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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get rid of the T.V?

85 replies

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 12:25

I' sick of staring at it TBH. I've just cancelled Sky (£70 a month saving!!), and I'm going to put the tele on Gumtree.

DH is cool with it. Not sure how the DC will feel (6, 3 and 1)

The Playstation and Wii are going too.

OP posts:

betterwhenthesunshines · 27/04/2012 12:52

We didn' t have a TV growing up as my mum got fed up of the squabbling and we used to be round our neighbours house all the time watching Neighbours! she said it was much better without.

When we were in our Uni house we collectively decided it was the 'default' option so we spent 2 weeks with the screen taped over with newspaper to break the habit and used to chat / listen to music / play silly drinking games instead.

It's very tempting to have it on too much when it's the centre of the room so you do need to make an active decision. It's just a question of changing habits. Can you have music / radio playing instead? Play more games? Re-arrange the furniture so it's not all focussed onthe TV? Buy a TV times and each choose 1 programme a week you'd really like to watch nnd then only watch that, or record it to watch just when you want to?

Original poster

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 12:52

minipie - go to bed and have sex

OP posts:

betterwhenthesunshines · 27/04/2012 12:53

Minipie What are you going to do on those evenings where you and DH want to sit companionably on the sofa but are too knackered to talk much? Lie with you feet up and read a book quietly - bliss!

squidworth · 27/04/2012 12:53

I understand limiting the tv but putting the mac in its place will still be the same as the tv. If having a TV means watching it your will do the same but will instead be watching Internet tv. Just switch it off.

DialsMavis · 27/04/2012 12:53

Do you still watch stuff online BigHairyFlowers? we just got fed up of the logistics after a while. DS would also just stare at other peoples T.Vs it got embarrassing! My best friend has no T.V, but her and her H are genuinely interesting individuals who read lots and engage in proper conversation and activities together.

betterwhenthesunshines · 27/04/2012 12:53

yes, or that!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 27/04/2012 12:54

I agree with SGB - a month cold turkey to work on doing non-TV leisure time is fine but TV (judiciously used) is important - it provides news, entertainment, something to talk about at school, education, debate, music etc etc. Children without TV ARE just as disadvantaged as children who do nothing else but watch TV. There is a balance.

Original poster

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 12:54

Squidworth - but it's not as easy to switch the Mac on for TV... it will take enough time to think twice.

OP posts:

betterwhenthesunshines · 27/04/2012 12:55

Also internet TV EATS your download quota so unless you're on an unlimited download it will cost you a fortune. And you can't multi-task ( do internet food order while DC are quietly watching TV)

Original poster

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 12:55

Exactly - Better. It won't be on as much

OP posts:

BigHairyFlowers · 27/04/2012 12:57

DS is 5. He does still get screen time occasionally - if it's a horrible wet afternoon we will snuggle up in my bed and watch a dvd on my laptop, but he hasn't asked to watch TV at all so replacing it keeps falling down my list of priorities and doubt I ever will replace it now.

GoOnPitch · 27/04/2012 12:58

We don't have a TV and haven't for a few years now.
We do have a computer and the dcs do watch some stuff on the iplayer.
I never do.
DH sometimes watches something, prob once every fortnight.

Just one word of caution: if you intent to sue a computer for the dcs to watch some cartoons, I would advise you to buy a cheap one just for that. They will soon want to put the computer on on their own and it is a recipy for the computer to start playing up .
Much better and safer to keep your nice Mac all for yourself!

I do agree that TV is an issue. Not just the amount kids are watching but the adverts, the watching stuff even if you don't quite like it because there isn't anything else to watch. I thnk it's much better to be in a situation where you have to choose to watch something and learn to take pleasure in other activities (reading, being on MN, talking etc...)

betterwhenthesunshines · 27/04/2012 12:59

But you just need to make it easier on yourself to be more disciplined. It will take a bit of time to break the habit but if there are other interesting things to do, then there's not much time for TV. Or just allow half an hour after school (set the kitchen timer to go off ) or show them what's on and let then choose 1 programme "Ok Dani's house is on at 5 so let's do X until then / you can get your HW done before then"

DialsMavis · 27/04/2012 13:00

I am with you as a strict Luddite parent! seriously, we have a hideous flat screen monstrosity that hangs on the wall, but it was a gift when my Dbro emigrated and our huge old hulk of a T.V barely had a picture anymore. DP works in T.V. and bloody hates watching it!

