs. Please do not judge this Mother, MY NANNY when you do not know the true facts, she was always open and honest about the 3 children and she always loved them.

ToothbrushThief · 07/05/2012 19:07

Wisty - I don't know exactly the episode to which you refer (last night's programme?) but it must be awful to know the background and feel it is not represented accurately.

Do you know why the 3 sisters allowed the programme to do that?

mumofjust1 · 07/05/2012 19:09

I agree whole heartedly with the op.

I hate this bloody programme. I saw a bit of the episode op mentions, and had to turn over halfway through because it made me so cross.

sensuallettuce · 07/05/2012 19:12

I love this programme it's like emotion porn :)

Flip

1 2