To think I can't be the only one who has never 'fed' their dc?

[Memoo]

A conversation at the children's centre turned to talk of weaning (yawn) I mentioned that I'd never fed dd with a spoon as she had always just fed herself.

I was told that I must have fed her with a spoon at first and when I insisted I didn't they just didn't believe me. The sure start worker (HV?) even said she was sure I must be getting "confused" patronising cow as dd wouldn't have been getting adequate amounts of food by feeding herself.

I'm not the only one am I?

He wouldn't be fed either. But I originally intended to do BLW because it made sense to me.

There were other issues going on, I split up with his father due to emotional abuse and it was a difficult time, but my point was that actually it's not some terrible thing if they don't eat, they can still get adequate nutrition from milk and a small amount of food. He was never malnourished during this time, his weight was on the small side, but it always had been.

Honestly, I tried everything to get him to eat more at insistence of HVs etc, and all that happened was it gave him a taste for junk. I wish I'd just listened to my instinct which was telling me he was fine.

I never stressed about food at all. I mashed up a bit of each thing I was having, then put ds in high chair and spooned in one for him, one for me. It was nice.
I couldn't have handled the food throwing stuff either everlong. I am too lazy to be scrubbing yogurt off the kitchen walls.
At about one and a bit, ds took over the spoon and pretty much always got it all in his mouth, so we bypassed the messy bit.
Although, in my family, we do love our food, and see no reason for good nosh to wind up on the floor. ;)

I tried to spoon feed dd but she refused. She didn't really eat anything through feeding herself til she was 13 months either tbh but at least she was happy playing with it and not screaming hysterically and writhing away from me like she did with the spoon so it stopped me feeling like I was torturing her.

I decided to blw ds after my experiences with dd, but ds would just sit there with his mouth open waiting for me to feed him and cry when I didn't so I ended up doing a mixture.

Contrary pair they are

BLW isn't really the same as 'finger food'. It's about letting your baby choose what they eat, and how much of it. I don't give DS2 (nearly nine months old) finger foods, unless finger food is the meal IYSWIM? Like, sandwiches at lunchtime or grapes at breakfast, etc, etc. Dinner is usually a 'proper' meal (pasta and sauce, casserole, risotto, pie, whatever) but he tends to eat it with his fingers. So, I guess it's finger food, but it's not food meant for fingers.

Interestingly, post ds being a baby I met lots of baby wearing, co sleeping BLW type of people, and their kids to a man have zero table manners.
When they come over I dread it, as I am forever scraping bits of mashed up sandwich off the sofa.
It seems that the"go with the flow" types think that its also fine for five year olds to wander off during a meal, clutching their food in hand.
Call me a Nazi if you will, but imo, at five and six kids should be eating in a way that isn't disgusting to their table companions, eg, putting food back on their plate rather than dumping it on the table, chewing with their mouths closed, using utensils and making polite conversation!

I agree, all that mess on the floor and wasted food just seem really unnecessary

My DH and ILs are French, there is no way we could have done BLW even if I wanted to!

I did basically the same as NowThen, DS is now a very neat eater and will eat almost anything so I'm happy with how it worked out

NowThen DS1 is not quite three (his birthday is in July) and has better table manners than those you have described, and I think I'm one of those 'go with the flow' types you talk about. I don't like poor table manners either though, and have always insisted that everyone remains at the table (unless you have a good reason to get down) until the meal is finished, and that food stays on plates (apart from DS2 who doesn't usually have a plate yet).

I've met lots of spoonfed babies who have rubbish table manners so I don't think it's anything to do with the method of weaning tbh.

I used to love feeding my babes, as said above, you know when they want the food/ don't want it. Having said that I had finger foods available at all meals too, so maybe a bit of half and half. One of my fave photos is my DD1 face down in a tray full of jelly. Was not a BLW experience, planned as a sensory thing, but babies will be babies...

This thread is strange to me...I had to look up what BLW meant! All three of mine were somewhere between the two methods...sometimes they were spoon fed,sometimes they had finger food..can't imagine beginning weaning without using a spoon, though . That stage didn't last long and they soon only wanted to feed themselves, anyway. But they were always ,at the very least, sat in a high chair or it was pushed up to our table. No wandering about with food!

I am also doing BLW and I'll happily admit it's because
a) I liked the idea
b) I am lazy
c) I think my child would not have responded very well to spoon feeding. He immediately grabs the spoon and tries to do it himself

I have nothing against spoon feeding though, and I have told my DH when he was worried ds would forever play with the food but not eat it that he is very welcome to spoon feed him, but I am not going to fight that battle myself!

I also think that if you wait until 6 months to wean, it is probably more difficult to spoon feed as the child is generally more coordinated and "strong willed" and has more resources to "stop you" from feeding him. Probably I could have spoon feed a lot more easily if I had started at 4 or even 5 months.

We have carpets, we just put newspaper around dd (not that she spills much anymore) or eat in the kitchen. It surprises me that so many hcp's are unaware/against blw in our area it is what it suggested. We did a bit of both as I got too scared when dd gagging.

Oh FFS! Could ppl stop saying that BLW is a new thing, as it's not new, and has been around since the beginning of time. It's just been given a name.
These companies that make baby food etc, gave women a choice on how 2 feed their babies.
If those of you that don't know, babies lose their tongue thrust at around 6 months, and they can chew, therefor being able 2 eat properly with practice.
Dd1 didn't get her 1st tooth til she was 13mo, and used 2 gum her food, and it was eaten. Dd2 however, is 10 months now, and doesn't know when to stop eating, as she's loving food, and has teeth, so can be done with no teeth.
Dd2 doesn't like the spoon either, and snatches off me, and if I dare put anything in her mouth, she pulls it out 2 examine nice

DS1 I tried BLW but he prefered to be fed
DS2 self-fed but now at nearly 3 likes me to feed him sometimes
Now that the weaning days are behind me it's one of thise things that I honestly can't believe anyone gives a fuck about either way

YANBU am surprised at the reaction you got. BLW has always been around, it was just called "feeding" before

that should say eating, not feeding