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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go to friend's for the weekend when...

25 replies

anneatkins · 26/04/2012 13:35

she keeps talking about what a mess her house is, complaining about all she has to do for us to come, keeps asking us if we're sure we're coming, has bitched about how a 2 year old makes everything harder (yet when they came all 3 of our kids were home on Holidays! lol!), but is constantly on Facebook all day today - AND she's got the umph with me because I want to go home early Sunday, rather than to an event that will not get us on the road till half 3pm for a 2 hour drive home.

I am VERY tempted to just cancel.

Would that be unreasonable?

Thanks!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 13:37

Cancel. She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

catsareevil · 26/04/2012 13:37

Why wouldnt you cancel this?

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 26/04/2012 13:41

I would cancel, and then cancel the friendship too!

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 13:42

Yes cancel visit, friendship and defriend on Facebook. Job done.

IAmBooyhoo · 26/04/2012 13:43

she bitched about your 2 year old making things harder or her own 2 year old?

BibiBelle · 26/04/2012 13:44

Ah ha ha ha, a friend of mine has just asked me if this is me posting!!!!

She sounds like an arse who is trying to get out of having you visit, just say you'll arrange it for another time as she sounds so stressed.

Oh and BTW, she might not be on FB all day, my phone shows me as permanantly logged on when I'm not!

Original poster

anneatkins · 26/04/2012 13:50

No, she posts stuff every 2 or 3 minutes. Literally. A comment, an image, whatever.

Iam: Her 2 year old. (Thank all that is Holy! Mine are 5 yo twins and 4 yo!)

This was planned in FEBRUARY (lol!) and she is wigging out because her house is a mess and that she has to clean her son's room etc and it's hard with him there and I am just like - but you had since February.

Inside I don't even wanna go anymore. I would rather pull my eyelashes out with tweezers.

I am sorry Bibi! I wondered if even I should post under a fake name.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 13:57

2 hour drive as well? Cancel!

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 13:58

WTF? Just WTF?

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 13:58

Sorry wrong thread.

Rhubarbgarden · 26/04/2012 14:01

Cancel. Or if you do go, make it the last visit. My brother was like this last time I stayed with him - I haven't been back.

Original poster

anneatkins · 26/04/2012 14:05

@ Sparkling: Well I was thinking same - WTF - so post is still apropos.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 14:06

Wrong but right at the same time.

BibiBelle · 26/04/2012 14:16

I'd honestly say you're not going. It sounds like you're going to have to be grateful for her efforts the entire time you're there so sod it and enjoy a nice relaxed family weekend instead!

olgaga · 26/04/2012 14:28

If you want to keep her friendship just say "look, let's not bother, let's just relax this weekend. We can always do it another time - when things aren't so fraught".

To be fair, she might be finding things difficult at the moment, sometimes it's hard to get the motivation to do anything when you've got small children. I'm sure we've all been there.

You don't have to make a bit thing of it!

exexe · 26/04/2012 14:30

I would cancel and say you feel guilty putting her to so much trouble when she's obviously got a lot on.

leftmysociallifeatthedoor · 26/04/2012 14:35

maybe shes just saying all this so you arent expecting a perfect house? maybe shes nervous? having a 2 year old is quite hard.

also, whats wrong with a 2 hour drive starting at 330pm? we regularly do that with out 5yo and 19mo?

Mrsjay · 26/04/2012 14:51

cancel she sounds like she cant be arsed to tidy her house and is stressing about it , Im sure you dont care if her house is untidy , go and maybe stay elsewhere ,

Original poster

anneatkins · 26/04/2012 15:08

The issue with 2 hour drive Sunday afternoon is that I like to have dinner done and kids in bath by 6pm, to get ready for Monday, and I won't be home all weekend to do the normal stuff Xx

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 26/04/2012 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Groovee · 26/04/2012 15:48

I would tell her that seeing as she's finding it too hard to have you this weekend, you've decided not to waste petrol.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 26/04/2012 15:54

I'm with olgaga; cancel for your own sake but make it sound as though you're doing it for hers .

If she's genuinely just finding things tough, not going this weekend will give her a break.

She could just be being a cow, of course.

olgaga · 26/04/2012 17:04

The issue with 2 hour drive Sunday afternoon is that I like to have dinner done and kids in bath by 6pm, to get ready for Monday, and I won't be home all weekend to do the normal stuff Xx

Well that's completely fair - I would be the same with young children otherwise it can turn into a complete nightmare.

Do what you think is right, but it's nobody's fault. Socialising, keeping things going, is really hard when they're young. Just be kind to yourselves!

curiositykitten · 26/04/2012 17:07

OP - totally offtopic, but are your twins A and S boys and a girl R?

Original poster

anneatkins · 26/04/2012 17:54

and yeah, normally a 2 hour drive is nothing - but on Sundays I like to have everyone settled and ready to go for Monday, etc.

OP posts:

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