Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Mother with earplugs in on school run....

78 replies

MissEPankhurst · 01/05/2012 22:16

I've got to ask as I can't get it out of my mind - am I being unreasonable to be having less than positive glowing thoughts about a mother I saw walking her children to school this morning as I was driving home from work: she was pushing a buggy with a toddler in, and had two school age children with her, aged about 4 and 5. She wasn't talking to any of them, and had ear plugs in from her pocket, suggesting to me she was listening to music. And to make it worse (in my opinion) they were about to cross a busy road where it would surely have been necessary to be able to hear the traffic???
There, it's off my mind, out there in the open and I hope I can stop worrying / wondering about them now...

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 01/05/2012 23:04

I used the iPod from birth when out
sometimes needed a wee break
not hear greetin

scottishmummy · 01/05/2012 23:05

I wanted a fleet of bugaboos to whirl around town
pink to match my eyes

anniedunne · 01/05/2012 23:08

What did you say op...?

stickyj · 01/05/2012 23:13

Sorry but I still think that you should use the time you have with them to talk "at" them. I worked too, I was't a SAHM mum all the time, and I don't think it's laughable. If they're out 8 - 6, then you have little time to chat when they're small, they grow up quick. Soon they're at school and that half an hour in the morning, walking to school is the time they can talk to you. I wasn't judging people, just commenting on how society has changed with regard to children, we used to be much more interactive and now we can swicth off from our most valuable and precious commodity (seems to be how some people view it these days).

TalHotBlond · 01/05/2012 23:13

I wear my headphones when I'm out and about.

If my little ratbags darlings are being a nightmare, I chuck them (not literally of course ) in the pram, plug myself into my iPod and set off at high speed for some exercise and fresh air. Hey presto, sanity restored.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 01/05/2012 23:14

hahaha that actually made me laugh. Talk to my kids?? I do little else chance would be a fine thing
I actually work very hard with my dc. I talk to them loads play with them take them to clubs and groups.
God forbid that just occasionally I would like just 10 minutes to gather my thoughts and get a little peace. Judge much??? [long day emoticon]

piprabbit · 01/05/2012 23:17

Earplugs - genius.
Why didn't I think of that 4 years ago when the whining hit unbearable levels? I still have to interact, even though the conversation is always:
My socks have bumps in, I can't walk.
I have taken my shoes and socks off.
I don't like this coat. It is zipped too high. It is not zipped enough.
I don't like walking.
I don't like going in the car.
My legs hurt.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Carry me home.
Why won't you carry me.
I'm not walking.
Ad infinitum.

stickyj · 01/05/2012 23:18

But the op wasn't talking about a long walk with little 'uns where she might want them to sleep/fresh air etc. It was the school run where she was leaving her kids all day to talk to other people. If she was that stressed then she certainly wouldn't be plugging herself in, (SN excepted) but that's the whole point, they're going to school and off her hands. Assuming she has the longest walk to school ever, say an hour, that's precious time to be with them. Oh and i have four, if anyone thinks I haven't been stressed and crying on the way to school but not talking to them, I don't think so.

stickyj · 01/05/2012 23:20

But that's your job, to sort out the whining!! Ignore them or whatever but to routinely just stick headphones in is actually quite rude I think. Of course kids whine, mine had phobias about sock lines and shoes and | did shout, lots, but walking to school is a time to talk/calm down/stress about PE kit etc etc, NOT to ignore them.

PigeonPie · 01/05/2012 23:22

I agree op and stickj. Much as the inane drivel chatter does get to me some days on the school run, I feel it's very important for me not to be plugged into iPod etc and that the DC deserve my time and attention.

Kayano · 01/05/2012 23:24

Society has changed where mums now use headphones instead of sticking kids outside in their pushchairs for 8 hours a day by themselves

IvanaNap · 01/05/2012 23:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

piprabbit · 01/05/2012 23:30

I do sort out the whining but it is very wearing and I can fully understand why a pleasant 10 minutes of relative peace before going home and caring with/playing with/ listening to your toddler (and sorting out more whining) would be a welcome respite.

