Should childminders/nannies have friends over when at work?

[Booboostoo]

Apologies if this has been done to death and everyone is suffering from nanny question overload but DP and I were having an argument a discussion and I need the MN jury to say I am right decide.

So...if you had a nanny who worked 9 to 5 would you be happy for her/him to have friends over or go visit her/his friends with your children? Or should work time be separate from socialising time? Would it make a difference if it was an activity your children could share in, e.g. nanny/toddler group?

Would it make any difference if it was a childminder rather than a nanny?

Social visits which involve other children ie playdates OK. Nanny socialising with their friends not OK.

I used to visit a friend when she was working as a nanny. I would take my 1 year old with me and the children would play together. Equally I know another nanny who would get stoned with friends on a regular basis when she was working. I would make it a rule that no-one is allowed into my house who I had not met myself, and was happy with them being there, and being happy that the person being there would be beneficial to my child. After all the nanny is at work.

i would be happy if the children were happy.

so if the friends had children they could play with, or a giant garden or something and were happy there that would b e fine

my idea of good childcare is that which is as close as possible to me looking after them. and sometimes i go and visit friends... so i would have no issue with a nanny doing it

ok, i might have a problem if it was every day and there was nothing for the chikldren to do... but just now and then, no i wouldn't have an issue with it at all

When I used a childminder, she treated my daughter like one of her own. So yes, she would have friends round or go out to meet them. But likewise she also included my daughter in family stuff, such as keeping her late so they could all go to see the Christmas lights together and inviting her to Saturday afternoon birthday parties. Ultimately, for me, if my child was well cared for, safe and happy, I didn't really care about the rest. I trusted her.

nanny + nanny is fine

is she's off to an all day afterparty with them in tow, not OK

I think that this is a general trust issue, rather than them having friends around per se. Sounds like you've got a nanny/CM you have other issues with ...

Our nanny has made friends with other carers at playgroups and sometimes takes DS2 to theirs. If she wants to invite a carer and child over here, she asks first as I work from home a lot of the time.

I am a childminder and I often have my friend, who is also a childminder, over for play dates, as well as my sister and young niece. When I started minding friends would pop round but they soon left when they could see I was busy with the mindees and not giving them (the adults) much attention.

The mindees are never left alone in a room with anyone, I am always there supervising. It is a home environment that parents choose for childcare so people do call from time to time. Having said that a cousin I hadn't seen for years was passing through the area with her grown up family (six adults) and the knocked on the door and shouted surprise. I was indeed surprised but I explained I was working and had three little ones present so could they call back later. They didn't and they were offended but I didn't think that many adults was appropriate.

Regarding a nanny it is your house so your rules.

Our nanny is like a member of the family and we trust her conpletely with our dd while she is working. This extends to trusting her to only invite suitable people into our home. She occasionally has friends over, mostly those with kids of a similar age to dd. Sometimes she has her grandson or her daughter here. I don't mind. Do you trust her to make sensible decisions? That's all it comes down to. If not, she shouldn't be your nanny.

I used to visit my friend who was is a child minder I would need to arrange it though and i would go when her little ones went for a nap or at nursery and i would walk with her to get the child , I am sure she had arrangements okayd by the parents , she saw it as her break and she could have friends over ,

I absolutely endorse everything jelly15 says!!

I am a cm and that's how I work, trust me my friends with older kids or without kids avoid me like the plague during working day.

I think if you have a cm, it's okay because she is working in her own home, so has a right to invite over whoever she likes (so long as they are not unsuitable to be around children and so long as the cm doesn't leave the child alone with another adult).

A nanny works in your home, so shouldn't be socialising during the day unless it's with people who also have children that your dc will play with.

Thanks guys!

No we have no issues at all with our nanny, this was a bit of a theoretical question as DP and I both work from home so we're around all the time anyway and have a good and trusting relationship with her (she is wonderful!). It was sparked by a friend of her's who popped by today (we also know him but in passing) and I was a bit surprised to see him but then again so was she. That got me and DP talking, I thought that on the whole I wouldn't mind a childcarer having their friends over (within reason), while DP thought that if you are work you work and socialising is not appropriate.

I should maybe say that we live in the south of France and it's far more usual for people to just pop by without warning than in the UK.

My childminder has family over a lot but I've never really bothered because the children become part of the family.

My friend who is a childminder, used to have me over because my son went to nursery with 2 of her mindee's so it was a playdate for our daughters and my son got to see his nursery friends, because their parents worked full time.

My dd2 was " adopted" by her cm family and friends ! All part of being in a family care environment - I guess helped by the fact she was an " only" mindee.
Meant she was sad when cm mum " grannie x" died and excited when the cm grand kids started arriving ( she was there for after school care by then". All good experiences of normal life.