AIBU unreasonable to think I will never be happy?

[MadameStretchmarks]

Summary- DH had affair approx eighteen months ago. Tried to make things work but no joy. Now have house of my own with 2 very young DCS and stressful PT job. Everything seems such a slog. DH has new, much younger GF. Can't help but dwell on the past. V tearful/anxious abt facing future alone. Will I ever get over this and be OK? Feels impossible atm.

What a horrible situation to be in.

Not only has he betrayed you with the other woman, he's left you to deal with two very young children on your own. Awful man.

I think you sound as though you need help. Have you considered asking the doctor for some ADs to help tide you over? I did that after my marriage ended and found that I could compartmentalise my feelings so that I could decide not to think about difficult things.

Do you have good friends and family nearby?

YABU - You will get over this and you will be OK. Of course it feels impossible now, it would do to anyone. You've got a lot going on, you've got loads of different feelings. Doesn't hurt to have a cry if you want to, just don't let it swamp you. Can you do something nice for yourself tonight? What have you got planned for the weekend?

When she leaves him for someone nearer her age and his pot belly droops over his belt and his hair falls out and he looks like a sad, greasy, middle-aged knobber you'll realise what a lucky escape you had.

Thank you for your lovely responses. IB- I think we may have something in common- 6th form teaching?! BF- I have got some nice things planned, both with kids and without...just so sick of feeling rubbish, and putting a bloody brave face on things.

Hehe. Yes I do think he is starting to look like the oldest swinger in town.

Yes re job - no wonder you're stressed! Bad time of year, isn't it, with all coursework and lazy idle students!

Whereabouts are you?

Liverpool-ish. Manic coursework, exam prep- and all I want to do is cry under the duvet. Roll on 16th June when it will all be OVER. And why am I panicking more than students?!

Things have been very difficult for you. But everyone has ups and downs and say that as one who has had some significant downs but I always try and remember the phrase 'most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be'. I really believe it and try and live my life by it

That is pretty good advice slippers. I can be a bit half empty tbh.

You are in the middle of it all atm so its difficult to see the bright side,but its there. Its gradual and you won't notice it until you've been in it for a while.

You are doing your best,its all you can do. Have a cry.

Slipper - I like your phrase, will try to remember that

OP - brave faces work sometimes, not always. But you're talking about it all, so thats good I think. You do know that you are worth ten of the ex, don't you?

Repeat after me....

Thanks guys. I have bloody good friends and family, but I am just a bit 'this isn't how my life was supposed to be'. Wah wah. And he is a knob. But I still kind of want him Boo.

18 months is no time at all, you're at a weird cross-over time when all the adrenaline from the upset and shock he caused has worn off, and you're left feeling deflated and as though you've been hit full on by a train.

It's just a transition period before you find out what your life can be capable of.

Is it him you want, or is it more that you want to feel secure and loved by a man who you can trust to treat you with respect?

Could you do that with your ex, now, after what you know of him? If you couldn't, be happy the worst is over and the time when you're going to be at your happiest is just around the corner