Dance show/ 2 year old dd/ do I say something or not?

[mrsmusic]

My 2.8 year old dd goes to a 'mini-movers' dance class each week and this weekend they're part of the dance school's annual show doing one dance - nothing too serious, just fun, obviously! Last week there was a rehearsal at the little theatre where they're doing the performance and as always, we were asked to drop her off and leave and pick her up in an hour (usually it's 45 mins). There was the usual lady who takes their class with them, plus their usual two helpers and another couple of mums. Off they went backstage to see where their dressing room would be etc.

I went back to pick her up and found my way to the dressing room where the children in her group all were (they'd done their run through etc) and couldn't see my dd anywhere. All the adults there looked at me blankly; one of the usual chaperones told me she's probably in the toilet round the corner so took me there; a little boy tagged along with her as he needed the toilet so she stopped to take him to the loo - I'm then starting to get a little frantic as she could've been anywhere and no-one appeared to have any idea she wasn't even there. So proceeded to search in some rooms near the toilets, other changing rooms; I went back to the room where all the others were and two little boys her age told me she'd gone out of the door and pointed which way.

I found her playing at the bottom of a stairwell about to get onto a lift (having a great time in her eyes!).

I left straight away with her, pretty fuming (and bloody relieved I'd found her). No-one got in touch to ask whether I'd found her ok (I know I should've gone back and said); a register of who's there is always, and was that day, always taken.

I feel as though I shouldn't have left her - but she's been going for quite a few months and there's been no problems leaving her when it's the usual class - and we were told that that's what happens that we're expected to leave them at this rehearsal and come back for them, they're being looked after etc.

I was going to ring the lady who's in charge of the school just to make her aware of what had happened (and let her know I'll be on door duty of their dressing room at the show even though we've been asked not to be back stage, just in case of any escapees!). Or am I overreacting?

Actually, the children in entertainment" legislation doesn't apply for very short runs of a show, or schools or amateur dance/performing schools. It applies to professional shows, where children are performing for several weeks, and late at night. You don't have to be a registered matron/chaperon for dance schools.

Purple, ah I see. Yes, 1:4 sounds sensible with that age group. We have about that, jusr depends how many children we happen to have that year.

Dear Mrs Music
You wont be allowed to be back stage or even on door duty unless you are licensed by your local council as an authorised chaperone/matron. So even if you wanted to be back stage you won't be allowed. A person will come out from the council to meet you and you have to provide certain documents before you can be licensed (Can take several weeks)

However I am shocked that your daughter was allowed to wander on her own. We have just done a show with children - each night we had 18 children and had 6 chaperones so 1 chaperone to 3 children. Our age group was 8-16. This was over what the council told us but we take our children's safety very seriously.
We had Mixed boys and girls on each team. Boys and girls had seperate dressing rooms and seperate toilets from the adult cast. Children were signed in and out of the theatre and they were escorted everywhere by a chaperone. They were not allowed to wander around - its a theatre so lots of equipment that is easily broken - and it's potentially dangerous especially during scene changes

Parents had to drop off and pick up at the stage door - they were not allowed backstage at any time

I would definitely be having a word with the head of the dance school. Your chaperones/matrons were not doing their job properly and need to be spoken to

this s outrageous. I was recently involved in my dd's show as a backstage helper. Everyone was allocated a room and the children had to be checked in and out. If they needed the loo, they had to be chaperoned and checked in and out.
Frankly everywhere is dangerous to a 2 year old on their own, but theatres, particularly back stage are very dangerous, disorientating places to be.

How dare they tree your dd with such disregard. I would look for a new school, but don't leave this one quietly...what if the next child is injured or lost....anything could have happened.

Thank goodness you found her

I don't know about legislation or best practice or regulatory guidelines, but I found two parts of your post worrying.

Firstly the lackadaisical attire. Now, even in an immaculately run setting, sod's law means children can sometimes elude supervision. But as soon as it is noticed (or drawn to attention of staff), they should be contrite, concerned and make every effort to find the child (eg by holding other children in one location with fewer staff, so there are more people available to search). This does not seem to have even been attempted, and the staff did not seem to know how far a child could wander or what hazards they might encounter when wandering.

Secondly, you said you "found your way to the dressing room": does that mean no-one checked who you were on your way in?

The dance school needs to be seriously reviewing its procedures and if it doesn't, it's not fit to take children that age into a theatre. I'm staggered that they haven't been in touch with you and I'd be very, very reluctant to trust them again in your position .

For comparison, when my younger daughter was 3, she managed to slip out of nursery without the staff seeing her. It was pick-up time and she followed another child out. She was only outside for about 2 minutes and no harm was done. But the point is, as soon as I said "Where's DD?" all the staff looked shocked and sprang into life. No blank looks or vague reassurances. And the Head gave me a ring later in the day, apologising profusely, making sure DD was OK and letting me know exactly what she was going to do to make sure it never happened again.

The school obviously isn't doing this properly. I'm surprised you managed to get backstage. All chaperones at our school are licensed through the local authority and only those licensed can go into the changing rooms.