AIBU or should I go with my gut this is long but need advise

[lala21]

Need perspective am willing to admit if I am being silly.

A local mum has been in the area 4 about 3 years, moved 4 doors away and got speaking to her a few weeks back at the local playswings.

She knew one of my friends at swings, app they know each other from the local.
When the weather was good we'd be at swings nearly everyday, but within a few meetings I realised I did not like her. HOWEVER could not xplain it so thought no make an effort you're being silly. Got intro to her hubby at swings took an instant dislike to him, his physical force with his ds who is 4just got my back up.

Then did not see her for a bit then suddenly at swings and walking home she walks to my front yard and says "this is where you live then the house with the big merc outside. ( stomach churns) her exact words

My ds 3 plays with next door neighbours kids so I'm out with them she sees us and comes over and asks who the kids are ( about neighbours children) what they are called? ( i don't say anything as I am running after DD 14 months) why has the mum left them outside ' god i'd never do that' the other kids are thankfully scared of her husky like dog so I say kids better go in etc etc.
By now I've stopped going to the swings and feeling a bit sick about seeing her.

Last week family r up and we're walking back and she sees us introduces herself to MIL and i say 4 her and DH and Ds to walk ahead ( as her son is a bit physical with my son) and she walks the whole 20 min walk back, commenting does dh work long hours, does he work in the city then, etc, says something about MIL but we then walk off and another you need to come around. ( I don't comment)

I stupidly stupidly gave her my mob no ( a few weeks back others did to) she texts to invite me around this week and thankfully I was away but the next day she has to drive passed us to go to school drop off she slowed down by my house and looked ( I am not imagining it)

This has happened over the space of a month, there's more but I'm going to bore you if i have not already.
Her latest is on dh being an accountant her words ( so you're loaded), colour of my kids ( ie my dh is white and I am not).
she made comments about how my weight loss is going but not normal talk but stuff like 'ooow look at u loosing weight' or when I said about going out with the other mums she said ' ow you're miss popular'

But this am I bump into her at the supermarket, she comes over and wants to go out I xplain I can't too short notice but another mutual mum and( about 10 mums) r planning a night out, she's not interested.

She asks if I've been busy, been out and about? ( I said yes I was out as she knows I text her) she says I know I saw you were out, asks if I need help I say no thank you, and then bends down with her arms open and says to my ds come over here and give me a hug while I am trying to open the car door and says to him ' never mind u want to come over and play with my ds don't u'

AIBU or do I have a right to be fxxxxxxxxxxxx off. any advice would do x

You seem to be rude to the poor woman. Do you think you're better than her because your 'husband is an accountant' with a Merc for some strange reason?

Agree MsPW, reminds me of being at primary school and being told by mother and teachers I absolutely must be friends with a little girl I detested. For the record I still detested her 20 years later.

It goes back to other thread tonight about private school girls holding the tennis court hostage, they probably didn't look at it that way, they were just being teenage girls who everyone knows are complete bitches anyway

OMG the other woman sounds a bit like me I know its not me as some of the facts dont add up, but I think I have been in the same place as this other woman is with you and it looks like you just dont like her for no reason at all. What's wrong with trying to get to know someone before deciding you dont like them?

app they know each other from the local. We needed to know because?

TBH I think she's just trying to be friends and nothing more sinister than that.

well all taken I suppose I just don't like the fact that she thought she had the right to hug my son I would never feel as though I had the right to do that so I suppose it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

The whole dh and mil issue was the fact that after what seemed like forever she did not leave us alone to walk she kept walking. I suppose I would smile and say hello and then walk off not walk with.

The other children thing I would never in a million years ask about other peoples children I just would not I'd comment like oh it's nice that you have neighbours etc but not go into details or ask questions, when i organised a night out and I've xplained that at the moment because things r so difficult at home its nicer 4 me to meet up at the pub with everyone maybe she wants more from it than me or what I can give but I don't know how I can say it without being rude.

The snob things surprises me as I don't comment on other peoples belongings and car I came from nothing growing up so would not judge anyone by that.

While I say hello and smile and how r u etc she does the million in one questions maybe we're just different

I just think its rude to comment on peoples jobs and what they might earn and the car they drive just because its a merc why comment and I would never do that I personally think that's being rude not that I'm a snob for me it does not matter

She sounds like she's just trying to make friends! Don't really understand, most of what's she's said sounds like friendly chit chat tbh.

It's not usually considered rude if you say something along the lines of wow is that your car? Lovely - I've always wanted one of those, or some such, or comment about someone's job oh, so you're a police officer/rat catcher/train driver/MP -- how interesting, etc etc. I'ts just making polite conversation and/or trying to get to know the other person. Some people are better at it than others.

Actually the more you post, the more I think she's the totally normal one here.

You seem to have a real chip on your shoulder.

"this is where you live then the house with the big merc outside. ( stomach churns) her exact words

Your stomach churned cos she simply named the car make?

Bizarre

What she is doing is talking to you, to try to make friends with you. if your stomach curns because someone wants to chat to you? then it is you with the problem.

The same with asking the children's names. She is at the park every day and walks her dog past your house, so not unusual to get to know who lives on the route.

It's because of people like you why no-one knows their neighbours anymore.

If one of the children wanders off, it's handy if they are known to people living locally, especially dog walkers, they see everything.

You are just very different people.

Could it just be a personality clash - she's outgoing and chatty, you're more reserved?