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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the induction to Year R is a bit OTT?

36 replies

Cherrypie32 · 28/04/2012 19:36

1hr settling in sessions at the school, once a week for 6 weeks from end May. Visits from nursery, visits from preschool, then a teacher visits us at home in first week of term. All this and then they only start school with 2.5hr mornings or afternoons for a couple of weeks. This is going to cause all our normal routines alot of disruption not to mention cost money. I don't know what I am going to do with DD for the 1hr sessions. DS is already used to an educational setting 4 days a week, is a happy, well adjusted boy who enjoys new experiences. Personally I think a couple of times with me, then the other visits is more than enough. I don't even work but can't imagine the difficulties it would pose working mums. I can appreciate there will be other children who for many different reasons need extra time to settle but shouldn't that be a parents choice?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 28/04/2012 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peaz · 28/04/2012 19:41

Our nursery did something similar (though obviously not the settling in sessions in May) and spoke to each parent individually. Those who felt their children would find it hard had settling in periods from the start, from 15 minutes. My son is quite adaptable so he started the Wednesday before, with 90 minutes at a time.

Do they not talk to other parents or is this set in stone? I can understand that it can be unnecessarily inconvenient.

peaz · 28/04/2012 19:42

And also, although my OH felt initially that DS would have been fine, it is quite overwhelming for little ones so he did understand when I told him that DS was whacked out at the end of his first full session.

Aribura · 28/04/2012 19:46

"You'll soon learn that schools run for the children's benefit, not parents'." I love you forever for this valid point which MN always forgets.

WorraLiberty · 28/04/2012 19:55

It does sound like a bit off a faff

The kids here do mornings or afternoons only for a week...then full days the following week but must be picked up for lunch.

Even then a lot of parents complain and are often asking to bend the rules to suit them/their working hours.

But as someone else said, the schools run for the children's benefit.

MsPaperbackWriter · 28/04/2012 19:59

I agree with the 'children's benefit' angle. As parents we need to understand this and help the teachers not make it difficult for them.

NowThenWreck · 28/04/2012 20:00

Actually schools as we know them only exist so parents could go to work (after they banned children from working in factories) so in that sense they do exist for the parents.

OK, I am being facetious, but I do think that YANBU.
It is far too much faffing about, and dragged out too long.

Life is about change, starting school is a normal thing to do, and should be treated that way. I really think that all this endless settling in by stealth makes the children more anxious, not less.
Obvs certain kids will need a bit more hand holding than others, and this should be arranged between the parents and the school, but in general going a couple of times with a parent to begin with for a short day should be enough.

I found it really hard as a working single parent doing all the settling in stuff, and ours wasn't as drawn out as yours.

fivegomadindorset · 28/04/2012 20:01

YOu don't have to do the settling in sessions.

Original poster
Cherrypie32 · 28/04/2012 20:16

Just re-read letter from school and it wants you to attend all 6 sessions as each has a 'different focus'. I can send him with another adult if I can't go. To attend he will have to miss his pre school session that afternoon and he adores pre school, fgs he has enough time to be in school for the next 12 years! My friend and i am sure many other parents will have spent £100 on wasted child care for it to happen. I'm sure they can't force you to go but then I would judged by school and other mums for not doing it IYSWIM

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherrypie32 · 28/04/2012 20:20

I totally agree btw NowThen. We all started that school with much less fuss and seems to be presenting it like there is going to be problems when I'm sure for the majority of children it isn't.

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/04/2012 20:27

Don't worry about being judged by school and other mums for starters! Does it really matter what they think of you? Rule number one for being a school mum is develop a very thick skin! Wink

It does all sound a little excessive I have to say. At the school my DD2 is at they have a visit at nursery from their teacher, then a 1.5 hour taster session with mum/dad/grandparent at the end of the summer term and then they start full time in the September. They did similar at the infant school DD1 went to. The children all seemed to settle fine with this.

