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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I be teaching my 4 year old to read at home?

20 replies

nespresso · 03/05/2012 18:05

He has literally just turned 4 and will start reception in September. H currently attends a nursery where some of the older kids can read, and do a bit of reading with the teacher.

At parents evening I asked the teacher about reading at home, and explained I was having problems getting him to make the transition from individual letter sounds, to stringing together a couple of letter sounds to make a sound, or first part of a word. She said he wasn't ready and didn't really encourage me to continue with it. I was left wondering if I might be doing more harm than good by continuing, and perhaps using wrong methods or something. This was a few months back and we were referring to Oxford Reading Tree, the Biff and Chip books etc.

Thing is, I feel like I should be doing something! He's still not that interested, but don't want him to be the only one in reception who can't read. Am I worrying for nothing or should I really be onto this, practising with him every day?

OP posts:

Debeez · 03/05/2012 18:08

Good for you for taking an active interest. Teacher sounds a bit naff though. Perhaps what she meant was not to worry about the nitty gritty of teaching (teaching someone to read is flipping complex) and just enjoy books together. My son was an early reader and all we did was sit everyday with books, I'd read it to him while following the line with my finger.

WorraLiberty · 03/05/2012 18:08

I agree with the teacher.

If he's not ready, you could be doing more harm than good.

Just keep him interested in books by reading to him and with him.

By with him, I mean you read the page and let him discuss/add to the story by discussing what the pictures are about.

That should be plenty.

foreverondiet · 03/05/2012 18:09

Do not teach him to read. He'll learn in reception. He's not interested for a reason - he's still a bit young!

Worrying for nothing, very very few start reception reading and those that do will generally be a) girls b) born in the autumn.

If you continue you might put him off. Enjoy playing with him.

So yes YABU to continue.

Original poster

nespresso · 03/05/2012 18:11

Both your methods sound much more enjoyable than struggling with actually trying to get him to read. Thanks. We do love reading together as in loads of bedtime stories and library trips.

OP posts:

spammertime · 03/05/2012 18:13

If he wants to learn - great - and there are lots of resources out there to help. I'd read up on phonics though!

If he doesn't want to learn - I really wouldn't worry. My DS started last September, knowing the letters S and O (he literally knew nothing else, so he couldn't even recognise his name). This was because he really didn't have any interest, and being a July born I didn't want to push it. He's now doing just fine, on course to meet all his targets. Most importantly - he loves school and thinks reading is fun. At 4, that is much more important to me than him being top of the class!

I can guarantee your child will not be the only one starting school unable to read should you choose that route.

ThisIsANickname · 03/05/2012 18:13

Children at that age should be learning language skills and having a lot of creative play; academics comes later.

If you feel like you should be "doing" something to help them develop, focus on basic problem solving games and beginning to organise things (like have them help you plan and cook dinner).

But really, the best thing you can be doing is playing with them and talking to them a lot.

WorraLiberty · 03/05/2012 18:13

I used to prefer my DS's version that he made up from looking at the pictures

It had nothing to do with the story most of the time but would have made a more interesting one

For the record, all 3 of my DS's are fantastic readers and they all started taking an interest at different ages.

hockeyforjockeys · 03/05/2012 18:13

Firstly he will not be the only one who can't read in reception, the majority wont be able to. If he is not ready to blend yet then don't push it, you risk putting him off which could potentially hinder his progress later on.

You are far better spending your time enjoying books together, discussing stories and pictures and learning to love reading. This is just as important as the technical aspects of reading, which his reception teacher will be much more skilled at teaching than you are. When he gets there you will have lots of opportunities to practise the skills he is learning at school at home, which as long as he has no specific learning difficulties means he will be an excellent reader within a few years.

gafhyb · 03/05/2012 18:14

Do not worry about teaching him. Listening to stories and enjoying all different kinds of books is more important.

The most I'd do to help him with hearing blends is to occasionally sound out words and blend them, or get him to blend. Don't do this unless you are sure how the sounds are made, You can look up Jolly Phonics sounds on You Tube.

gafhyb · 03/05/2012 18:16

^^ Do not do this too much or if it seems to annoy him.

Debsbear · 03/05/2012 18:18

If a child was interested in learning to read then go for it, but if, as you say, he isn't interested then I would leave it. Let him learn to love books, through your reading to him rather than presurring him when he isn't ready. Very few children will know how to read before reception (in fact in the uk there's alot that manage to leave school that way as well!).

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/05/2012 18:25

I think if he can understand some of the letters and know that books have a right-way-up and you read them from left to right... he'll be way ahead of a lot of others when he gets to Reception. Keep encouraging a love of books, reading to him and finding practical ways to incorporate reading & writing into everyday activities... shop fascias, road signs, 'signing' a birthday card etc. He'll get the hang of it.

Original poster

nespresso · 03/05/2012 18:44

He does know all the phonics letter sounds and can recognise his name and sibling's names. That's about it! He does get annoyed when I sound out the letters and sounds while reading a story :)

Thanks for all this advice. Feel much less uneasy about this as it's been bothering me for a few weeks.

OP posts:

gafhyb · 03/05/2012 18:46

Oh then totally back off then! He's sensing your anxiety and feeling pressurised.

gafhyb · 03/05/2012 18:47

(understandable anxiety, but not warranted. He'll be fine)

Original poster

nespresso · 03/05/2012 18:48

He probably is! Poor little guy. Will stick with enjoying books together!

OP posts:

Lizcat · 03/05/2012 18:49

Please don't worry. As I am dyslexic I did not teach DD to read as I felt I could mess the job up. She went into a class with a very high number of children who had been taught to read by their parents. Now they are in year 3 and really it has all evened out and they all read at a very similar level.

Tugboat · 03/05/2012 18:53

I didn't teach either of my DD's because I would probably have done it wrong, Both DD's are at the top of their class for reading. I made sure they could write their names and sort of get dressed by themselves :)

Pandemoniaa · 03/05/2012 18:55

Just enjoy reading together. Forget about sounding out letters for now and concentrate on having fun with books.

blackberryjam · 03/05/2012 18:57

I work as a TA in Reception and I think it's great that you're showing an interest in getting your DS prepared for school. If you're reading lots of lovely, colourful books to him and talking about the the stories and the world around him then this is a great start. Don't worry about trying to get him to read before he starts school as the teacher will start teaching him from scratch anyway! It's helpful if he can recognise his name so I guess that's a useful starting point! The phonics system is used in most schools and it's amazing how quickly the majority of children pick this up. It's taught in quite a systematic way and it's important not to miss any of the stages out. He's probably not ready for the 'Biff and Chip' books yet.

Obviously some children have started to read before they start school which is fine but if he's not that interested then I wouldn't 'force' it at at the moment. As well as being a TA I have 4 primary aged school children and, to put it in perspective, my eldest could 'read' when he was 3 and the others could only recognise a few words when they started. They're now all reading fluently and in the highest groups for literacy. The age that they start reading isn't necessarily an indicator of future academic ability so don't worry!! I promise you that he won't be the only one in Reception who can't read when he starts.

It's an exciting time ahead so good luck!

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