to feel so frazzled ?

[ginger19]

DH Works full time.I am SAHM.5 year old DS 1 year old DD.
I cant seem to keep on top of any thing. The house is always messy.My bed room looks like it belongs to a teenager. Odd sock bag over flowing, piles of laundry.Frankly finding it all grating.( I also dress really badly, sort of wearing the first jogging bottoms I can find)

My stress levels are high and I do not feel like I cope well.
How do you all do it?????

I am not joking.By bed time I am mostly foul mood and genuinely exhausted.

Small child and baby combo. People feel sorry for people with twins but I swear this is harder. You are not alone but you are probably in the hardest part. It gets easier. I'm guessing your eldest is at full time school now so start organising your days. Different tasks each day. There is a current thread on here of 'Tips To Keep You Organised' that will probably help.

Get out of the house with the little one. There must be Mum & Tot groups around? They are less hard work when they have others to interact with and you will get to let off steam. Good luck.

Ditto. The trick is not to care.

Aw. I am bad too. I find that staying up late makes me worse...which I do because I want time wthout the DC! I have been going to bed early and have managed things better....what time do you go to bed?

11.00 ish.
I do go to baby groups and agree they help. I took DS to karate today.IT IS ON WEDNESDAY.

can you tidy up when dd naps or has she dropped her nap?
I used to leave mine sleeping in the pushchair afetr a walk in the mornign so I coukld wash up breakfast things and get dinner ready

Getting dinner ready before he comes home from school could be good.

God I am so with you. I have 3 DS's- 4, 2 and 6 months. DH works full time and I am a SAHM. Frazzled is not the word. Sometimes I am so tired I want to cry. House always looks like a bombs gone off in it, even though I feel like I spend every spare second cleaning and tidying etc. Love my boys with all my heart but by god it's hard work sometimes! I am blessed with good sleepers though so DH and I can collapse into crumpled heaps after they're all asleep. Keep telling myself it must get easier eventually!

you're not the only one if it makes you feel any better i am frazzled and stressed out most the time too!

Make some time for you, at the weekend maybe?

As for all the household detritus, make a rough plan for the week and target a room a day as well as a quick whip round everywhere else. Your 5 yr old can help with the tidying, sorting and putting away too.

Do things in 15 minute bursts, and have a rest afterwards.

It's VERY hard with a one year old....it WILL get easier...1 is a baby still. They need you a lot. Just shovel the worst bits under the sofa and remember that the last thing people think on their deathbed is "Oh I wish I'd been a better housekeeper!"

They DO sometimes think "I wish I''d played with my kids more." though.

I really do sympathise, I have children the same age and I feel like a hamster in one of the balls- never physically able to stop and constantly crashing in to stuff that has been left in the way!

My nearly 5 year old has only slept through the night about 30 times his whole life so I never wake refreshed the next day!

My 1 year old is a tearaway toddler- she throws everything down the loo or in the bath, pulls everything off shelves, out of cupboards. Her new thing is climbing a mini rocking chair and actually jumping of it - she is 13 months!! she is very cute with it but still

I therefore think there is absolutely no point in tidying. I think you have to get out in order to remain sane. Sorry this is the only advice I can offer!

@ Goldenbear. DS2 is 1 (nearly 13 months) and he puts everything in the toilet too including his hands if he can . Our house is always untidy lived in looking and now I'm back at work 3.5 days a week it has only got worse as I never have time to really get on top of things in the week. Know exactly what you mean about getting out, my days off are spent going to the park or toddler group to let DS let steam off. Weekends are a frazzled frenzy of us both trying to get things done and spend time with the kids and each other on rare occasions. Baffled by people who have immaculate houses and young DC. It will get better though, won't it?

