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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at this comment even if it has nothing to do with me?

32 replies

mythical · 29/04/2012 10:16

Of of my friends is a week overdue with her first.
She's obviously getting all the "WHERE's baby" comments.. Fair enough!
Just seen a conversation from last night on her Facebook page that went something like
"how are you, still waiting?"
she politely replied "yes! Bumpy roads didn't work so will be trying some pineapple tonight!"
The next (and last) message was from the initial person and said " I reckon your baby is gonna be between 10 and 11 lbs at least! Sorry but it's gonna be big"
Why do people do this? I think it's so rude, do they really think it's what an already quite stressed heavily pregnant woman wants to hear?
I know it's none of my business and I will keep my mouth shut (I might also be oversensitive from being 9 months pregnant myself)
And breathe..

OP posts:

ToryLovell · 29/04/2012 10:17

Be thankful that the idiot is not your friend

simperingsally · 29/04/2012 10:23

at least its not your friend. they're not always that big.. i was 9 days overdue and baby sally was 6lbs7oz

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 29/04/2012 10:32

I went over due by 12 days, my baby was 7.7. This person is a bit thick, but not rude. They are just commenting in the way that everyone seems to feel they have the right to when pregnancy is involved.

pumpkinsweetie · 29/04/2012 10:33

One of my dcs was 14 days overdue and she weighed 5lb 11oz so this 'friend' of hers sounds like a complete twit

Jinsei · 29/04/2012 10:35

My dd was quite big - 8.13. But she was 17 days late! People should keep their big mouths shut!

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 29/04/2012 10:36

It was a daft comment but you are also being a bit oversensitive, people say all kinds of silly things around pregnancy, I was told that my baby would definitely be at least a month premature by a colleague as I was so big by about 7 months they couldn't believe I would go full term, he was a bit of a numpty but harmless really people just say anything that pops into their head to pregnant women.

slowlyburningcalories · 29/04/2012 10:42

I went 17 days over and baby was under 7lbs.

antsypants · 29/04/2012 10:43

YABU in a small way, but I don't know what it is about pregnancy that makes people forget their manners.

I had a lot of comments throughout my pregnancy, I was over 3 weeks overdue by the time I was induced, I had lots of 'the baby will be massive' comments (she scraped over 5lbs)

The comment that topped it all was from an older female, on the bus no less, who (uninvited) invaded my space, patted my stomach and then informed me that a cock would not feel the same once the 'bairn' had made an appearance. It was at 9.30 in the morning on my way to the scan I had hysterically insisted on since the staff had insisted I was wrong about the only possible date of conception... To say she was told to fuck off would be putting it lightly

I have always sworn to never make comments...

FrozenChocolate · 29/04/2012 10:48

'a cock would not feel the same'???

an 'older female'

O.M.G.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

antsypants · 29/04/2012 10:51

I know frozen chocolate

For some reason, whether it was my age or something, people seemed to have this the to tell me I would be left with a bucket crotch after my pregnancy, she was not the first person to make that kind of comment... Bizarre

AutumnSummers · 29/04/2012 10:58

I had someone saying the same to me when I was overdue and I took it to be a joke.

Rhubarbgarden · 29/04/2012 11:01

at Antsy

It's astonishing what people will say. I was in a taxi recently and seeing that I was pregnant, the aged driver insisted on telling me vivid details about his daughter's birth forty years ago, and how when they were stitching his wife afterwards he had had told the midwife to 'do a good job of that, it's going to be used'.

Vom.

AlanMoore · 29/04/2012 11:13

Write underneath that babies who go more than a week overdue weigh AT LEAST a stone and that that is medical fact. Nothing wrong with being passive aggressive when you're 9m gone (got 4.5 weeks max left myself and getting a bit "edgy"!)

I am at some of these, especially the charming bus lady and the oversharing cabby.

KateSpade · 29/04/2012 11:24

I just used to hate strangers talking to me about being pregnant.
I'd get old ladies coming up to me in the street/at the bus stop ect asking me silly questions. I absolutely hated it!

mybabyweightiseightyearsold · 29/04/2012 11:33

Tell them you had the baby three weeks ago, but kept the bump because you like it.

Stupid eejits.

I feel your pain - I was 9, 11 and 15 days over with mine. I may have too comfy a uterus. And, don't worry, cock feels fine afterwards.

PooPooInMyToes · 29/04/2012 12:19

What a load of rubbish.

I would have to post something underneath.

"Wow betty! You must have magical powers to be able to a. See into the future or b. Be able to weigh an unborn baby via facebook"

mistlethrush · 29/04/2012 12:23

Mine was in that weight range - but he was a week early!

BonnieBumble · 29/04/2012 12:26

An unnecessary comment I agree but God people are so over sensitive about pregnancy related comments. Looking at previous threads on here people are so easily slighted by comments that aren't even that bad, I don't see why some pregnant women have to be treated with kid gloves.

Thumbwitch · 29/04/2012 12:27

ha, I'd still be tempted to stick in a disclaimer, if only to make your friend feel better.
I went 2w over, had to be induced and DS was still only 7lb 3oz so it's a load of shite what that ignorant fool wrote.

hackmum · 29/04/2012 12:35

It is an annoying comment. It's not true for a start - as lots of people pointed out, overdue babies can be quite small (mine was). It's very annoying when non-medical people start pronouncing on your pregnancy as if they're experts. Secondly, it's an upsetting comment because when it's your first pregnancy you are naturally fearful of the birth and don't want to be told that you are having an enormous baby.

DrCoconut · 29/04/2012 12:42

Just to be different I was 11 days over and DS2 weighed 9lb 15. However, there is no need to scare someone just before labour is due.

fotheringhay · 29/04/2012 12:46

That's the thing, it's not just a thoughtless comment, it could be downright scary.

titfortat · 29/04/2012 12:49

I was told the same as I was huge. I was 4 days overdue when I went into labour, and he was 9lbs 7oz.

The heavier the baby, the better I was told. Gravity helps out a lot so don't worry about baby being big. Doesn't mean the labour will horrific.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 29/04/2012 12:53

Really? You would be scared by some complete numpty making a ridiculous comment? If that's the case, I'd suggest you do some research instead of over reacting.

OP - yes it was a stupid comment, but it's not worth the energy to still be thinking about it on behalf of your friend. It's an eyeroll comment, that's all.

Original poster

mythical · 29/04/2012 13:39

No, the reason I was angry (for my friend) is because the comment is incorrect (I think it's agreed by now that being overdue does not mean you will have a very big baby) and seriously, what is the point of it? No, I don't think pregnant women should be treated with kid gloves, I just think some people should keep their opinions to themselves if they're likely to sound like "oh your bump is huge, your baby will be massive" or " oh your bump is so tiny, are you eating enough?"
I don't see the difference between a comment like that and telling someone "oh, you're a bit fat, should you be eating that ice cream?"

OP posts:

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