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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

dh snoring wtf do I do?

71 replies

angeltulips · 28/04/2012 00:28

He's always snored but it's getting worse - every night chain saw for the past 6 months. He gets up at 6am to go to work so I am exhausted. If I wake him he says I am yelling at him and he can't help it. But if I don't, I lie awake listening to the bed shake til I drop off from exhaustion at about 430am. What to do?

cries

OP posts:

Dowser · 26/03/2015 07:00

Never heard of singing lessons helping snoring. Might be worth giving a try.

Tonight has been a real bad night!

AlpacaMyBags · 26/03/2015 07:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stonecircle · 26/03/2015 09:12

Can I ask if this sounds like sleep apnoea? If DH is asleep he snores. He builds up to a crescendo and then goes silent. I thought it might be sleep apnoea but his chest is still moving up and down though he is completely silent for 10-20 seconds or so. Then he'll make the really loud snorting noise that wakes him up and which I've been on edge waiting for.

We have both been to the doctor about it - dr suggested earplugs for me, using a spare room etc. And when I tried to play him a recording of DH snoring so he could hear how loud it is, he said, "I do know what snoring sounds like".....

abyssiniam8 · 26/03/2015 09:30

Yes Stone that does sound like apnoea. My dh was diagnosed last year and now sleeps with the cpap machine. He tried everything but honestly all that other stuff was just a waste of money. The crunch came when our sofa broke as that was what one of us would sleep on each night. He went to see the ENT for a sinus problem but I told the doctor about the snoring a week before he saw dh, when I was there with dd. I am not proud, and dh was furious with me, but it couldn't carry on like it was. I now know that i was sleep deprived, because for the first time in years and years i also get a good nights sleep when he is wearing the mask.

I think you need to see another doctor Stone. That is shocking!! He needs to be referred for a sleep study.

They picked up that dh stopped breathing more than 60 time an hour. Yes so he stopped breathing for a few seconds every minute! It took a while to get used to the mask, but now he cant sleep without it...

Slingclutter · 26/03/2015 09:35

You have my total sympathy

Dh has snored for years; sounds like a motor bike starting up on the landing. Can hear it through two floors.

We play musical beds in this house. We start off on the same floor and by the following morning, we have scattered to different areas of the house. Not very restful. Particularly as dh wakes at 4.30 am /5am each morning and then doesn't really sleep properly after that.

Slingclutter · 26/03/2015 09:37

Oh and agree with the person down thread who suggested recording it on your mobile phone. The maddening thing about my dh is that he can't really hear it properly and thinks I am exaggerating/ making it up! The shaking walls would suggest otherwise ... .

stonecircle · 26/03/2015 09:40

That's interesting Abyssinia. I think we are both sleep deprived to be honest. I always get irritated with DH through the day because he seems so tired when I'm the one who's been kept awake all night. But then if he isn't getting good quality sleep either I suppose it's not surprising he's tired. I managed ok for about 15 years but then developed insomnia and sleep problems (triggered I think by long drawn out death of my dad then lots of problems with my mum). So now DH defends himself by pointing out that some nights, when he sleeps on the sofa, I don't sleep anyway. Therefore his snoring can't be a problem .....

I'm now going to book a GP appointment for us both to go and press for a sleep study for DH.

Babymamamama · 26/03/2015 09:47

We don't have a spare room. I bought a single pull out futon seat bed. I can escape dh to the living room when snoring gets out of control. Feels like such a treat to sleep in peace and solo sometimes.

abyssiniam8 · 26/03/2015 10:02

Stone. Yes, i agree you will both be sleep deprived. You because you haven't been able to sleep due to the noise, and he will be too as he will be waking up (although he probably doesn't realize) every time he has an apnoea.

Does he fall asleep fast? And in any place? If he drives in his day to day job, it can be so dangerous.

They don't believe it, dh was in total denial about the apnoea. In fact we sat here with the results for the tests for months before he would even go in for the machine. Then when he did he was so off with the woman trying to fit the mask etc. He was acting like it was a big joke in fact. When he went to the car to get something, I apologized to her as I was so embarrassed by his behaviour towards her . She then told me that she was in fact, quite used to it, as a large percentage of men are in denial about it, and that in a years time if she tried to take the machine off dh, he would fight her tooth and nail for it back. Its not even a year yet, and she is right .