If you pick everything up off the floor, throw toys in a box and crap in a bin bag, then hoover, it will take 20 minutes absolute tops, on the worst day. Your living room though will look completely different, as if you spent hours on it. Other than that, clean the toilet with those disposable wipe thingies, ditto anything in the kitchen with mould growing on it, and forget the rest until the babies leave home.
Recycle laundry, wear it, wash it, dry it, wear it. Forget the ironing and putting away crap, that's for people with no lives and/or loads of money and/or minions

I'm in a similar position, one at school, two at home. When they hit 2 yo they are going in a playgroup for 2/3 mornings a week. I'm counting down the days... Would you be able to do something similar? I'm doing it as I think mixing with other children and doing more things than at home is good for them and it will give me some breathing space.

My stress levels get high, along with forgetfulness. Try to get some time for yourself, even if its just a long bath with a book, some wine and a choc bar.

YANBU well I hope not as I feel the same. I've got 2 DC aged 2 and 4. I'm a single parent and not working at the moment. The house is a tip, I look a mess, I feel so disorganised and knackered. I hate it but just can't quite get my arse in gear and get on top of things. Sigh ...

YANBU. I am totally frazzled permently at that was before this pregnancy.

I feel like that with one 5 month old baby, I'm completely in awe of people with more children!

frazzled is my middle name. it will get better though

YANBU

I am the same. My 2 DDs are messy, my DH is messy, my 3 year old DS is messy and needs constant supervision or he makes more mess and chaos. It's a trade off; if I want one room to be clean and tidy I have to be prepared for the fact that DS will trash another room whilst I do it! DH leaves stuff everywhere; all over the dining table, the floor, sofa, chairs, etc etc and then moans at me when the house isnt up to showroom standard.

DrCoconut, yes my DD loves dipping her hands in to! I've only recently had the 'have to get out of here' strategy(???) as I was coming straight home from the school run and cleaning all day. It was a bit half arsed as was/am very sleep deprived and couldn't get the motivation going to do a quick job of it all.

Since my DD has started walking and the weather has improved I think it is unfair on her to just be 'cleaner' so I go straight out after I have dropped off my DS at school now. Somehow the fresh air makes me more efficient when I return home about lunch time. That and lots of fresh, strong coffee!

YANBU
My advice: before you go to bed tonight, pick out a nice-ish outfit for tomorrow. When you get up, put on some nice underwear, your planned outfit and if nothing else wear perfume and a bit of lippy.

Its amazing the difference it makes.

Even if you put your joggers on as soon as you get back from the school run, the other mums will notice and you'll notice that they've noticed!!!

Its amazing how much better you'll feel. After that its a case of choosing your battles.

Cook dinner or sort out odd socks?
Play will dc or sort out odd socks?
Maybe you can just throw those odd socks away????

I suspect that all those women out there that make us think they've got it all under control are hiding something (I reckon they all shave their faces or something)

PS. My bedroom's a shit-tip too lol

I did have one friend with a very tidy and organised place. She later confessed to having a "junk room" upstairs. Everything that couldn't be homed without looking untidy or cluttered went in there! Ditto laundry waiting to be sorted, crap that the DC had dropped that needed sorting etc. She said that at least having an air of order and calm was key to her coping. And her life was cat bum free as her family and friends marvelled at what a domestic goddess she was. Sadly we have no spare room.

I have DSs, 3.9 and 13 months, and I am just the same.
My youngest doesn't sleep all that well either!

DS1 starts school in September, and while I will miss him being around I do hope that my days will get a little easier!

I'm thinking of changing my first name to frazzled. I have one son 26 months old & am 20 weeks pregnant. I work 2.5 days a week & look after son the rest of the time. My husband is renovating our future home so not about much at weekends. Son goes to grandparents Sunday afternoons but that normally results in me rushing around trying to get house in some semblance of order. I honestly can't remember the last time I vacuumed. . My house normally looks like a bomb has hit it & I just get overwhelmed by how much needs to be done. Some weeks I can't wait to go to work to escape it all. Some days I can shrug it off, others I get crippled by how badly I feel I'm coping.
It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this, thank goodness for MN!

I second the idea of throwing those odd socks away! I put all odd socks on top of the tumble drier as they come out. If they're not paired up in a week or so then I assume their partner has gone AWOL and they go in the bin. They stress me out too much just sitting there for weeks on end!