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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask ex childminder for money owed?

24 replies

PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 19:36

Needed a registered childminder end of last year for 6 weeks up to christmas hols only as ds was due to start nursery in jan. lovely childminder recommended by nursery, children go to dd's school (nursery and school on same site). Childminder happened to be pg with 3rd child due early Jan and only able to take mindees until week before school hols, when we needed it til. It was perfect, she had lost her othe mindees as they found other childcare in he weeks leading up to Christmas, she could do with money as much as we needed her services.

We discussed plans in case she went into early labour, including us reassuring her we had flexi to get ds if she went int labour, as we knew it was close to her due date. She assured us if she had baby early we would be refunded outstanding monies owed, not something we were too concerned with as we all knew the situation.

She was a fab childminder and was an excellent introduction to childcare for ds as he had one to one care. In the last two weeks of contract she was increasingly tired and had a couple of false starts.

In the last week shehad her baby and was unable to care for ds for the last two days of contract. I fully anticipated this, as her others were early, and my employers knew this might be an issue, so I had backup plans, as it happened I only had to take one days leave and Dh was already not working one day.

She was so apologetic! she had refused to stop caring for ds on the final day before she went into labour as I think she was very conscientious and did not want to let us down. In dialogue in the next week or so she said she owed us two days of care she could not provide, and did not press for it as we knew they were down her wage and it was Christmas. Saw her in the first week back at school in jan and while cooing over baby she said she owed us money and would pay us next week, I said no rush, whenever she remembered. Did not want to pressure her due to having her hands full and jan probably meant painful wallet!

However, she did not give us the money and I felt awful reminding her, as she clearly remembered before, so had probably not forgotten, I worried I would be making thing financially difficult, on a bit embarrassed to ask. We exchanged politeness. She mentioned it again at end of jan, and not since. Th longer time passed the more awkward we have felt asking for it.

DH and considered just leaving it, or more specifically taking the awkwardness away by saying don't worry about paying it back as she had a good reason, but we actually really need the money right now as our car had had a big bill.

Aibu to ask for it back now or is it too late? I don't want to put her in an awkward position, as she was so good with ds and us really nice.

OP posts:
Kayano · 28/04/2012 19:39

I would leave it personally.

You may need or want her again in the future and you said she was brilliant to your DS. Brilliant childminder I would just leave it

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 28/04/2012 19:39

how much are you talking
£40?

squeakytoy · 28/04/2012 19:40

She assured us if she had baby early we would be refunded outstanding monies owed, not something we were too concerned with as we all knew the situation

It is two days... and you were not too bothered about the money at the time, so you are being unreasonable to suddenly decide you want it RIGHT NOW..

PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 19:40

Yes that's the exact amount. I know it's not much but our own finances are quite tight.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 28/04/2012 19:41

I would leave it, instead ask if you can bank 2 days for staff training days or other holidays

toobreathless · 28/04/2012 19:41

Personally I would be inclined to leave it & wrote the money off.

Guess it depends in how much it is? & how much you need it?

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 28/04/2012 19:42

i would be leaving it after this length of time
good idea from McHappy about banking 2 days that you might need

PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 19:42

Squeaky* we have not suddenly decided, we talk about how to go about it quite regularly Dh and I, but have had the flexibility to wait, but this bill has caused our own finances to be pressured, I get your point though, which is what has stopped us asking thus far.

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 19:43

squeaky and obviously we never told her we were not bothered!

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 19:44

mchappy like the idea of banking it.

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whattodoo · 28/04/2012 19:45

I think its a bit too late now, to be honest. Maybe she feels that you haven't sounded too bothered about it every time she's mentioned it.

I suppose you could bring it up next time you bump into her - "hi x. You know we really should sort out that outstanding 2 days money, I keep forgetting to mention it" if she says that money us a bit tight at mo, then I think I'd drop it for the sake of keeping a friendship. You never know, you may need her services again

wheresthepopcorn · 28/04/2012 20:11

I don't think it's that big of a deal for you to text her to ask for it, if you really need it. After all, that was the deal. She is probably sleep deprived, it slipped her mind and she'd be mortified she forgot. Sounds like it's quite important to you and sounds like it's turned into a bigger deal than it really is.

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 28/04/2012 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 20:16

We can manage without, as had she not had the baby early this money would not be available to us, it has already been spent in that we accounted for it at Xmas, and have not relied on it since as did not know when we would receive it. So, honestly, whilst its needed I feel quite mean. Dh however does not, but wants me to ask.

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 20:17

myname no I paid cash, she did not have bank details

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JustFab · 28/04/2012 20:19

What would happen if you owed her £40 for 2 extra days or is that different?

JustFab · 28/04/2012 20:19

If dh wants it he should ask.

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 28/04/2012 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 20:56

I can't see that would ever have happened tbh, in that she invoiced us at the start of contract for first whole month paid on day one, and then at end of month for next month paid when we got paid. Her contract stated there would a charge for late payment and then if not paid within a certain period after that then contract would be cancelled, but the time was so short it would not have been relevant. I expect she would have wanted paying at some point, I don't know how she would have been if that had ever occurred.

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PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 20:59

myname that is helpful to know. Would you feel put out that it was asked for after a while though? Or would you now think it is too late? As mentioned, I might need or want her services again in the future, so don't want to alienate her for the ask of £40 if it might been that could happen.

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 28/04/2012 21:01

justfab yes I agree, but his view is that I dealt with her mostly, in particular around money side of it all, and contract etc so I am more comfortable with it all as is she with me. Which means, he is a coward I think Grin

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 28/04/2012 21:06

I think she ought to pay you back - it's not her money to keep, it's yours. However lovely she is, you paid for a service that you didn't receive. If you owed her money, would she be reluctant to ask for it? I think probably not.

You can do it nicely - say you've had a big car bill and could do with it.

I have been a CM and in her position, I wouldn't have spent the money until I'd provided all the days I'd agreed to.

JustFab · 28/04/2012 21:07

Let it go. You may need her in future but if she mentions it again say yes, you would appreciate the money.

betterwhenthesunshines · 28/04/2012 21:11

I think it would sound a bit petty to bring it up again. But if you bump into her again, and she mentions it then say something like "That would be great" rather than "Ok, whenever".

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