To send my child to private school until a non-faith state school can take him?

[Waspie]

Three facts about me ? I?m an atheist, I?m a socialist and I have a 4 year old pfb

On principle I?m against private schools and voluntary aided church state schools. And there is my problem. We didn?t get any of the four preferred schools we selected (our catchment school and three nearest by walking distance). Instead my son has been allocated a CofE VA school. Not only is it a faith school but it has the worst KS2 results in the borough, its Ofsted is the worst I?ve ever read and it?s miles away.

The private prep is a ten minute walk away, has class sizes of less than 15, has glowing Ofsted and ISI reports from last year, doesn?t select academically (just first come first served) and every child achieved level 5 SATS in Maths and English at Yr6 last year.

Obviously we?re on all the waiting lists and will appeal to the two of the four which aren?t ICS appeals (catchment school included).

We can?t really afford private school by the way; we?ll be funding it by selling my car, ebaying anything that might be worth more than 10p, cashing in the ISA and re-mortgaging. I appreciate though that we are lucky to even have prep as an option.

So, am I being unreasonable to consider private prep school for my pfb while we are on the waiting lists?

Oh our CofE school as Sentamu on the front page of the website and a lot of guff about Christian values - it doesn't necessarily compute, though!

This is the most reasonable AIBU I've ever posted on

I'm probably overthinking everything and just need to calm down and take a step back.

Don't feel guilty, Diane Abbott managed to over come her socialist principals and send her kid to a private school.

As Jim would say socialist my arse!!!!

So it's socialism for everyone else but not for your child lol
I'm only teasing but it does tickle me.

I think at the end of the day we all want what's best for our little ones. Parking the religion issue to the side, it sounds like the Cof E school isn't getting the sort of results you would want for your children to get.

I'm consider the private. Suppose where i'm coming from if you can make the investment in the primary years that will set them up for life (and the co-op style prep sounds lovely). I'd ask what their secondary school placements are like. We looked at one prep and they had something like 40% go onto great secondary schools with scholarships.

oops, "I'd consider..."

Yeah agree but you can't call yourself a socialist and send kid to private school though!

I'm also an atheist and a socialist, but in your position I'd take the state school offered and get on the waiting lists for the 4 closer ones, and keep hassling and appealing for a closer school. It often doesn't take as long as people think to get a place (we moved schools twice and had to appeal once, I was quite encouraged really that it was possible).

I also wouldn't want my children to go to a faith school but as others say, all state schools (and many private) do have religions affiliations and acts of worship, and you can teach your dc to shrug it off. A bit of meeting the vicar and a few primary school prayers aren't really that effective. There's nothing like having to go to church services to take the glamour out of religion.

YABU. Loads of people went to C of E primaries and they haven't all come out as fundamentalist loonies. Any religion is really very mild, especially these days.

You could send him to the CofE school and tell him in private that you think all the god stuff is nonsense.

He might be indoctrinated aged 5 but he probably won't be aged 16.

Finocchio yeah, maybe having religion forced on him at school would be the best thing to put him off it for life. worked for me.

Beware labelling yourself as when u grow up and have kids principals go hang.

Of course you can call yourself a socialist and send you children to private school. Tony Blair did.

I think there's a lot of differnece between a school that is denominational in that it tries to keep certain religious traditions but all comers are welcome, and schools that have religious affiliation as part of the entry criteria and purposely limit the numbers of pupils from other faiths.

This seems to be more about you than your son. Changing schools is always stressful.
What happens if he goes to the private school, loves it there and makes friends?
Is he going to be pulled out and sent to another school in the middle of the year and have to start again amongst strangers and with a different curriculum?

Lol novac, yes it's amazing isn't it?

Diane Abbott, played race card

Harriet Harmen played special needs card

Tony blaire well didn't give a stuff

Love hypocritic socialists, state system fantastic,,except for their own kids of course!

You can opt you DC out of certain religious elements at a state school. You have noright to do that at a private school.

You'll also have to pay a term's fees in advance imminently.

If the VA school offered wasn't a poor school, woul you be having this dilemma? I think your socialism isn't what you thought, and even that the atheism is being treated just as additional justification for swerving a school whose academic performance you do ot rate.

How about seeing i there are other state options? You can join the waiting list of schools you did not originally apply to.

I wonder if you would be so against his allocated school if it was an outstanding school and not the worst in the borough.

By all means send him private if you wish but look honestly at your reasons for doing so rather than just saying it is because it is a faith school.

oh crap. If I lose these two principles the only one I will have left is about how very very wrong it is to put pineapple on pizza, and even I can't spend hours on my soapbox about that one!

I suppose I also have to consider DP - he is atheist but not socialist.

Okay, so I can call myself whatever I like and do whatever I like. Fab. Wish I'd realised that years ago [ruefully bitter].

I had managed to get myself to a point where I was okay with the idea of state CofE (non-VA) should one have been allocated but, as wordfactory says a VA school which gets to pick and choose it's children because of their religion is a totally different prospect.

I'm sure you are all right and a church education may put you off religion for life but I just don't like the idea of it.

thebody - yes, my petard has been truely hoist over this.

This issue has made me see that my "faith" is more important to me than my politics, so I guess whatever else happens I have learned something!

(p.s. I'm still voting Labour in the local elections )

Pineapple on pizza is a sin against God, if that's any help.

cantspel - yes even if it was the best in the borough (as some of the other VA schools are) I would still have this problem.

EdithWeston - I'm only allowed to be on 4 waiting lists. So if I drop one of my preferred schools I can go on another waiting list but I'm not sure what good that would do as we'd still be out of catchment and even further away by distance

Sallyingforth - it is absolutely about my son. If I didn't give a toss about him I wouldn't be having this dilemma, I'd just send him to the allocated school and let him get on with it.

For the love of G-d, please don't do the pineapple thing.

I'm fascinated by the way you're justifying private school though. Tell us about the Eton brochure you have hidden in the glove-box of your car.

You can call yourself what ever you like, but you're not a socialist.

This VA school however is not picking and choosing its pupils, it is taking all applicants and accepting those without other places. And CofE schools overall have ethnic diversity profiles and proportions on FSM in line with the national norm, so your concerns about the effects of perceived "picking and choosing" are not bourn out in the actual population it produces. I think this is a concern that can be discarded with no breach of principle.

Oh, and have you assured yourself that the private school has generous bursary provision and operates first come first served admissions? (In which case, why isn't it already full?). Or is it picking and choosing?