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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not collect dd from school?

36 replies

ElizabethPonsonby · 01/05/2012 11:18

Just had a call from dd's school. She's in reception. Her teacher called to say she had complained of an upset stomach (runny bum) and that dd said she knew I was WFH today....she was fine before school.

Now last Tuesday I picked her up after an hour at school for exactly the same reason, I was on leave as I had to go to hospital in the afternoon for an anti-d jab (she knew this). She was fine for the rest of the day, no upset tum, eating fine, full of beans etc.

She did this before Christmas as well.

So, AIBU to say keep her in school for now, and if she does get worse then I will come and get her later? I feel a bit mean :( but if she is trying to pull a fast one then I need to nip it in the bud....

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 11:20

You need to collect her as the school have rung you.

Debsbear · 01/05/2012 11:20

Whether you pick her up now or not, I think you need to have a good chat with her (and her teacher) about whether there is some reason why she doesn't want to go to/ stay in school. (I'd probably either leave her there or use the opportunity for a chat)

dexter73 · 01/05/2012 11:22

Does she only do it when you are at home?

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 11:22

Might she be feeling worried about you having a hospital appt?

Collect her this time and then IF she's ok this afternoon then have a word with the school about it so if it happens again then they can hang on to her a bit longer.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 11:22

Don't tell her the days you will be at home is the obvious answer Wink

Glitterknickaz · 01/05/2012 11:22

I'd point out to the school how this has happened twice before and she's been fine.... so it's becoming a pattern.

But yes would collect this time.

Original poster
ElizabethPonsonby · 01/05/2012 11:23

Her teacher was fine with me not collecting her btw, I think she was suspicious too. Last week it was the office that called and said to pick her up. This time it was more of a 'what do you think' chat with her teacher....

OP posts:
GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 01/05/2012 11:24

What valium said.
But if they've called they may not be willing for you to leave her there.
Just make her go to bed when she gets in if she's 'ill'.

MissFaversham · 01/05/2012 11:25

Yep, I'd have made her stay at school too OP.

A chat's in order to find out about the mystery illness.

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 01/05/2012 11:25

Ah if teachers on side, make her stay if you know she just want to come home because you're there.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 11:26

Bed as soon as she gets home, no telly and no coming downstairs if you genuinely think she is trying it on.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 01/05/2012 11:26

YANBU _ I would tell them to leave her and call you if she gets worse. I've done this before...my DS hates going to school if he knows his dad is home!

Morloth · 01/05/2012 11:29

If you are too sick for school here then you are too sick to do anything other than rest in bed.

Sounds like she is messing about, but it is sods law that if you call her bluff, this will be the time she really is ill...

2shoes · 01/05/2012 11:29

yabu
you should pick her up
isn't this one of the things you have to keep them of for 48 hours for?

OddBoots · 01/05/2012 11:30

If the teacher is fine with it then yanbu.

I've made many calls to parents about illness and possible illness with their child, if their child absolutely has to go home then my call would be asking them to collect but sometimes it is not entirely clear and in those cases the call is to let the parent know the facts and allow them the option.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 11:31

You don't have to collect her unless the school insists upon it.

Having said that, you should at least go to her...see how she is and then make up your mind whether to take her home or not.

I did this when my DS was in year 1 and it finally put a stop to him trying to get himself sent home.

Original poster
ElizabethPonsonby · 01/05/2012 11:36

If she does actually have an upset stomach yes, I should keep her at home obviously. But she knows upset tum usually = stay at home. She's not throwing up, just said she had a runny bum, but no-one has seen the evidence IYSWIM? Same as last week....

The one before Christmas was when my parents were due to pick up (which they did, early, and again, she was full of beans....)

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 11:43

Is it PE on Tuesdays? or something else she might not like? Poor thing. I remember doing that on PE days.

Original poster
ElizabethPonsonby · 01/05/2012 11:46

No PE is Fridays, can't think of anything going on on tues that she doesn't like.

OP posts:
CoffeeDog · 01/05/2012 11:46

My DD use to do this, she liked the attention she got from the ladies in the office.... she suddely became very poorly on her sports day at the school called me to come and get her again.... I did then started telling her in the car that she should stop making it up all the time ..... she projectile vomited all over my car.

Sometimes they ARE sick ....... it will be the time you dont go and get her

CremeEggThief · 01/05/2012 11:54

I think you should pick her up just in case, but put her straight to bed for the day and only allow her the type of plain food you eat when you're ill. I did this when I had a similar call when DS was in Year 1 and it hasn't happened since (he's in Year 4 now).

bigTillyMint · 01/05/2012 11:59

I had a bit of this with DS when he was little. He even pretended to faint one time (and another child thought he was deadGrin)

Thankfully he had a very down-to-earth teacher who agreed that he was trying it on.

However, she could truly be feeling ill.

The rule in our house is that if you are ill enough to be off, you are in bed on your own. No TV or other gadgets.

None of us are off sickSmile

BumpingFuglies · 01/05/2012 12:00

Of course you should pick her up! It may not be a stomach upset but something is troubling her. Best to find out what it is.

OldGreyWiffleTest · 01/05/2012 12:03

May be collect her. Then bed, no food, no tv, no anything. Just sips of water. That should cure a runny bum!

Eggrules · 01/05/2012 12:04

If DS is ill then we have a no TV rule and things are not as fun. If she does come home early I suggest you tell her to read in bed/sit and play quietly/ etc - not as a punishment but to recuperate.

I'm with bigTillyMint .