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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not invite nursery friends to party....?

15 replies

citruslemon · 29/04/2012 00:22

DD started new nursery in Jan. She's been invited to two b'day parties since then. We've attended both and given presents - she's had a chance to play with her new friends outside nursery and for me to meet the parents. But at both these parties the parents seemed to have invited every kid in the nursery. The girl from the first party wasn't even in my daughter's class and my daughter didn't know her. The second party was for a girl in my daughter's class that she really gets on with.
Now my DD's birthday is coming up and I really cannot afford a birthday party - was made redundant. Am thinking of taking DD to theme park which she loves.
Was wondering what the other parents would think of me for not having a whole nursery party like they all seem to do?? Would it reflect badly on me and my DD?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/04/2012 00:28

You're worrying because you're not having a party? Confused

They're not compulsory you know lol!

Just take her to the theme park...have a great time and be thankful you don't have to worry about all the party invite shit that seems to cause so much angst.

5318008 · 29/04/2012 00:28

Don't worry about the other parents, you are not excluding from a party because you are not having one

Have a lovely day out

squeakytoy · 29/04/2012 00:29

I would imagine that since January there have been a lot of other birthdays ... without parties.

YANBU

BackforGood · 29/04/2012 00:33

Of course YANBU. Big parties for 2 and 3 year olds are generally just overwhelming for them.

Do whatever you would like to do for her birthday (and continue to do this throughout her life ~ well, with more input from her as she gets older, but still within your limits)

xxmush1983xx · 29/04/2012 00:41

YANBU - I had a huge party for my DD1s 5th birthday last year, not doing it this year, doing same as you, either safari park or swimming. If you really want to do something for the nursery kids hand a multipack of sweets in to be handed round on her birthday :)

olibeansmummy · 29/04/2012 08:22

Of course it won't look bad! Of there were 30 children in the nursery and she'd been to 29 parties, well tbh it still wouldn't be a problem. Ds is having a party and he's only been to 1 of the girls' party and been invited to another but we can't go. One child on the list had a party and didn't invite ds, but who cares? Ds likes him so he's invited. There's plenty of time for party politics at school!

RillaBlythe · 29/04/2012 08:26

We are having a party for DD but not inviting anyone from nursery. Mainly because she hasn't been invited to anyone else's she doesn't have a particular friend at nursery & who she would want to invite changes daily, can't manage inviting the whole class so going for none of them! I think the only objection would be if you invited 3/4s of the class & left a small number out.

porcamiseria · 29/04/2012 08:46

babe, just have a small "tea party" at home, and if stressed re nursery have at weekend and invitre family and non-nursey mates instead

Proudnscary · 29/04/2012 08:53

You: 'We're not having a party for dd's birthday this year, we're taking her to a theme park'

Other parents: 'Lovely, have fun'

Is that so hard? If people judge you they are lunatics. In my experience parents are bloody relieved when they have one weekend off from a party and buying yet another present.

MeKathryn · 29/04/2012 09:21

We did the theme park thing and no one said anything. DS still got 2 party invites after. His BF didn't have a nursery party either.

duckdodgers · 29/04/2012 09:27

Parties arent a necessity you know!! A lot of the time its just to show off anyway in my opinion.

My DS has just had a party - he is 10 and it was his first ever. And even then he only invited who he really wanted there. Why are you so worried about what the parents of fellow nursery children think anyway? Confused

Cherrypie32 · 29/04/2012 09:55

I haven't got to know any patents at nursery as it's just drop off pick up so no one would even know when it is DD's birthday. What I call 'competitive party' def happens round these parts where it seems how many kids (mostly just randoms from nursery) you invite to your massive party denotes your status in life. DS was 4 last year and just had his 5 best mates he plays with. Don't worry about it.

simperingsally · 29/04/2012 10:35

dd will be 3 in june.. we're going on a long weekend and will be going to nickelodeon land which she will love.
go for it. nobody will judge you.
parties for young kids only stress them out and get them hyper in my opinion. and yes in a lot of cases its about parents showing off as well. (again just what i have seen not the case for everyone)

PoppyWearer · 29/04/2012 10:44

If you're worried about it, do what a classmate of DD's did and bring in some party plates, hats and napkins (total cost £10 if that?) and some sweets or yoghurty raisins and ask the nursery if they will use them for a "birthday tea" for your DD. I reckon they won't mind as it saves on washing up!

My DD loved the one for her friend and was really buzzing afterwards like she'd been to a real party. Well done that mum!

MariahScary · 29/04/2012 10:47

Don't worry about it. DD has been at nursery for 3 years and been invited to half a dozen massive, whole year group and then some soft play parties. We gratefully accept, bring a present, have a nice time. etc ...but we haven't had a party at all for her so far. Just a cake and presents with family / cousins at home.

Trust me - once they start school there is no escape (have older children, so trust me on this). Keep it low key for nursery and dont worry too much.

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