I can see the school is doing it to benefit the children but I do think they have gone overboard. Totally agree too Cherrypie that our generation started school with minimal preparation and were all fine.

CalmaLlamaDown · 28/04/2012 20:28

The teaching staff put a lot of effort into organising induction and visits. I think YABU as not compulsary if you feel your ds will not benefit then don't send him. Personally I was grateful the school made the effort last year for my ds in reception!

Dozer · 28/04/2012 20:38

Bollocks, schools are clearly not run for children's benefit! If that's the case, why do they start at 4, have endless tests, no flexibility over starting in reception aged 5 for DC who are young in the year (in england), have v long terms, holidays that are not conducive to retaining learning.........

Dozer · 28/04/2012 20:38

OP yanbu.

cutegorilla · 28/04/2012 20:46

That does seem ott. My DS1 had one visit to school in the summer term before he started, then a home visit, a couple of weeks of half days, then he was in full time. I'm actually not entirely convinced the half days are all that helpful tbh. My DD when she started kept saying she wanted to come home at lunchtime when the half days ended. A thought that would never have entered her head had she not had the half days at the start. I think it's actually a bit confusing for them to have no fixed routine until a few weeks in.

LindyHemming · 28/04/2012 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/04/2012 20:58

Am I the only one who just doesn't 'get' the point of home visits from the school? What are they for? To check the child is from a clean house? To see if any unsuitable characters live there?

We don't have the home visits round here and it's not been detrimental to any of my DCs at all.

LindyHemming · 28/04/2012 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 28/04/2012 21:00

YANBU, that's unnecessarily faffy. I wouldn't have been able to do that, I work ft.

Dd1 is in Reception and she did half days for a whole month. It cost me a fortune in wraparound care/wasted loads of holiday on it. The stress of sorting it out nearly made me ill. I felt like I was the only working mother they'd ever had. The feeling has not gone away since...

piellabakewell · 28/04/2012 21:01

Home visits can show the child in a different light...ideally they are at the most relaxed and will be more outgoing than they would be in an unfamiliar setting.

elliejjtiny · 28/04/2012 21:05

Sounds normal to me. We have 3 stay and play sessions in the summer term. Then in september DS2 will do afternoons for a week, mornings for a week, lunch and afternoons for a week, morning and lunch for a week. Then the children who are ready (most of them usually) will go full time. The class is split into 2 groups while they are part time so the first week one group will be in the morning and one in the afternoon. I think this is a good idea as the teacher has a much smaller class at the beginning.

verysmellyeli · 28/04/2012 21:07

Our school is quite low key. Most of the teachers work FT and have kids so they appreciate that not everyone can do everything if it is during working hours. They do a staggered start over a week, but are very good about people asking for specific days (I've booked DD's first day as A/L already). The one thing they weren't great at was giving enough notice for things like nativity/sports day/open lunch'parent's evening - but that has got a lot better and interestingly this change coincided with the headteacher's eldest child starting school!

Original poster
Cherrypie32 · 28/04/2012 21:08

Piella, you have just hit on my other gripe about the whole thing, home visits, surely an opportunity to label a child and their homelife. DS is less likely to interact with a stranger who comes round his house than with someone he is introduced to as his teacher in a group environment. I see no benefit and again, it never happened in our day Smile I did try to decide to look at this in a positive light however, as an opportunity to meet teacher and see what I think.

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 28/04/2012 21:13

The benefit of home visits isn't to judge parents and home life, it to make children feel like they are valued by their teacher and give the teacher a better understanding of the child as an individual.

I think YABU. Schools do these things after years of experience and working out what will help children settle in best. It's not about you and your convenience, it's about your child. And just because your child may settle easily, not all will.

FanjolinaJolie · 28/04/2012 21:15

Don't go to any of them, then. It's up to you.

We moved counties over the summer and DD1 ended up having no visits prior to starting. She managed fine and settled in well.

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