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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DS (age 6) to do homework

55 replies

SirSugar · 26/04/2012 19:37

its painfull, there are three pieces a week, task, spelling and reading. He can read, writes very neatly, spelling getting there. But, he whines and moans and whines and moans every week- its a real battle and I've tried everything to make it interesting.

DD (14) was never a problem, even at a young age telling me to hurry up and get home as she had homework. DD is highly motivated and tonight is sitting doing hers with DS trying to encourage him. DD is very academic

What is the point? He would rather be doing a host of other things, very creative, chatty, involved in family, lots of friends. I'm not worried about his ability to get on in life.

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 26/04/2012 20:22

YANBU!!

Definately!

RedHotPokers · 26/04/2012 20:26

Worra - I'm pretty sure they get plenty of routine, and plenty of practice at doing things they don't want to do during the hours of 9 and 3.

Anything other than a bit of reading and about a very short piece of work once a week is unreasonable and unfair IMO.

RedHotPokers · 26/04/2012 20:27

For infant school children I mean.

Original poster
SirSugar · 26/04/2012 20:28

reading is not an issue, do that everyday anyway, regardless of whether the school send it home

OP posts:
Grockle · 26/04/2012 20:32

As a parent of a 6 yr old and a teacher, I don't like it either. We get 'projects' to do which are just tedious and time consuming and pointless. I do loads of stuff with DS which he gets far more out of than from his homework. But we do it because I agreed to it when I sent DS to that school. And it teaches him that homework is important. We read everyday and I do think that is important.

MissFaversham · 26/04/2012 20:34

Sis is a teacher and she has always said it's a blood waste of everyone's time, energy and the kids send in shite anyway that's not worth marking and she doesn't blame them in the slightest.

Swatting for GCSE's is another issue entirely.

lurkingaround · 26/04/2012 20:35

They're 6 hours at school. My working day is 8 hours. I would be pretty pissed off if I was told I had to bring work home every week. Why do we think children are any different.

Jinsei · 26/04/2012 20:38

It's not daily at that age though, is it? It's weekly.
It really isn't a Herculean task to learn some spellings and do some reading practice once a week. It's meant to consolidate what they're learning in class, and if nothing else it gets them into a routine for later years when it really is imperative.
They're only little for a short time is a load of bollocks really. 15 minutes a week max? What's the problem?

If it was just a few spellings and some reading practice, there wouldn't be a problem. DD reads loads for pleasure anyway and learns spellings in five minutes flat - if she doesn't already know them. But her homework is much more than this. She gets given a fortnightly project which probably takes her 2-3 hours to complete. My DNephew is the same age at a different school and gets worksheets every night. Hmm

I wouldn't mind a project per term or something, but every two weeks is excessive. She only gets one weekend to work on it, and if we're busy, it has to be done in the week. It's too much IMO after a busy day at school and after-school activities etc. I'd like her to be able to cone home and just relax/play.

thefirstmrsrochester · 26/04/2012 20:40

Missfaversham - SIL is primary school teacher and she has always said just that.
I second starting school age 6/7 as already mentioned up thread.

earlyriser · 26/04/2012 20:45

I wish it was 15 mins a week flogging, tonight my dd's homework took an hour (she is 6). This was reading practice (reading a 22 page book), which takes ages because she is tired and can't focus for very long, and 10 spellings which she had to write out, then write 2 sentences using the words she had just learned.
It is torture, and i strongly feel if it hasn't sunk in in the 6 hours she is at school, what is an extra hour at home going to achieve, however, i'm not totally convinced she does reading everyday at school, so it has to be done even if it makes me want to tear my hair out

GoOnPitch · 26/04/2012 20:56

I feel the need with DS to challenge that he doesn't do school set homework at this stage

Even if you really don't like the idea of homework because you have to spend a lot of time motivating your 6yo instead of having a nice time with him doing jigsaws, I would be really careful of 'challending' the idea that he needs to do some homework.
Because he will know you are going against the will of the teacher who is asking for it. Because in effect he will go against the wish of the teacher too. You need to think about what sort of message you are giving him. Do you want to teach him that he doesn't have to do as the teacher says? Would you be happy for him, when he is 14yo, to say 'Well I don't see the point fo doing this homework so I am not going to do it'?
And what about the time when he will refuse to do whatever the teacher says because he doesn't feel like it. Will challenge her/his autority? Arer you also happy with that?

I know you say that not doing well at school hasn't done you any harm. But are you sure it isn't going to do some harm to him? You know the thing about the fact that everyone is different etc...

We can discuss at length whether it is worth doing some homework or not (I personnally think that it can be very helpful for some children but prob not for all, and esoecially not for those who want to do the homework and have no problem doing it). But the school asked for it. Is it appropriate to go against it?

