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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

RSVP you bloody rude people!!!

45 replies

DublinMammy · 02/05/2012 17:02

It's my DS's 3rd birthday on Saturday. We invited all 8 other children in his class at the creche and so far I have only had a message from 2 of them to say whether they can come or not. I really need to know who is coming as it affects the amount of food/ organise party bags etc. AIBU to think it's really rude to not let me know? Do most parents ignore invitations for their children like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
DublinMammy · 02/05/2012 20:16

Monkey that's a really, really good idea! Much less stressful and covers all the unknowns. You're a genius!!!

OP posts:
monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 20:17

no I'm not I read it on a BRILLIANT thread here with loads of fab kids party tips

I'll have a look see if I can find it again

another one is get one of the older siblings to have the "special job" of giving them all name stickers - makes games much easier!

MaargeritaPracatan · 02/05/2012 20:18

oh blimey, texting to say thanks for the party? i'm no slacker on the etiquette front but this hasn't happened in 12 years of party giving or partaking!

monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 20:18

oh and this one is from experience:

people turn up EARLY Shock really early! have everything set up stupidly early if you don't want kids sobbing "but where's the party?"

hermioneweasley · 02/05/2012 20:24

I didn't challenge her (wimp). Wish I had.

Bluebell99 · 02/05/2012 20:24

I think people are less likely to reply if they don't know you. You are more likely to get people to come if you go and loiter at the creche on Monday and Tuesday. Not many people would want to leave a three year old u nattended at a party so the prospect for those parents is to go to a kids party where they will know no one and where the inviting parent hasn't issued an invite in person. When I was doing parties for that age I knew the other parents from nursery, preschool and NCT so it was actually quite a nice chance to get together and socialise.

FashionEaster · 02/05/2012 20:25

2/12 replies so far...but still some time to go. There is one parent that never replies to party invitations and her dd never attends any, although her dd gets excited about going to the parties she never goes to Sad. I don't know what the issue is and don't want to put a big clunky foot in it, but always invite her just in case this once she can come.

Last year I did whole class party x2 at the same time. Had about a third no replies days before the party, so dc1 (7) off his own bat went and asked the children in front of their parents before and after school if they were coming. Think he shamed them into it as had a flurry of late replies.

monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 20:27

bluebell, going to parties my son gets invited to is HOW I get to know the parents at his nursery, I'm often not the one doing the nursery run and work FT so don't have coffee morning type mum friends

its always nice to go along and put faces to the names DS chats about and meet their parents

silver28 · 02/05/2012 20:31

I did put ''RSVP by [date] please' on recent invitations to DS's 4th birthday party and it made no fecking difference to most of the patents. I hounded them with text messages (got their mobile numbers by asking those parents who had replied as they're all matey). About half of the Jon repliers couldn't come either, so not sure if they were ever planning to let me know

Can I recommend really string stickers fit the party bag from hell? DS got some from a recent party, stuck them all over the lounge (inc coffee table) and they are clinging on for dear life.

silver28 · 02/05/2012 20:32

That would be strong stickers, not string ones!

monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 20:34

and play doh (evil smile)
and paints
and chalk!
GLITTER! put glitter in the no RSVP party bags!! Grin
no no, glitter-glue!

Greenshadow · 02/05/2012 20:36

Would say 'No' to party bags for siblings.
Only those you invite get a bag. But then I'm Mrs Mean and didn't have siblings come to our parties anyway (had them at home, so space was always an issue).

Floggingmolly · 02/05/2012 20:44

You don't necessarily have to invite siblings, you know... Just as some people don't feel the need to reply to an invitation, other feel it extends to the whole family. Ignorant buggers!

Tiddlyompompom · 02/05/2012 20:51

I think it's incredibly rude - DS is only a year old, but having read so many similar threads, when his party-giving time comes I'll be adding an extra line on the invites: "If replies aren't received by X date, we will assume your child is unable to attend".
To be honest, if I was meant to be holding a party and had replies from one or two guests, I'd probably take them out somewhere fun instead of staying in, and if anyone else turned up then tough. Grin

Original poster
DublinMammy · 02/05/2012 20:58

Hey Bluebell I know what you mean, it can feel a bit awkward to go to a party when you don't know anyone but on the other hand it's possible to just text me and say you can't come then no problem! Am really hoping no-one will come and then just hand over their 3 year old and swan off to shop or whatever..... Should I have put "Child X and Mummy/Daddy" on the invitation?

OP posts:
monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 21:04

nah that wouldn't help much if (like at a party DS was invited to) the mother/father sit in the corner with a book and don't look up till home time!

PeppermintCreams · 02/05/2012 21:30

We've invited all 26 classmates to my son's 4th birthday party. I've put on RSVP by 13th May, (it's the following weekend) and they have to let me know choice of sandwiches and drink because I'm doing party boxes. I've also put parents welcome on the invite.

Invitations went out two weeks ago and I've had 4 definites text me with their sandwich choices, and 5 more "oh yes he will be coming, I'll send you a text later." One definite no, and 2 probably no. So waiting for the other half to reply. I am now having nightmares that they are going to turn up without RSVPing and I'll have to magic up extra sandwiches in a gym, miles from any shops!

MsVestibule · 02/05/2012 21:31

Dublin, IME, parents stay with their children until they're about 5. Which suits me fine, as it's a right PITA to be making tea for all of them, as well as supervising hundreds of excitable children.

I think this will continue to be a bugbear for many years! I am normally pretty disorganised, but make a point if replying the same day I receive the invitation, whether DC can attend or not .

Re the party bag, what I would really want to do is kneel down to the child with the inconsiderate, selfish parent and say "Oh, I'm so sorry sweetheart, but as your DM/DD didn't tell me you were coming, I didn't make you a party bag". Bet they'd nag their parents into replying to the next invitation Wink.

PeppermintCreams · 02/05/2012 21:32
butterflyexperience · 02/05/2012 21:37

Also have DD's party this Saturday waiting for 10 replies....

Last year had one cheeky fucker text me the morning of party thay she would be coming late and turned up 1hr 20 mins late to a 2hr party!
I had kept asking her previously if she was coming to get a reply of shrugged shoulders and a 'dont think we are doing anything - ill let you know..'

RUDE!!!

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