What can I do with him?!

[JustCantCopeWithThis]

I've got a 9 month old son and he's brilliant - really. Ever since he was born he's been easy-going, relaxed and happy. Three teeth have come through with minimal fuss, he's got a great routine and sticks to it pretty well. He sleeps in his own room in his cot and normally goes down without a fight.

But for the last week he's been like the AntiChild. Seriously. He's been surgically attached to me, he refuses to go to sleep, he screams blue murder whenever I put him down/try to play with him/give him to his daddy. Everything is a struggle all of a sudden and I'm falling apart at the seams. He fights me on everything and I'm starting to fray around the edges because he's up in the nights for no reason, he will refuse a bottle and will want to just sit there with me for hours.

I've even had to stop taking him to his playgroup because he wouldn't play with the children he normally plays with, and he even hit one girl who came up to me to say hello!

What can I do? Seriously? I'm beginning to crack. If he were a little bit grumpy before and then a lot grumpy now, I could handle that. But it's the really dramatic switch from angel to devil that's got me worried.

Any advice?

Welcome to the clingy phase. Its like they suddenly realise that they are not part of you and decide they want to be. With mine I used to put them on the floor and sit beside them. If they tried to climb on me I would just sit them back down. Yes they cried but soon copped that I was still going to be there and they were fine sitting by themselves. If I was up and about doing things I would be yabbering away to them whilst they mooched around.

As for playgroups,babies dont tend to play with others.They will react to stimuli but not so much play. Small children don't tend to have any sense of personal space and babies don't have the sense that a slap will hurt.
Your baby sounds perfectly normal.

breathe, it is normal any medical issues aside( if in doubt check with gp) it will pass. Dont stop going to group/friends/shops etc anyone thats says they havent been through this is lying.

Eventually he will revert back to himself but for what ever reason right now he wants to fight you so relax make sure hes safe and pour yourself a cuppa. Call a friend bitch rant moan then look at him and remember his good points.

My DD was greatuntil a month ago and wouldnt sleep infact she would go down as normal and then as i went to bed (10pm) shed wake.

Its true its a stage it will pass keep breathing

Really? Thank God for that, I honestly thought there was something seriously wrong. He's my first (and only) little one so sorry if the question was a bit obvious.

He's driving me utterly spare though. Won't do anything unless he's attached to me like a monkey! Wish they did carriers that don't kill your back, that way I could just get everything done!

There are lots of carriers that shouldn't hurt your back. What are you using?

Sure we were all novices on our firsts.

I remember on DC1,she had been very clingy and wailed when I put her down. My Mum brought over a playpen,put DC in it,she wailed,I wa put sitting and Mum got me a cuppa. She told me that taking five minutes was not neglectful and a little crying was not going to kill DC. Best piece of advice I ever got.

It completely normal he learning about the world and be honest it is pretty scary and he wants his mama. However agree Bananas leave to cry for a bit will not kill them if need to get something done or just need a minute.

We had this special carrier that was meant to ease my back pain but it worked about as well as a chocolate fireguard!

And it doesn't help that I'm not well, so my nerves are shot before I even get up to DS.

I feel so cruel - I'm sitting here having a cup of tea and a sandwich because I hadn't had breakfast and he's just sat with his hands in his lap and his head hanging down, sobbing big fat tears. I feel so horrible. I know it won't ill him but it might kill me! Poor boy.

oh sending you a hug it is hard being a Mum but it will all be OK

Could you try a sling instead? I've got a moby wrap for dd2 and just wish I'd had it for dd1.
They spread the weight better than carriers and are really versatile.

And the clinginess will pass. Tis hard though, but at least now you know it's normal!

DS was like this, I remember being shattered and having permanent backache and headache.

One thing that helped for us was to have a 'treasure basket'. I got a big box and went round the house, filling it with safe but interesting things e.g. conkers, pine cones, tupperware, spatulas, little pots filled with lentils/rice and sealed, teaspoons, colander and a silicon basting brush (his favourite). Also noisy, beepy, flashy toys. I only brought it out when I needed to do something like cooking or to have a five minute break so it remained fresh and interesting.

I like that idea!

Seriously, this is getting ridiculous now. He woke up after three hours of sleep and screamed until i rocked him to sleep, then when I tried to put him down he woke the whole household up. Had to have him sleep in our bed for the very first time.

The only way I can get him to play quietly is if he's playing with something that he really shouldn't be, like yesterday when he managed to pull out all of Nana's photo negatives from a drawer.

Hoovering while carrying a baby is a pain in the neck. Must Google slings...

I can really sympathise. My DS turned into a clingon at 11 months and is just starting to let go now at 14 months.

He used to go down to bed at night with just a cuddle and a kiss, then screamed if I left the room and carried on screaming. I didn't want to do CC but found a good suggestion on MN which I've been doing and can now sometimes put him down and leave him without it sounding like he's been mortally hurt!

As for clinging during the day I just talk to him wherever I am. So if I leave him to go to the loo I chat to him and tell him what I'm doing. To be honest he's usually followed me and found me by then, but it helps calm the crying a little. And he is getting so much less clingy now that he even goes off exploring by himself when we are at friends'.

It will pass. Just give lots of cuddles and reassurance and tell him what you are doing. And if you are going bonkers he will be ok crying while you sit for a few minutes and have a cuppa, hard as it is.

My 10mo DS has just started being clingy too. He's been so independent up 'til now and I've loved it, so this dramatic change has been hard to cope with!

Question to the more experienced mums: when (approximately) does the clingy phase wear off? please don't say never

Herrena - my DS grew out of it when he learned to walk confidently and his opportunities for mischief increased.