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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to send my 6 yr old DS back to bed even though he said he was ill

20 replies

lycheejelly · 25/04/2012 21:18

My DS has complained he has a tummy ache most nights for the last few weeks. A bit of sympathy and a story cured most of them. Have given him Milk of Magnesia a few times. He is always better in the morning, not waking in the night and not complaining at school or at any other point in the day.

Today he has a story before bedtime and was lying down in his bed for about 15 mins for it (I wanted to see if lying down bothered him). When I said goodnight he said he had just remembered his tummy hurt. When I asked why he hadn't mentioned it before he said he was enjoying the story too much to notice. So I told him he was fine and left. 20 mins later he was up crying saying he felt sick. After waiting in the bathroom with him for a bit I sent him back to bed with a bowl and told him to stop being silly and go to sleep. He went to sleep shortly afterwards.

Now I'm thinking I should clamp down on this mystery bedtime stomach ache, but the guilt part of me wonders if he really is okay. So, what do you think? He is getting increasingly tired in the day because he is getting to bed later. Would I be unreasonable to send him straight back to bed with a bit of a telling off if he is up again tomorrow?

OP posts:

TiredTits · 25/04/2012 21:21

Straight back to bed, he is playing you!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 25/04/2012 21:21

Is he happy at school or is something troubling him do you think? Sometimes worries can manifest as tummy pain in small children.

Bossybritches22 · 25/04/2012 21:22

Maybe not a telling off but a bit of ignoring. Could he be slightly constipated? That can be painful but in a more spasmy way.

A warm bath prior to bed &/or a hot water bottle to ease the discomfort but no other fussing would be my choice but only you can tell if he's putting it on!

Chrysanthemum5 · 25/04/2012 21:26

Is it a sign of something else? Does he want more of your attention? Instead of milk of magnesia I'd offer him a camomile tea and sit with him while he drinks it.

Or it maybe constipation?
Either way don't let him stay up layebut do listen to him

Original poster

lycheejelly · 25/04/2012 21:28

Thanks all. I've asked his teacher and he is happy at school. He comes home full of beans and chatting about his day. Bossy, I've tried the hot water bottle and upping his fruit and veg intake.

OP posts:

bronze · 25/04/2012 21:30

Mine sometimes try it on. My reply tends to be that the best place for an ill peson is in bed

Original poster

lycheejelly · 25/04/2012 21:30

Chrysanthemum, that is what I don't know. I've changed around bedtime routines so he gets 45 mins - 1 hr of one on one time before bed.

OP posts:

Bossybritches22 · 25/04/2012 21:30

Ah well keep up the fibre & plenty of water, & a hot water bottle at bed time with firm "Night Night" big hug& leave.

Just trying it on maybe? :)

FuckTheFuckOff · 25/04/2012 21:32

Unless mine are crying in pain or being sick they get put to bed, harsh? Possibly but I was queen of pretending to be ill to stay up later when I was little.

Anxiety does cause tummy aches so unless there is something on his mind I'd say he's playing you.

LittlePicnic · 25/04/2012 21:46

Sounds like worry or anxiety or just getting more time/ contact with you

Peppin · 25/04/2012 22:00

My DS (10) is an expert "tummy ache" player and although it is nonsense, it is also usually a sign of "I want to be with you, Mummy". I work long hours and, although I used to be quite "pull yourself together" about it, I am much softer now. I let him or DD get in bed with me when they do this, as I think they just want reassurance that when they express an "I need you" feeling, it will be accepted.

It sounds as though you're confident your DS is fine in himself, but maybe a few minutes of extra time - though not too much - when he does this, will reassure him.

Remember: before you know it he'll be 16 and not interested! My heart dropped the other day when my DS said "Mummies aren't cool, Mummy. You're not cool." But I knew this to be true...

HedgingWithASledgehog · 25/04/2012 22:05

Could his back teeth be coming in? My DD is nearly 6 and has had the same thing, complaining of tummy ache at bedtime only, and often a sore throat too. I checked and saw new molars - I thought teething was over and done with!

Heavensmells · 25/04/2012 22:22

My 6yo ds does the my tummy hurts thing at bedtime (and when asked to do something he doesn't like).
If he's eating normally and going to the toilet regularly I'm sure he's fine.
I usually just tell him that sleep will make it better and we have discussed crying wolf a few times too

Original poster

lycheejelly · 25/04/2012 22:29

Thanks, all.

OP posts:

smupcakes · 26/04/2012 04:50

When I was young (6-10) I used to be so anxious at night time I would get the most unbearable stomach aches. I can still remember the pain of them. By all other accounts I seemed a fairly normal child (I think)... So he may not be making it up - I'd explore further if I were you.

sashh · 26/04/2012 05:29

What about the tummy ache fairy?

She flies around all night and she can see tummy aches in children and if she sees a tummy ache she has to catch it, because that is what she eats, but she can only do that if a child is asleep. If he doesn't go to sleep the tummy ache fairy will go hungry.

jubilee10 · 26/04/2012 06:49

Ds3, 5.10yrs does this. His is mostly at bedtime but can happen at other times too. My dh thinks he is putting it on but I think it's genuine. I'm sure it is 'anxiety' based. It can be worse if we have too much on.

I had stomach migraine as a child and was not believed by anyone other than my mum and I'm sure that was anxiety related.

valiumredhead · 26/04/2012 08:31

What littlepicnic posted.

Merrin · 26/04/2012 10:26

How about taking him to the Dr? If he is making it up it might go away, if its physical the Dr could help and if its caused by worry etc you might get to the bottom of it if its investigated.

Original poster

lycheejelly · 28/04/2012 19:48

Thanks for all your advice everyone. Following on from what several people said, I've been staying with him for a bit after I've turned the light out. Now he knows I will do this, he has stopped complaining about stomach ache. I think he is adjusting to the fact that it is taking him a bit longer to go to sleep than it used to.

OP posts:

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