Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be happy my friend is dating married man!

4 replies

glittertree · 01/05/2012 13:28

My friends partner left her this year for someone who was a friend of ours she was totally devastated and heartbroken..through all of this I made sure I was always there for her to talk to at any time of the day because I knew she was struggling...
Fast forward a few months later and she starts dating again at first I was pleased because I thought it would just be what she needed to move on...
The first man she met she announced that she had fell for him really big this was after a week !
I just thought it was sweet that she liked him so much however he never was really that intrested in her so it fizzled out...
I helped her pick up the peices again by making sure I was always there with a friendly ear but suggested perhaps she should wait a little while and just concentrate on the kids etc..
Fast forward a few weeks and she tells me she has met someone and its love this is after a week ? she met this man on a dating site and its true love even though they havent met face to face ...not wanting to be the big bad wolf I just kept my mouth shut because she sounded happy even though I did think its hard to love someone you have never even met...but hey ho sometimes these things work!
After listening to her gush about him a few days later she has told me he is married and that he has lived with his wife for years but they dont love each other!! and just live as friends also they never have sex and never even kiss he also told her that he sleeps in another room!!!
hmm alarm bells are ringing she brezzily said well I looked at his fb page and there are hardly any pics of them as a couple so it must be true...I feel really uneasy about this because her partner cheated on her and she was left devastated she knows how it feels I also took her side over it and fell out with the other woman involved because I couldnt believe she could be so cruel to another woman and take her partner....
now I feel pissed off because of the morals of the whole thing and I have tried to say to her that this sounds to me as if he is lying .... and very classic .
I checked out his fb page and there are pictures of him and his wife and children looking like any other happy family ...
she cant seem to see the irony in all this and I dont want to fall out with her but I feel uncomfortable with the whole thing and see it all ending up a big mess with me having to listen to it all.... AIBU should I just keep my opinion to myself? I am married and keep thinking about how I would feel if it was me ...its also making me see her in a differant light!!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/05/2012 14:35

YANBU to be unhappy. You're allowed one go at saying 'you're making a mistake' but then I think you have to let your friend get on and find that out for herself. Everyone in the situation is an adult.

Debsbear · 01/05/2012 14:39

Tell her that if he really lives a separate life from his wife he will be more than happy for his wife to tell her so. Remind her of how she felt when her partner cheated and then I'm afraid you will have to make a decision. Either you need to walk away from her or live with her decisions. You cannot keep nagging her about it.

Adversecamber · 01/05/2012 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

osterleymama · 01/05/2012 15:57

I ditched a friend for this. I think it's wilful cruelty and I couldn't look at her anymore without wanting to shake some sense/kindness/basic decency into her. I would tell her you think this is wrong and you want no part in it so if she insists on doing this with him then she should not expect you to listen.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread