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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up that we never do anything nice

12 replies

WannaBeWildCosMyLifesSoTame · 27/04/2012 22:07

Friday night and I'm stuck at home again watching 80s sitcom reruns. My friend just texted me to say she's all dressed up drinking champagne in a limo, just been picked up for a friend's 40th do.

Champagne and limos aren't neccessarily my cup of tea but AIBU to be pissed off that we never go anywhere remotely fun or glamorous? I know we are lucky to have a roof over our heads and a TV to watch 80s crap on but it would be so nice to be doing something more exciting once in a while

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2012 22:07

Is there a reason why you don't/cant?

Original poster

WannaBeWildCosMyLifesSoTame · 27/04/2012 22:08

And clearly I can't spell either

OP posts:

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 27/04/2012 22:08

YANBU, I don't feel like I do anything exciting either. Friends' photos on facebook show girls' nights out, glamorous wedding receptions and fancy dress parties. A night out for me is going to the cinema.

Vagabond · 27/04/2012 22:16

Make it happen for yourself and stop sitting at home waiting for an invitation. I'll bet your friends would love it if you organised something for you all to do. Ignore Facebook. If they were so busy having fun, they wouldn't have time to tell you!

Original poster

WannaBeWildCosMyLifesSoTame · 27/04/2012 22:20

Don't really know Worra - mainly lack of friends who invite us to stuff I suppose. My DH has no mates really which limits things a bit :( My friends tend to do stuff at home so kids can come along which is lovely but I really miss getting dressed up to go out once in a while. Work hard all week so would love to let my hair down at the weekend but we never get asked to more than dinner at my Mum's - nice but hardly exciting:(

OP posts:

Aribura · 28/04/2012 12:33

I find it's usually the childless or childfree that do that kind of thing, TV and cinema is more of a parent thing.

Rhubarbgarden · 28/04/2012 12:42

You say you never get asked or invited to these things, but do you organise or ask anyone to them? It works both ways. Like money, exciting times don't fall out of the sky in my experience; you have to make them happen.

ChaoticismyLife · 28/04/2012 12:43

I agree with a pp, arrange a night out for you and your friends. Get your DH to find some friends so he can do the same thing with each of you taking it in turns looking after the DC. If you want to go out together can you ask a friend to babysit? It doesn't have to be every week or even every month.

I don't go out often, due to a lack of money, when I do I find I enjoy it more because I'm not out every week.

TheProvincialLady · 28/04/2012 12:54

Get your act together woman! Ask a couple of friends out for dinner/drinks, and go. Don't wait for others to ask you - they probably assume you don't like going out, since you never do.

Why doesn't your husband have any friends?

Original poster

WannaBeWildCosMyLifesSoTame · 28/04/2012 15:13

Can of worms Provincial Lady - I don't really know why he doesn't, he's lost touch with the few people he was close to when we first met and doesn't seem to have made any new friends. He gets on well with the husbands of my mates but it never goes any further - doesn't help that he hates football and isn't a massive drinker so doesn't have a huge amount in common with most blokes. I wish he did have more of a social life and imagine if he did it would lead to us doing more in general - anything we do get asked to is always arranged by my friends.

As far as arranging something myself goes, I do arrange to go out with my friends but it's always quite low key stuff. I think because other people have bigger social circles than us they tend to go to more weddings/parties etc so are happy to do more casual stuff when we get together. DH and I rarely go to anything more than a BBQ at someone's house so I'd really love to go somewhere that involved dressing up and was generally a bit more glamorous.

OP posts:

TheProvincialLady · 28/04/2012 16:18

Maybe he's just not bothered about getting closer to people than that? Tricky for you though, because as you say it means you are likely to get fewer invitations than if you both had a set of friends.

My DH hates football and isn't a massive drinker either, and he doesn't have a huge amount in common with a lot of blokes...but he has kept up with old friends so while he hasn't made a lot of new friends in recent years, we still see his old pals. I wonder why yours didn't keep in touch with the people he used to be close to (if they were genuinely close)? Do you think it is too late for him to get in touch again?

As for the dressing up thing, I totally understand. I love dressing up and luckily I am able to do that quite often now for various reasons. How about suggesting to your friends that you go somewhere much posher than usual for a special dinner, or organise a dinner party or even a fundraiser for school or a charity. All good way to dress up and if you get into the whole dinner party/fundraising committee thing (assuming you have time), you will get lots of invites and perhaps your husband will hit it off better with someone.

exexe · 28/04/2012 16:33

Is there any reason why you can't arrange something thats not low key?

We've done a couple of dressy posh restaurants thanks to Groupon.
Check out Groupon if there are any offers in your area and throw out an invite for a girls night out or to another couple of couples.
Or Toptable sometimes have good offers.

Make it happen!

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