I overheard him recommending a sleep study to a bloke not so long ago. I nearly fell over in shock!

abyssiniam8 · 26/03/2015 10:03

Feels like such a treat to sleep in peace and solo sometimes

Ah yes I know this feeling only too well.....

stonecircle · 26/03/2015 10:32

Abyssinia - yes, he does fall asleep very fast. Standing joke with the kids that as soon as dad sits in his comfy chair his eyes close. And as soon as his head hits the pillow he's away!

He also gets very defensive about his snoring - which is why I recorded it and he was horrified. I often decamp to the sofa during the night and in the morning am told I should have woken him and he would have gone downstairs. But he can be very stroppy if I even nudge him when he's snoring. I get the, "how CAN I be snoring, I'm not even asleep!!" routine which I'm sure others are familiar with!

Will definitely be making another appointment!

AlpacaMyBags · 26/03/2015 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abyssiniam8 · 26/03/2015 10:38

I often decamp to the sofa during the night and in the morning am told I should have woken him and he would have gone downstairs. But he can be very stroppy if I even nudge him when he's snoring. I get the, "how CAN I be snoring, I'm not even asleep!!"

I could have written this word for word!

Stone. Don't let another doctor fob you off.

abyssiniam8 · 26/03/2015 10:41

For me as well, I think that it affected our marriage. He was always grumpy in the morning as was I, always going to bed at ridiculous times at night because he was so tired, even before the dc sometimes. We would rarely wake up together in the same bed.

Things are better now. And sex is more frequent, purely because we are both in the same place at the same time more

Mandatorymongoose · 26/03/2015 11:09

DH doesn't snore but he does grind his teeth and if he forgets to put his mouth guard in the sound wakes me up and no amount of shaking him and coercion will convince him to put it in in the middle of the night.

I hate it.

It makes me want to pull his stupid teeth out. Once I'm awake it takes me ages to get back to sleep.

I need pillowcases printed with "Mouth guard in or piss off".

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 26/03/2015 11:30

went through all this - of course he wasn't snoring, he wasn't even asleep; I had insomnia so it was me who needed the GP, not him; I was just being nasty to him and nagging.

I eventually threatened to leave if he didn't do something about it, off trots DH to the GP, immediate referral for a sleep study, and now his CPAP machine is my best friend .

The consultant did scare him with all the risks of untreated SA, and although he only agreed to try out the CPAP to keep me quiet , he admitted after less than a month that actually maybe he hadn't been sleeping all that well , and he might carry on with it a bit longer.

ninawish · 26/03/2015 11:55

My DH was fitted with a mouth brace after years of awful long snoring, sleep studies that found nothing wrong etc etc It changed both our lives, the musical beds, the lack of sleep on both parts and now he never snores unless of course he doesn't put the brace in and then madly snoring within 30 seconds of going to sleep - he got if after being referred to an orthodontist specialising in sleep problems. Amazing!!!!!

NeedABumChange · 26/03/2015 12:03

Tell him to lose weight.

Even half a stone can make a difference between snoring and not.

Blueskybrightstar · 26/03/2015 13:32

Hmm I've been there! Unless its a medical case for surgery of some kind, you need to a) get him working out, also easy on the alcohol and dairy and b) prop himself up with big pillows when he sleeps, buy earplugs and this snore stuff that you can gargle with (can't remember the name but Boots sell it).

I suffered a LONG time and the combination above is literally the only thing that ever worked. DH didn't believe how bad he was until he recorded himself overnight, lol, then was horrified.

stonecircle · 26/03/2015 14:54

My DH is not overweight, does regular exercise and rarely drinks Always sleeps on his side too. We've tried loads of over the counter stuff and nothing has worked.

Morelikeguidelines · 26/03/2015 15:30

I use ear plugs. It would be my luck if I sent dh for surgery and he somehow died. Plus know others who have said they came back making a worse noise.

I do wake him to turn over if it's really bad. Making them drink water seems to help.

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