GoOnPitch · 27/04/2012 13:01

betterwhenthesunshines, I've never had this issue with my internet. Normal quota is OK (and I use the internet a lot for work too).
I can be on MN the internet whilst the dcs are watching something on the iplayer.

Pleasehelpifyoucan · 27/04/2012 13:02

I was one of those children whose parents were anti-TV. It probably did mean we spent more time on creative activities -reading books in my bedroom-- but I hated being out of the loop at school, I didn't know any cartoons, films, bands, anything. Even when we got a TV, it was always rationed.

I haven't gone this route with my children, I've found that it seems to have its place, but there's plenty of time for playing games (RL), drawing, writing (in their secret diaries), playing outside. It's nice to then watch a film together, or for them to veg for a while.

It sounds as if the issue is with you and your husband, and the passive viewing every evening/weekend sport. What does he say about the impending loss of Sky?TV? Computer games? Would he like to spend more quality time together worried you may cause crisisi in your marriage

Original poster

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 13:03

better- I most certainly don't want to be planning - or teaching my kids to plan- around the T.V.

OP posts:

BigHairyFlowers · 27/04/2012 13:03

We were round at someone else's house in the Easter holidays when their TV was on (Mr Tumble!! ), I thought maybe he would be glued to it and was prepared to feel absolutely awful for him and making plans to drop in at comet on the way home.. but he barely glanced at it before going off to play - big phew.

Smugfearnleyshittingstool · 27/04/2012 13:04

sorry two falls but IMO it does ruin kids. My dc don't watch any and are better behaved for it I think, compared to those that I know who watch tv freely. By all means restricting it is better than not, but screen time soon adds up unless you are very on the ball. I find it easier to not have any as my ds in particular would always want more.
My kids honestly can amuse themselves without it, to begin it was hard and they were bored at times, but now, a few years later,they play in the garden together for hours and enjoy lots of handwork at home.

Original poster

DeliaRose · 27/04/2012 13:04

DH thinks it's a fab idea (it was kinds his idea). He's sick of staring at it too.

OP posts:

Pleasehelpifyoucan · 27/04/2012 13:04

better, my mum rationed our TV once we got one to one programme a day, it was awful, watching it whilst feeling the time running out, not being able to relax into it, arguments over who had which one programme.

The easiest thing is to not make watching TV a big deal, but to really enjoy it when you do. I let mine veg sometimes, watching 3/4 hours if they are very tired, safe in the knowledge they do tonnes of activities (structured and just running around) all week and work hard at school. I hate people controlling my downtime and making out they are more virtuous by reading the paper, I hated it as a child and I hate it now (and have the telly on a lot).

DialsMavis · 27/04/2012 13:06

Reading for pleasure went out of the window for me when I got to the 3rd year of my degree. I read so much all day, and stare at computer screen for the rest of it. I just need to do something different for an hour before bed sometimes. I cannot wait to get back into reading again. I think your DC will probably find lots to do rather than watch T.V as they can play together. DS was an only for a long time and I find there is a limit to how long one child can play lego for, then draw, then read, if you are having a day at home. This thread has got me thinking that we may be due for another months break actually. There hasn't been any 3 hour lego sessions lately...

mythical · 27/04/2012 13:08

YANBU if that's the right thing to do for your family.
i can't mindlessly watch tv if i'm not enjoying what is on so i only turn it on when i want to watch something specific or in the morning for news.
We also use it to stream films/iplayer.
My laptop, however.. is a completely different story :o

Ciske · 27/04/2012 13:15

YANBU. DD2.5 got much, much better at imaginative play since I limited TV. It's not banned, but I try to keep it below 1-2 hours a day in short sessions, and then only specific shows instead of wallpaper style, watching one thing after the other.

GPs and DP turn it on very easily and I don't feel it improves her behaviour at all.

AbsofAwesomeness · 27/04/2012 13:40

We have a tv, but it's only for watching DVDs and if we're absolutely desperate, worst case scenario, watch stuff on the internet.

Its' amazing - when you do watch normal TV again, you'll be amazed at how much crap there is, how annoying adverts are etc. Instead, we read, listen to music, chat

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