It prob depends on the amount etc... But a whining child isn't a good enough reason.

ipswichwitch · 26/04/2012 20:59

when i was 7 our teacher used to set us 5 homework questions. bearing in mind this was pre-internet days (old gimmer), these questions usually were along the lines of "which classical composer wrote blah blah blah" (teacher was also piano teacher on w'ends). so no 7 year old is gonna know the answer, which meant the parents would frantically spend the weekend in the library encyclopaedia section.
dont think its so bad kids that age get a bit of reading/writing practice, but setting questions your parents dont know the answers to is a bit far

Annunziata · 26/04/2012 20:59

It is such a lot for the little ones, I remember getting told that our homework was to go out and find a snail and bring it to school! Brilliant! Having said that, I would worry that you were undermining the school and the teacher by telling him not to bother doing it.

GoOnPitch · 26/04/2012 21:01

earlyriser, is it really like this every day?
I've found early on that doing all that in the evening was too much. My dcs do mucg better when they read in the morning instead of after school (more alert and awake). About 15~20min each day.
When I was doing some work with dc2 last year, we were also spending 15 min in the evening doing some phonics etc.. as he was so behind and struggling that he needed the extra work. This year, he doesn't so we don't.
Then there is some homework once a week that take between 5 and 20min depending on what it is and their motivation.
And some spelling that take about 5~10min twice, 3 times a week max.

It's actually quite easy to fit it wo it being an issue ( and spread it!).
The thing that really takes time is the daily reading.

Original poster
SirSugar · 26/04/2012 21:08

If I challenge I will offer an alternative to the teacher; thats if I challenge or just battle on with whats given

OP posts:
earlyriser · 26/04/2012 21:09

Tneoretically the reading should take 15mins i guess, but by page 6, she loses interest, starts to fidget, looks out the window etc. and so takes much much longer. We used to do it in the mornings and i agree it was much easier, but she isn't always up in enough time to do it then either. So do i just not do it and hope that she magically learns to read by osmosis, or set a timer for 10 mins and see how far she gets? I think it is too important to not do it, but fear i will put her off by pushing it too much. sigh. It never takes under 30mins a night to do!

MissFaversham · 26/04/2012 21:27

A whining child at 6 is a very bloody good reason. It's telling everyone that NO, this should not go on.

20 squillion homeworks later the child will no longer whine they will bloody rebel!

x

GoOnPitch · 26/04/2012 21:28

early I don't know in which year you dc is, but dc2 is in Y2 and in 15~20min we spend everyday reading, he never ever reads 22 pages. He reads about half of the book (which has 32 pages atm).
I do read with hom for a certain time. We do what we can in that time. If he hasn't read half the book because he is figeting, not interrested or talking about somethingelse, he hasn't.

Have you checked what the school expects her to do? And how well she is doing, ie do you need to give her an extra push or is she is doing OK?

GoOnPitch · 26/04/2012 21:41

Miss dc2 was whining last year because it was hard work for him to do all the phonics etc...
But as he got better at it, was catching up with what was happening in class, then the whining disappeared.
A year on, he might grumble because he wuld like to do something else but will do his homewrok happily.

Whining is certainly NOT a gauge of whether homework is a good idea or not. It can mean a lot else like:
I don't want to it, I am playing.
It's too hard.
I've already struggled at school all day long, don't want to do it again.
If I whine, I know I will get away with not doing it.
I am tired.
I want to watch TV instead etc....

wolvesdidit · 26/04/2012 21:54

I used to be a teacher (secondary). Most teachers think homework is usually pointless (except GCSE work, reading and finishing off work that the pupil didn't get done in class time). We were always being told by management that we had to set it (to a timetable) as it was what parents wanted and that it would look bad on our OFSTED if they all complained about it. So protest away MNers and get rid of evil homework for all the poor teachers' sakes!

complexnumber · 26/04/2012 21:59

Homework for a 6 y/o is absurd.

Actually, in my view, homework at any age below 12 is a waste of their time

sandyboots · 26/04/2012 22:53

what complexnumber and wolvesdidit said
YANBU
give them back their childhood free time

NarkedPuffin · 26/04/2012 23:02

Grin at 'Academics aren't the bee all and end all'

fullofregrets · 26/04/2012 23:04

I was an infant teacher before becoming sahm and I rarely bothered much about homework. There was pressure from the head to send out more and more but I used to send reading books and spellings. On Friday a maths task. Occasionally some children would ask for more homework as some children do enjoy it and I would happily give it to those children. Or offer a small project or finding out task to Tue class, but in a optional way.
Imo they shouldn't start formal education until 6 and homework is pointless until they are much older. When are they supposed to do anything else? Let's not forget a lot of children now are in after or before school clubs and might have hobbies they want to do in their free time.
Ridiculous.

BackforGood · 26/04/2012 23:36

Of course YANBU.
He's 6 FGS. He already does 6 hours at school, he should be able to come home and relax and enjoy learning in all sorts of other ways - through play, watching stuff on TV, jigsaws, computer, 'playing out', construction toys, imaginative play, chatting with siblings or friends or other family members. Maybe something that is extra curriculum like swimming or dance or football or Beavers or whatever he enjoys. Oh yes, and enjoy having stories read to him, and, if he wants, to read stuff he enjoys. If he wants, of course he can colour or write or do sums (there are lots of computery things than make maths into games, for eg), but that's a long shot from 'set homework.

Oh, and from a teacher's POV, it's a completely pointless waste of everybody's energy to be giving out worksheets or 'challenges', and then following them up each week.

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