to not want to know what pippa middleton's arse might say if it could speak?

[fullofregrets]

Two page spread in daily mail (sorry, read it at my mum's) about what pippa middleton's arse might say if it could speak. Speech bubbles and everything. Think it was a slow news day? Is it wrong that I filled in each speech bubble mentally with something rude?

I wonder what other famous people's arses would say.

We have the Daily Mail at work. I've learned they are obsessed with her bum. It is unnerving.

I missed seeing the spread with speech bubbles, I am lost for words.

Yes, I am that someone has been paid for coming up with the idea.

It would say 'Stop looking at me and get a bloody life'.

Did none of the speech bubbles say 'toot', or 'kwack' or 'phhssst'?

Sounds like the DM is only telling half the story again.

Her (flat) bum would say "Pippa dear, you have got to stop wearing all that black eyeliner ".

In my head they said 'parp!'

In the dm they said stuff like 'I'm plotting world domination darling.'

Tbh I thought she has a fat arse and a spade face.

Kate much prettier but over all i I couldn't give a fuck.

Initially I thought Pippa was mixed race and thought the Windsors were being very liberal in having in laws of mixed heritages.

Apparently she's not though. The arse thing is ridiculous, she doesn't even have much of an arse from what I can see. I realise by making that comment I become part of the relentless commentary on her bum.

I will stop now.

Over all, I couldn't give a fuck either, but I don't really get the PM arse thing. I have seen much nicer, much peachier bottoms elsewhere.

Why all the fuss?

Does Pippa Middleton's life have a point anywhere? I mean outside of being Kate's sister and spraying herself orange?

Does she work?

If you don't want to read things that are printed in a particular newspaper you know the answer - don't pick up that newspaper.

YABU to complain, really.

Her arse is her lifes work obviously.

Her arse is probably looking at the Daily Mail and thinking "well I wouldn't even wipe my arse with that so called newspaper"....

Ah but how was I to know it would contain a two page spread about pippa's arse?
Although it was one of the better features.
Actually it has quite amused me, I think it is the speech bubbles. At first glance I thought it was meant to be what pippa was saying but at closer inspection I realised it was definitely her arse.
A new interpretation of speaking out of one's arse.

I guess it could have been worse. Imagine how much kim kardashian's arse could say .... imagines really big speech bubble

Funnily, I think that Pippa looks like a younger version of Arabella 'Does my bum look big in this?' Weir.

But she does have a face that looks like its been hit with a shovel though. Tbh I think their mother is hotter.

Is there a link to this? I can't believe that is actually a real article until I see the link

Pippa does the editorial for the Middleton's Party Pieces catalogue. It is full of grammatical mistakes .

I don't know if it is online, it was in the actual paper. Have just shown DH and we laughed at it again.
Apparently, according to several of the speech bubbles her arse can speak French: 'ne touchez pas!' 'Je suis un superstar!'
That is one talented bottom.

Oh god, have just realised the captions under the photos are also meant to be the arse commenting on the pictures:
'I'd had a long night of shimmying but I made sure I still looked peachy and perky the morning after.'

Fat arse thebody?! It is non existent! I don't understand the fuss either. She is a pretty girl with a niceish figure but nothing to write home about.

Although I'm afraid I brought a copy specifically to show DH...

Oh god. [Needs help emoticon]

Needles< goes off to DM online to try to find this madness and see it with her own eyes.

Let's face it, she's no Kylie is she??