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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move from this hell hole

17 replies

constantlytired · 29/04/2012 12:59

Background : Had a really bad experience with noisy neighbours which lasted about 4 years. The walls were really quite thin, and they played loud music all the time, would slam doors so loudly that we had pictures come off the wall and were generally PITA.

After my nerves were getting to breaking point, we moved about 6 years ago into an old style terraced house which had decent brick walls and asked specifically about neighbours, who were apparently a respectable couple with teenage family.

We moved and all was fine and quiet for about a year, at which point the same family next door suddenly started getting their windows smashed, their car was smashed, police arrested the guy and he was put in jail for threatening his wife. He eventually got out and the wife moved out with kids, so just him left. Cue parties, late night banging, police visits, etc. He eventually sold house, and it is now being sub-let.

New tenants are vile. The noise is horrific, either with parties or kids running wild, more police visits, they tried to set fire to our kids play house in our garden by putting their cigarettes out on its roof during a late night party, we're constantly having to move kids out of their rooms at night as they can't sleep from parties spilling out into garden. This family are apparently 'known' in this area, so we've been advised not to confront.

AIBU to want to move to another area (to a detached house so no more fears of bad neighbours) in this economic environment? My DH and i both work, but i'm scared as mortgage payments would obviously increase, which we could afford just now, but who knows what the future holds. TBH though, don't know how much more my nerves can take, and i don't want my DC to grow up in this kind of environment. (sorry for ramble)

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 29/04/2012 13:02

Why on earth would it be unreasonable to move to somewhere quieter? you sound like your nerves are shattered by all this, and since you can afford it, move. It will be worth it just to be able to go to bed and sleep in peace.

MarySA · 29/04/2012 13:06

YANBU. And 6 years is quite a while. I lived into what turned out to be not that great an area when we first got married. It took 5 years of nagging to get DH to move. Moving was the best thing we ever did. As long as you don't really totally overstretch yourself with mortgage payments.

BeaOnSea · 29/04/2012 13:08

Having experienced what you are going through - I would seriously consider moving.

My mother had a nervous breakdown due to neighbours like yours. Do not underestimate the effect it is having on your health.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 29/04/2012 13:11

Move if you can.

We have crappy neighbors - we are semi detached and it the neighbors we are not connected to. They are no where near as bad as yours but the constant underlying worry and stress is really annoying and I suspect not good for my health.

I think my DC are unaware - its not really aimed at them and not being connected to their house means nose is only really an issue in summer when its to hot to not have the back windows or any closed and neighbors are in garden making noise very late.

Springsister · 29/04/2012 14:20

Move. We had crap neighbours for 7 yrs. Best thing we ever did was move away.

Olympia2012 · 29/04/2012 14:23

I'd say move too! Sounds horrible

hotheels · 29/04/2012 14:27

We went through the same thing as you op for around a year (private rented) letting agency were useless, we were desperate. We went detached and it was the best thing we ever did. If you can afford it my advice would be to go ahead.

Lunabelly · 29/04/2012 14:41

Move. Evil neighbours are very bad for decent people's health. You have my full sympathies, OP.

As an aside, if the family are known, why are they allowed to get away with ruining people's lives like this? Why aren't laws put into use so they are taken out of circulation?

constantlytired · 29/04/2012 15:18

Thanks everyone...i was feeling bad (indulgent?) in wanting to move to detached, but i agree, i think this is really starting to affect my health. Even when they're not having parties, i live in constant fear of when the next one will be. Its just the worry that, if either myself or DH are made unemployed, we could just about manage the payments for this house, but if we were to move to a larger mortgage, that wouldn't be possible. But i suppose that's the case for a large amount of people, and no point in holding back thinking about the 'what if's' in life.

Lunabelly, i have no idea. I've spoke with the council, and they just tell me to keep a diary, but they didn't appear particularly interested, and the whole process of getting rid could take years. I just don't have it in me to wait that long Sad. I just can't understand their behaviour, honestly, it's as if they're feral. (apologies if that makes me appear judgemental)

OP posts:
FeakAndWeeble · 29/04/2012 15:21

We've had eerily similar experiences to you. We sold our mid-terrace 2 years ago and moved to a detatched. Money is definitely tighter (if we'd stayed where we were I could have been a SAHM for a few years rather than going back to work when DS was 6 months) but the quality of life means that it is so worth it. The effect my bad neighbour/s had on me and on mine and DHs relationship was awful.

constantlytired · 29/04/2012 18:32

OK, i've taken the first steps...i contacted 3 estate agents online to advise that i want to sell, hopefully they'll call back tomorrow and i can start the process. I've even seen a house that would be ideal and am arranging a viewing, although don't think i'll be in position to do anything about it as my house isn't even on the market yet.....but its a start i suppose. Grin

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 29/04/2012 18:37

Sorry to add to your worries, but when selling your house you will have to declare the noisy neighbours during the buying solicitor's searches. This will make it difficult to sell the house and/or reduce its value.
I think you should start the process with the council.

xkittyx · 29/04/2012 18:41

If you've never complained officially or confronted them I don't think you will have to mention it. Noise is considered a subjective issue as long as no official action has been taken.

FeakAndWeeble · 29/04/2012 19:04

xkittyx is right. You don't have to mention anything about the neighbours at all so long as complaints you've made haven't been official (i.e. to police or council. Landlords don't count).

constantlytired · 29/04/2012 19:26

I have spoke with the council, but did not make an official complaint as the woman did not make it seem as if it was worth my while....and i have definitely NOT confronted them, i don't want to place my family in the dangerous position of any retribution, which i would not put past them.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 29/04/2012 19:34

Well done for taking the first steps, OP. I think you have endured this situation for long enough and I wish you the best of luck with a quick sale.

FeakAndWeeble · 29/04/2012 19:39

No worries then OP. Yay for moving!

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