To expect a call...

[Notanothertext]

..and not a courtesy text. I'm feeling a bit sensitive and probably over reacting but after being unwell and a bit down I don't hear from my mother other than a text to say 'hope you're better now'. When I didn't reply, another 'all ok?' the following day and when I thought she'd get the MSG and pick up the phone DH receives a text to say 'have texted your OH is she ok? Hope nothing is wrong. Bye for now'
We both have mobiles and landlines, free minutes and she was here looking after her grand kids for a couple of hours when I was in hospital a few days ago and saw how down I was on return home, still left after I got in though even though DH had said he'd be late home. Am I just overly sensitive, Aibu and expecting too much? I'd just have liked to have been thought enough of to have been called. She doesn't work, isn't extremely busy, knows I have young children and am heavily pregnant but has actually told me her DH has several apps this week for his back (when she knew I'd be in and out of hospital) and am guessing she would rather keep it to texts so I dont discuss my own predicament nor her explain hers iykwim.

We don't hv the best of relationships, it wd just have been nice to have received a call that's all. I just can't be bothered with texts when there's no need.

Sorry for essay as u can tell but down and need to have this baby now! Aibu or simply depressed and disappointed.

Look, neither of you are too busy to pick up the phone are you?

Why didn't you reply to her text or phone her when she asked how you were?

It all sounds a bit childish really.

Hope you feel better soon

I think you are feeling over sensitive - she texted and when she didn't get a reply she texted your dh to check you were ok. Perhaps she was texting rather than phoning in case you were sleeping as you've been unwell?

Hope you feel better soon.

I was thinking that she was leaving it to you as you are the one who has been ill/has young children & you can pick a convenient time for you.

Thank you, it's what I needed to know. I spend a lot of time (even when I'm well) replying to texts, I do call, phone is either on silent, in pocket, was in shop etc... Get fed up of texts. I just wanted to hear a voice I guess.

I always say, not much rest here have very small kids, when I get a nap I switch phone off. She knows this.

I know how you feel notanother, i feel exactly the same as you at the moment.
Let down and unimportant.

I was in hospital last week for 3 days, had been ill for 3 weeks leading to that and got 1 text of a work coleague asking how i was.

I text my mum in the end telling her why she hadnt seen me for the best part of 3 weeks, she hadnt seemed to notice. She replied that i was supposed to be taking her to her consultant appontment, should she cancel it...not "ahh love, do you need anything?"

I had to stay in hospital alone as we had no one to look after our ds. Thank God my DH is fantastic.

Have you text her to say how down you are feeling? Maybe she will step up if she knows...(i know that she should be more supportive) but just drop her a text....

I know what it's like to have a difficult relationship with your mother - mine is now non existant. My mother did a similar thing when I was having an op and during my recovery didn't contact me at all as well as letting me down last minute when she was suppose to be looking after my daughter for a few days after the op. Unless people are in the same situation they won't understand where you are coming from and it's probably not the first time she's made you feel as if she isn't as bothered as she should be. You are being sensitive but with your past history (which I don't know) maybe you have a valid reason be. Hope you feel better soon x

You are probably being over sensitive. If she is having to accompany her husband to medical appointments a lot at the moment, she is probably very stressed herself.

Tightwad I appreciate your reply. Exactly how I feel!! I hope you're feeling ok now, it's such a downer being unwell and feeling like you're the last person anyone cares about. My DH has been the same, been taking time off to sit with the kids while I'm up at the hospital there was no 'we will help/take kids/pop up so that DH could be with me or even just work. Just a text to say 'hope you're ok' -- my dad who was also supposed to be back up for the birth decided he needed to fly back to his bachelor pad, she won't come because she doesn't want to sleep out of her house 'but will visit loads' and I'm just feeling disappointed at lack of 'I am your only daughter ffs please help out' regardless of any probs had in past. Sorry for ramble are u back a work now?

Degroote -- that happened here too but her phone was conveniently lost or stolen when I had my surgery last year! Her DH happened to be very I'll around the same time too. How did she become non existent if u don mind me asking? I tried that.

YABU ( in the nicest possible way, you did ask!)

Some people don't call when they know the person is having a tough time. A text lets someone know you are thinking of them without being intrusive, puts the decision of when to have a proper conversation into their hands. She probably doesn't want to catch you at a bad time.

Feel better soon.

Outraged -- I think they generally have an appointment daily. It makes it easier not to visit or have to be responsible. Never heard of the NHS offering almost daily apps for back pain and what not. Always shopping trips involved funnily enough.

Thanks knowitall -- I did ask :) I'm volatile at moment so need a balanced opinion. I'm getting both here, that's what I'd hoped for.

I have got another week off work as unfortunately had my 7th miscarriage

But bitterly disapointed to get a singular text of someone from work (lovely lovely work pal) and nothing from any one in my family.

Its been 3 days since that text from my mum now, nothing from my sisters.

Ive text my sister to appologise for not getting her son a birthday pressy (he is 10 today and i adore him, he is scrumptios and wouldnt miss his special day for the world, so gutted) and she just text back "its ok, dont worry".

I do get where you are coming from hun, heres a love, if i lived near you, id fetch cake and coffee round and do your ironing x

Tightwad -- I'm sorry to hear that, hv sent u a MSG x

Just after another big argument and a load of stress and bile towards me by her and my stepfather I cut them off. It was best for me in the long run as all I got from the relationship was stress. I told her to communicate, in regards to seeing her grand child (who she didn't bother to see for a whole year last year), with my daughters father (my ex). Life is much better for me without them. As I said before a lot of people on here who have good relationships with their parents don't understand the past hurt etc that can fuel a situation that may seem to others as petty or small. If you are involved in this kind of situation it can be just one in a long line of situations where they've hurt you or let you down x

Thanks for the lovely message, i feel more comforted by a stranger on the internet taking time out to be kind, than i do by my own folks.

Theres something not right about that really.

Hope you get some rest and support, thankful for my lovely Dh as i dont know what i would do if i were on my own completely.

Usually a very independant person, but in times of need, every one needs a hug and some one to ask how you are feeling.

Yabu - sounds like the relationship isn't easy so he may have been apprehensive re calling. Are you not at all appreciative she did ask?

Well she looked after your kids
In hospital so shouldn't
You be the one to all to thank her when you are up to it?

Why not
Text her back and say 'I'm ok if you want to call me?'

You're over thinking it