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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quick answers needed - am i horrible?

52 replies

GreatBallsOfFluff · 25/04/2012 18:18

DD's birthday today. I had a half day at work today because of it and I brought her out for tea. Rather then having 'the usual' (not just here, it's the safe bet if ever eating out) she chose something from the adult menu which she has only had once before. Now she won't eat it. i have told her she's not having anything else all evening (she ate the potatoes and some peas). This isn't a one off. She is more a grazer then a three meals person but I feel a bit mean as we were talking about sharing the big choc sundae for two when we came in.

But it's her birthday

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 25/04/2012 18:26

If she's just turned 7, YWBU to let her order an adult portion.

She's excited

It's her birthday

Some restaurant portions could feed 2 or 3 kids.

I'd give in today as it's her Birthday...but be stricter if she does it at other times.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 25/04/2012 18:27

If I ordered something in a restaurant that I then didn't like the look of when it arrived, I wouldn't eat it. So I wouldn't expect a little girl to either. I'd probably get her a bowl of chips and then share the ice cream as planned.

Side note - I also wouldn't MN while sitting in a restaurant with her on her birthday.

GoingToThePark · 25/04/2012 18:29

Agreed marymary why go on the Internet when you are out celebrating her birthday?? Poor little one.

Original poster
GreatBallsOfFluff · 25/04/2012 18:29

Ok its ordered i feel horrible now. it is a longstanding issue though. I think what also annoyed me was that because this came with butter on it when the one she had tried before hadn't, she immediately said she was full and that she wouldn't try it

OP posts:
Original poster
GreatBallsOfFluff · 25/04/2012 18:30

Ps she's in children's play area

OP posts:
theodorakis · 25/04/2012 18:31

I am always happy to clear the plates of fussy eaters but i would say i deserved a bigger share of the sundae. In my family everyone orders things they know I like so they don't get a bollocking for not eating it.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 25/04/2012 18:31

sounds as if you are making a big issue of food tbh, its her Bday she gets what she wants. I agree adult portion for a 7 year who doesnt eat well is asking for exactly this scenario. BUT give her some credit for wanting to try something new.

WorraLiberty · 25/04/2012 18:31

I hope you're in the restaurant toilet posting this OP

Otherwise you're showing a very bad example to you DD!

Anyway, hope she enjoys the rest of her evening Smile

CheerfulYank · 25/04/2012 18:33

I don't much care for picky eating but I say go for it as it's her birthday. :)

And as long as a kid tries some of the food it's fine in my book.

TrinityRhino · 25/04/2012 18:34

your'e making a huge issue of food especially on her birthday

yes you are being mean but as a mum of two fussy eaters I cant understand why

but have the ice cream and think before you threaten next time

at least she agreed to ordering something new...

FeakAndWeeble · 25/04/2012 18:34

Don't feel horrible, you were just trying to be consistent and educate your DD about food and consequences bla bla. Which is Very Good Mummying.

But it's her birthday so you got her her Sundae anyway, which is Very Lovely Mummying.

Hope you both have a lovely rest of the day.

WhiteTrash · 25/04/2012 18:39

Aww shes only little.

DublinMammy · 25/04/2012 18:42

I would let her have the ice-cream since you have already discussed having it with her. Otherwise you risk not only putting ice-cream on some sort of "treat" pedestal (and she will whine for it) but also she may, as others have suggested, make a link between trying something new and being punished if she then doesn't like it.

Pleasehelpifyoucan · 25/04/2012 18:43

Well, if you want her to remember this as the birthday meany mummy didn't let her have an ice-cream, go ahead.

Really, I think this is ridiculous. There's 364 days a year to enforce good eating behaviour, why pick today to make an example of her.

balia · 25/04/2012 18:43

My beloved Dad always says 'No fights over food' and that eating should be a pleasurable experience. Plus putting pressure on kids to eat food they don't want or clear their plate sets them up for over-eating when they are older, they say. Not sure who 'they' are, mind you.

voddiekeepsmesane · 25/04/2012 19:00

Its her birthday FGS. In our house you can do NO wrong on your birthday (obviously within limits) but not eating something newish is not cause for concern on a birthday.

I remember having this kind of draconian type of behaviour from my father and having had many a happy special meal (birthday, christmas etc) ruined and me just wishing we hadn't bothered.

Do you really need those memories held by your DD? You can relax rules every now and again and it won't be the end of the world!

GateGipsy · 25/04/2012 19:02

oh please let us know that you gave her what she wanted for her birthday. I'd sleep better tonight knowing that she had a good day (after all it IS her birthday!)

YABU

SecretSquirrels · 25/04/2012 19:09

Do you realise how many birthdays you will celebrate with her before she's all grown up?
Not enough to spoil one.

FeakAndWeeble · 25/04/2012 19:11

FGS the OP has said she bought the fecking ice cream.

Stop making her feel bad. She also said she feels horrible.

imogengladheart · 25/04/2012 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

voddiekeepsmesane · 25/04/2012 19:18

FeakAndWeeble I am so sorry if I made the OP feel horrible but as far as I am concerned it was a horrble thing to do.

Ask on IABU and get answers quickly but not necessarily what you want to hear....tough...don't post if you don't want to hear it.

I only wrote my experiences, and my experiences say she did the wrong thing in this instance. That is not to say I am saying that she is a bad mum or anything.

Original poster
GreatBallsOfFluff · 25/04/2012 19:19

Lol seriously gategipsy? She's had a fantastic birthday. She got what she wanted and more. We were up until late last night baking fairy cakes for breakfast club as when it's someone's birthday they're allowed to bring in cakes for after breakfast. I also bought her sweets to hand out to her class at the end of the day which is another tradition that seems to be at the school Hmm .

She is also having her first sleepover with three friends coming round this weekend where we are doing a certain activity then going to pizza hut.

Is that ok?

The whole food thing really is a bugbear for financial reasons as well as all the other reasons. She used to think nothing of leaving a meal (which she asked for) then half an hour later asking for crisps/apple/sandwich etc but then leave that too so I've had to put my foot down which I've been doing for about the last 6 months or so. But honestly she's not deprived.

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 25/04/2012 19:22

I'd take the food home in a doggy bag and eat myself tomorrow. And get her the ice cream.

Noqontrol · 25/04/2012 19:23

Ahh just realised she got the icecream. Hope you all had a lovely day.

Original poster
GreatBallsOfFluff · 25/04/2012 19:24

Absolutely voddie - i didn't want people to come and pat my hand and say "there there you did the right thing". I felt horrible cos on reflection it was horrible and i was letting my annoyance of a long standing issue get in the way of the day.

thank you everyone am off for the evening now to spend more time with dd.

OP posts: