I am tired of being the extended family's travel agent and holiday planner!!

[LucyGoose]

My inlaws live in UK, are very lovely people but are very needy at times and are not modern - i.e. they do not own a computer or know how to book a flight online, know how to use email or own a credit card. They pay everything in cash or direct debit, they live very modestly. They only got passports for the first time ever to come here for our wedding.

For their holidays when they come here to US East Coast to where we live, I book their flights & hotel and we just stay in the area. They are passive aggressive at times, and always say they are "easy" but this just means you make a suggestion and they tell you they are ok with whatever you want, but when you get there, its clear they are not interested or look really bored.

Now it seems, they want to go to Cape Cod, (in August high season) and of course, I have to plan this and book everything. Since they do not have a credit card, my husband and I are expected to shell out for their tickets over, and deposit on B&B and they will pay us back. Also, I am the driver and have to deal with the rental car from Boston to Cape Cod. Total costs I would have to put out before any spending money is $3,400 for their tickets/B&B deposit alone!
The money is not the issue, I can pay this and wait to be paid back, but its just the assumptions.

I am just feeling a bit put upon, that they just assume I will do everything as I have done in the past, but this isn't like the normal holidays in the past where they come to our area, this is a proper driving holiday and I am in charge of all logistics - its takes a lot of planning to do this for 5 days.

IABU to be seriously annoyed??

Alibaba I never said I wouldn't pay or give my husband the money. I actually said I can wait to be paid back. I am just fed up with everyone assuming I will do all this holiday planning that isn't as easy as it looks.

Well then your argument is with your DH, not your ILs.

This passive aggressive, "we're too old to understand basic changes in society over the last 30 years, so you do it" kills me. I used to get it a lot from late MIL. Again, trans-atlantic joint travel planning was the worst, "oh whatever, we're easy" followed up by "gee, I guess it isn't what we really expected it to be, oh well, you weren't to know".

3 options; Suck it up, Pick a fight with your DH (He probably figured out the knack of avoiding the demands of his parents years before you even met) or go balls in and pick a fight with your PIL.

It sucks, alas such is the complicated drama of modern life.

Oh, and someone needs to tell them to get a decent credit card, that is ridiculous.

Well I do find separate accounts odd once children are on the scene. DH and I used to have seperate finances until we married and now we've got two DCs I can't imagine how we'd keep things seperate

If you're not worried about waiting to be paid back, I think this is being blown slightly out of proportion. The money side of things is the only thing that would bother me greatly in this situation, and that doesn't appear to be a major concern of yours.

Why should the DH do it just because they are his parents - I find this attitude so odd - I used to expect my Dh to do things for my parents as I would do things for his, marriage is a partnership after all surely.

midori got it in a nutshell! Damned if I do, damned if I don't....

Since I already had the argument with DH last night, its going to be this: have them get a travel book in advance so they can't moan about what there is to do, and have DH sort out the B&B.

I will give them the prices on Sat and they can decide what they want to do.

Thanks everyone - best of luck with your holiday planning!

Urgh Cape Cod in August sounds awful. Could you not just stick them on the ferry to P'Town and let them find their own way? mean