to not want bf at the birth

[bumptobabies]

we live separately, im 7 months pregnant,he has lost my trust and respect bit by bit. hes charming charismatic and loving in public behind closed doors hes crabby, immature and needy. unable to hold the context of anything, i was going through a court case last year as i was raped so was a bit distant in our relationship understandably id say he thought i was pushing him away so sulked the whole time ive since got back on top of things, im a therapist so im emotionally resourceful.

last month i was in hospital and he moaned more about his ailments, he looked after my 8yr old son and forgot to feed him for a day. if i dont spell everything out it dosnt get done. even to ask if i need any help shopping or cleaning. on sunday he points out that i havnt called him since jan, reality is i called him 3 times last week arrrgh such childish behavior and were 38, i feel he would just irritate me at the birth and not sure i want him round much after either. maybe once a week what do you think ladies and gents?

God I wouldn't have him there either! For all the reasons in your OP.

Once a week (supervised since he can't be trusted to remember to feed) sounds ample.

sounds like he could be one of your clients?
Therapists are usually attracted to complex characters but he sounds like a very black and white perhaps is he on the Autistic spectrum?]
YADNBU look after the baby first

yep he could certainly be a client, im mindfull not to step into that role, yup supervised is what im thinking too also need to look into legalities re birth certificate csa etc he has agreed to give £200 a month but should really pay almost double on his salary though as with many in this situation he dosnt declare it all arrgh no integrity.

Good Lord.How come you let him knock you up?

that did make me chuckle, unfortunatley hes a talk the talk not walk the walk kinda guy and silly me not at my strongest given pending court case believed in him rather than the reality, i will definatley miss the way he touches me ahhh

Oh dear..

You may have to accept whatever he wishes to offer with regard to child support as if he's self employed (which I'm assuming he is) he may turn out to be rather "slippery".

I don't know about the birth certificate. I know the law changed and gave parental responsibilty to both parents names on the certificate but I don't know how easy it is to pursue child support if the father is not named. I think other people on here will know more about this though so it may be worth bumping in the morning.

Are you going to be OK for money? Have you sorted out what benefits you will be entitled to (if applicable)?

thanks ncg ill be okay ive always had enough and yup i will take the offer i want to keep things amicable, whats bumping?

It means "bring up my thread". If you post on it, it brings it to the top of the board again.

Just make sure you claim what you're entitled to. Look at www.turn2us.org.uk/

When I split up with my ex I didn't think I would be entitled to anything, but I was, and it all helps. You're not self employed are you? Cos if you are things are a little different.

When I say "different" I actually mean "can be advantageous"

Back to the original question; no, I wouldn't want him there either. Looking back I think I'd have been better off giving birth with my mum or on my own rather than with my ex-husband. You've got enough to worry about without being concerned about someone who's rather flakey!