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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that a 4 yr old shouldn't be told she isn't the required standard for this

28 replies

flibbertywidget · 26/04/2012 01:14

last week, my friend took my DD to a trampoline club/class that her DD goes to. My DD is 5 next week. She has a trampoline at home and enjoys playing on it.

fast forward to today. I emailed the woman running the class and asked her when DD could start and she has emailed me back saying "your DD is not the required standard to join the competitive part of the club".

I have nearly fallen off my chair. I get that sport is competitive. I used to go to trampoline classes myself to meet boys for a couple of years. I am not particularly bothered if my daughter wants to take it up or not. I just thought it would be a nice thing for her to go to with her friend.

is this a bit over the top? I am genuinely shocked. I have emailed the teacher back and told her that I am a little concerned as to how they can "judge" a child's potential on a taster session and how damaging it could be to tell a child they are not of the required standard, whatever that standard maybe.

I actually didn't know it was the competitive part of the club. Perhaps I needn't be so concerned in that case?

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 26/04/2012 01:17

nobody told a 4 year old she wasn't the required standard though.

minimisschief · 26/04/2012 01:18

why not have her join the non competitive part of the club.

Sirzy · 26/04/2012 01:18

If its a competitive club then I don't see the problem. Find a for fun one instead!

northcountrygirl · 26/04/2012 01:20

That's insane! My son is actually a really good gymnast (he's 11) and has loads of badges and stuff. And at 4 he pretty much jumped up and down on a trampoline.

What more can they be expected to do at that age (safely and without being taught)?

I'd ask around and find a better club. My son's club is locally thought of as the best in my town. And it's the best because they encourage children of ALL abilities to enjoy gymnastics - whether that be joining the competition troupe, or just going to have fun, or somewhere inbetween.

Shanghaidiva · 26/04/2012 01:22

They didn't tell your child she is not at the required standard, they told you. How you communicate that to your daughter is up to you. If it's a competitive club then they are not being unreasonable.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 26/04/2012 01:26

But that's the point northcountrygirl - the parent has simply been told her DD is not up to the std required to join the competitive part of the club - no one said she couldn't join the fun part!!

OP^^ Depends if she wants to go anyway or only if she can go with her friend really doesn't it. It's a shame she can't go with her friend, but maybe if she joins the other part she'll be able to 'move up' after a while??

northcountrygirl · 26/04/2012 01:33

Ah yes - missed that part! I didn't read it properly and thought she was being excluded from the entire club.

That DOES make more sense...

Damn insomnia...

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 26/04/2012 01:38
Grin
northcountrygirl · 26/04/2012 01:44

Well I've got 5 hours til I have to be up but can't see sleep on the horizon. Trying to bore myself to sleep but fear I'm just boring everyone else Grin

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 26/04/2012 02:05

LOL- nah, doubt it, the late night crew are easily amused!! I am going to shut the laptop down now or I will still be here when it's time to get up. Going to count fluffy sheet or something... hope sleep comes to you soon!!

smupcakes · 26/04/2012 04:45

I would interpret that as she wasn't able to follow the directions / stay focussed rather than she didn't have the physical skills?

FallenCaryatid · 26/04/2012 05:51

OP, why did you think the woman running the club had told your daughter anything at all about her ability or maturity or standard?
When she responded to your email, she thought she was talking to an adult. Confused

Chocafookinholic · 26/04/2012 06:20

Yabu. Is your dd your pfb? Wink

As others said it was you who was told not your dd. All you have to tell her is they idn't have any spaces left. I wouldn't bother with a competitive club for a 4yr old anyway.
Tbh you and your dd are going to have a tough time of things if you get upset about her not getting into a trampolining club aged 4yrs! There will be plenty of things she can't do brilliantly (my dc are pretty dire at sport) but you just stand on the sideline cheering and not moaning about the fact they weren't picked for the school team Hmm

MrsKittyFane · 26/04/2012 06:31

Ask your friend ( who took her to trampolining) what happened on this taster session.
Did your DD follow instructions/ do as she has been asked?
Can your friend shed any light on this e-mail?

MrsKittyFane · 26/04/2012 06:37

To add, is this woman saying no to the competitive side of the club and saying that there is another class more suitable or is she saying no we don't have anywhere for your DD?

