Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

kids not invited to family birthday party

12 replies

doormat · 30/04/2012 13:00

am not going to namechange as i dont give a monkey's minge who knows but plz bear with me

before ds2 passed away there were parties at my home at least once a month, for around 10 yrs...dh =dickhead insisted on inviting every member of his family, including nieces, nephs prospective spouses and their kids plus every other family member going...these were essentially piss ups where i had to cook a mountain of food/ clean up after etc etc...my family were invited but as they were teetotal they hardly came...

the parties all stopped when ds 2 passed away as we both didnt want to head into a bottle and not come out so we both gave up drinking...

since then we have been invited to parties, where we do attend but we are teetotal

looked on dick heads fb last nite as he had a msg (i do his games for him)
there was a msg off his niece asking bout bouncy castle for her ds birthday

i mentioned it to dick head as i knew niece's ds birthday was coming up and asked when it was, so we could take our grandaughters who are same age as her ds

dickhead said "oh it was yesterday"

i mentioned that we had 2 gd on that day, his reply was "only kids same age"
i replied they are the same age

dickhead replied "oh i dont know "

AIBU to not expect but would of been nice to have had an invite for our gd's, its not like they dont see them as they all get together at mil at least once a week

i am really upset at dh lacsidaisical attitude over this....he does this all the time when it comes to his side of the family..they can do no wrong...yet he expects his whole family to be invited to the opening of an envelope

annoyed is not the word

OP posts:
knowitallstrikesagain · 30/04/2012 13:05

YABU to still care. Let dh get on with it wrt his side and you do what you can for your side. But these things may not always match up.

It sounds like you have had a really tough time and the tendency is to take things personally when you are down, but do something else nice with gds and forget about it.

Groovee · 30/04/2012 13:05

It would have been nice but just because you're family doesn't mean you always need an invite.

doormat · 30/04/2012 13:05

anyone or am i crank

OP posts:
doormat · 30/04/2012 13:07

i gather what you are saying, maybe AIBU...but its not that i care its the fact that, when we had parties..sometimes i didnt want to invite all and sundry...sometimes i wanted just a little group but dick head always insisted on inviting every fecker..so we werent being seen as rude...

this is what has upset me more..because i know for a fact he wont say a gipping word

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 30/04/2012 13:10

Depends on who else went I guess, other family members or perhaps it was just school friends. TBH my DH would not know details of anything like that.

Pandemoniaa · 30/04/2012 13:11

I can see why you are feeling sensitive about this. The problem is (and while I think YABU) is that your husband's habit of inviting all and sundry isn't one that you can expect everyone else to buy into. What was right for you may not suit others in the extended family.

Pandemoniaa · 30/04/2012 13:12

Gah! That should read "why I think YABU", not while.

knowitallstrikesagain · 30/04/2012 13:18

It sounds like you didn't always want everyone there, but your DH did and he won the argument.

Maybe this time the 'you' in the host relationship won the argument?

coppertop · 30/04/2012 13:27

I think I would've been annoyed too.

Ten years of hosting parties for your dh's family because he insisted on everyone being invited, yet he couldn't be bothered to consider his own grandchildren when it came to a family party elsewhere.

YANBU.

Sorry to hear about ds2. :(

doormat · 30/04/2012 13:34

thx ev1.. exactly coppertop..it was the constant barrage of family members on our home, every mth... and knowitall ..no i didnt want everyone there every single time....

dickhead and i used to argue about it every mth as i asked for it to be slimmed down as the cleaning up was getting too much... 2 floors of it as we had a bar in the basement wiv pool table plus ground floor where kitchen diner..fron room were heavily poplulated...

dickhead never tidied it up, it was always left to me..but that isnt the issue really..the issue is dickhead insisted every soingle time so NOT TO LEAVE ANYONE OUT...yet he is a wanker with no guts when it comes to his grandaughters... btw other family members with kids same age were all invited

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 30/04/2012 14:51

I don't think the fact your husband insisted on inviting all and sundry to your house for a decade means that his family have to do the same Confused

You said yourself it was a lot of work; are you suggesting that because you put up with it for so long, so should your neice?

Obviously your husband has pissed you off somewhere along the line; I find it hard to believe this is all about one child's birthday party.

doormat · 30/04/2012 15:40

jenai my husband is always pissing me off..thatis a known factGrin

seriously though he has upset me abit as he is very anti leaving anyone out...and i cant understand why he hasnt or wont say anything...

have asked him, he tells me to shut upAngry

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page