CardyMow · 01/05/2012 23:32

I listen to my ipod on the school run. I have one earphone in, one out, so I can switch off and listen to the music when the dc are going on about Marvel Hero Attax cards YET AGAIN wittering total rubbish, but can still hear enough to know if someone has chopped their finger off / left their PE bag on the bus / forgotten their VERY IMPORTANT LETTER THAT MUST BE IN TODAY DS1 (Don't ask...) / hear if the baby is crying / hear the cars when we cross the road.

stickyj · 01/05/2012 23:33

But all your kids deserve the same attention. I think it was back in the 60's that parents put their kids outside, I'm not that old! That's the pattern, kids grow up and go to school so they get the attention on the way there and the way back. Littler kids get you all day, so now it's time for older sibs to talk to mum/dad/whoever!

stickyj · 01/05/2012 23:35

But why aren't you listening to/talking to your kids!! Surely you can listen to music when they're asleep and you're working/cleaning/shopping/whatever!! If I did drive to school 'cos I needed to be somewhere then at least if the radio was on I could still hear them or we listened to (OMG that was painful) kids' stuff!

IAmBooyhoo · 01/05/2012 23:36

so OP you saw, what, 30 seconds? of someone walking with earphones in and that tells you what exactly?

it tells you this: that for the 30 seconds you saw that woman today, she had earphones in. nothing more than that. anything you assume from what yo saw is just guesswork. you have no clue at all why she had them in, how long she had them in for, if she was even listening to anything, if this is a regular occurrence. you know NOTHING other than what you saw which is a woman wearing earphones for 30 seconds.

TheDetective · 01/05/2012 23:39

SHIT! Stop the press. You have just made me realise I am a shit parent. Ohmygod, please take him off me!

I drive my DS to school. We don't talk for the entire 20 minute journey. We are not morning people. And I'm busy concentrating on the road while picking sleep out of my eye.

We do have the music on though. Is it ok if mummy isn't being a selfish cow and just listening to it herself?

We barely talk on the drive home either. But that is because he was taught well. You don't talk to the adult driving. I passed my driving test when he was 2. New driver with 2 year old - the no talking rule was instilled sharpish!

bjf1 · 02/05/2012 00:01

I do the school run wearing earphones.
I NEED to hear R4 in the morning or I can't function.
If it's a choice between John Humphries strongly debating or my DCs whinnig for no reason whatsoever, then JH wins.

halcyondays · 02/05/2012 09:14

If you have the volume is low you can still hear people. I've been known to walk with child in buggy, listening to music. I talk to my children and listen to them, but I have never spent 24 hours a day constantly talking to them and they have both ahead great speech from a young age.

halcyondays · 02/05/2012 09:18

If she was picking them up from school, she may well have had the rest of the day to talk to them. A lot of the time when we pick dd2 up from school, she and dd2 just play/talk together and ignore me anyway, apart from to hand my dandelions for their "collection"

ChopstheScarletduck · 02/05/2012 09:20

I don't wear headphones on the school run.

I had to listen to my 7 year olds play Grand Theft Auto on the way to school, One was Roman, one was Niko, I was Michelle, and the Citroen was a Ferrari.

I need to get some headphones. And stop ds1 playing GTA when the dts are around!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 02/05/2012 09:20

I wish I had an iThingy of some kind so I could put the earplugs in! My three talk to bicker/hit/whine at/grass on for nothing each other all the way to and from school. A nice half hour of the classics Scandinavian death metal would do wonders for my wellbeing sanity and/or temper

NoVeggiesBeforeEggies · 02/05/2012 09:23

Ooh earplugs are a fab idea.
I hadn't ever thought of using them, but walking DS to school on his whiny days would be so much easier!

YABU here...."And to make it worse (in my opinion) they were about to cross a busy road where it would surely have been necessary to be able to hear the traffic???"

My DSis is profoundly deaf and manages to get 2 children across the road.
She's got quite a novel way of doing it actually. Looks both ways first.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/05/2012 09:23

Hoik your judgy pants up a bit further and then maybe someone will accuse you of covering your ears

I really would concentrate on the road a bit more when driving or we may see a thread about you.

Flip

1 2 3 4