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 26/04/2012 07:37

It stands to reason that if she's never learnt to do it, she won't be up to competitive standard. I don't see anything wrong with telling her that she has to learn and practise to get good, same as she does with everything else she's learning.

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 07:41

That's madness. Of course she isn't of any standard yet as she's my started lessons. Surely it's the teacher's job to 'get' her to the required standard < although until your post I didn't realise there was such a thing as competitive trampolining!>

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 07:41

Sorry auto correct it should say because she hasn't started lessons!

pigletmania · 26/04/2012 07:46

op she did not tell you dd but you, very different. When i was 5 i chuckedout- told not to come to ballet anymore, i have dyspraxia and was totally uncoordinated, no biggie I took up something else instead.

bigTillyMint · 26/04/2012 07:53

But your DD hasn't been told, has she? They have told you, and you are an adult and can choose how/what you say to your DD.

And she may be able to join the non-competitive part of the club?

And I agree, ask your friend what happened at the try-out - did her DD get in? Why was that?

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2012 08:28

There's a hell of a difference between a class and a club. Find a different class for her.

saintlyjimjams · 26/04/2012 08:40

Did she misunderstand you? Is there a non-competitive class. I didn't even know 4 year olds could compete in trampolining!

Bubbaluv · 26/04/2012 08:59

Ask what skills she needs to master to be able to join the comp part of the club. That way she can practise at home. If she joins the non-comp part of the club and practises at home she'll catch up in no time.

YABU

gymmummy64 · 26/04/2012 10:02

You probably don't need this much detail, but here goes!

My daughters both do competitive trampolining, one of them to a very high standard and we attend a trampolining club up to 4 times a week. I am also a trampolining judge.

I don?t think it is possible to form a useful judgement on a 4 yo that has never trampolined before for competitive potential in a single session. And why would you want to? 4 is too young to compete and too little to be particularly good. However, you do get some ferociously competitive and precious gyms and gym coaches out there and maybe she fell foul of one of these.

Any gym that was any good would be looking at all their recreational gymnasts over a period of time and considering their potential for compeititve squad training if the club is divided up that way - many are. 4 would still be too young in my opinion though.

It may also be as suggested previously, that your dd didn?t show much focus or concentration. Again, any gym/coach that?s any good should be very used to that at age 4!

The gym you went to/coach your dd saw may have assumed you were wanting her assessed for squad ? silly at 4 for trampolining imo. However, when dd1 was 5 she was at one of the top artistic (bars, beam, vault , floor ? think Beth Tweddle) gyms in the country. There they picked girls out of the rec classes for squad aged 4/5 and they would then train 7 hours a week, rising to 10 hours at 7 and any number of hours from 8/9 depending on their potential. My daughter did this. It?s completely standard for artistic gyms which start intensive training much earlier than for trampolining. If you have never been involved in girls? gymnastics, you would have no idea of the intense and competitive nature of it all ? and that?s just the parents! Having said that, some girls that age could spend double that amount of time training in the gym quite happily (DD1) whereas many (eg DD2) would be completely unsuited to it.

Obviously you are not remotely looking for any of that and just want your daughter to enjoy some jumping, but sometimes it can go with the territory. Our club would be absolutely fine with a recreational 4 yo and I would imagine most others would be too, but maybe you went to a particularly ferocious one?!

Original poster
flibbertywidget · 28/04/2012 00:41

Thanks everyone. for your replies.

Sorry late in reply, work has been mega hectic.

So to answer to everyone. The reason I had asked my friend to take my DD along is that we often tag team on pick up after school and we thought it would make our lives easier if both DD's went to same club after school. They are BF's and go to ballet together and swimming. Her DD already goes to trampolining. She is about 7 months older than my DD and has been going for about 8 months or so

Had I realised it was the competitive part of the club, I would have said not to bother. I am not into that at this age, just want her to have fun and make up her mind.

I asked my friend, but she didn't have anything to say about it, really. So I spoke to the teacher and she said it is because my DD wouldn't point her toes. Which made me laugh a bit.

Anyway. all dealt with.

I have no issue with her not being good enough, I was just a bit shocked at the attitude toward kids so small. I appreciate they didn't tell her and told me, but still it's a bit Shocking. And yes she is my PFB Wink. Although not quite so precious tonight after finding my nail polish!

OP posts: