To consider "outing" ds

[DrWispalove]

Ds(6) has started lying everyday. It's fairly harmless stuff but pretty high volume. Often it's "I got a well-done sticker at school" type things. I have been responding with a "oh darling, I will thank your teacher tomorrow" at which point he backtracks. If this strategy fails should I follow through or would that really be unreasonably mean?

Am I just being OTT? I know all kids experiment with lies but it's got to a point where we have run out of ideas. He knows it's wrong and why. We did the whole book about it thing, consequences etc.

Ideas?

How about sitting him down and talking to him about it? Explain that when he does get a sticker you won't believe him. Perhaps read the story of the boy who cried wolf together?

Even ask him why he is doing it?

I would be more concerned as to why he feels the need to boost himself up with fibs.

From what you have said it doesn't sound like huge damning lies, sounds like harmless stuff. I think you are being OTT.

I'mn going to follow this thread as DS has started doing similar.

Problem is that he is 13 - although emotionally much younger as he has ASD

My dd tells a lot of that sort of lie - also 6. She knows and understands the story of the boy who cried wolf, and says she tries not to tell lies but they just come out'! Think its because she can't physically handle not talking all of the time, so if she has nothing to say she makes something up!

No help, just in the same boat. I tell her straight when I know she is lying now, and that people won't like it if they realise she is lying to them (she is a ridiculously sociable child and needs hundreds of friends to be happy, and so I thought this might be something that would put a check on it). She also hates to say she doesn't know something and will make something up instead of admit it, even when its something nobody would mind at all that she doesn't know - no idea why as her brother is the opposite and says he doesn't know things when he does...

Am hoping its all a phase...

It IS a phase. 8yo ds had a friend round for tea the other week, the friend told us how his dad lets him sit on knee riding his tractor around the fields, how he has hamsters because his mum breeds them etc etc. I didn't believe him as he couldn't remember the name of his hamsters and didn't know how to handle ours. I mentioned it to his mum and she said he's always telling fibs. I kinda knew about it because many of ds' friends do/did the same thing.

It may be more prevalent with boys but I also recall dd aged around 6 telling me (we were living in France at the time) that a new girl had started school, that she was English, couldn't speak French and was living with her grandma because her parents were dead. I actually went to the head to ask if I could do anything for this girl and was met with a blank stare.

It's just them figuring out reality from fantasy and sounding out their wishes. dd wished that she did have a little friend who only spoke English at the time, ds' friend wishes he had ridden on a tractor and had lots of hamsters and your little lad probably wishes he had been given a sticker at school.

The way I dealt with it was to praise the real things that they did, even if they did them all the time. Just things like playing nicely would get a positive comment from me, eating all their tea, sharing toys etc. That seemed to work but I do think it's a phase that they have to kinda go through iyswim?

As therhuburb says, praise for the real things. DS doesn't do this much, he is more likely to use his imagination in complex games. However, when he does and I know straight off that it's a lie I just pay it as little attention as possible. "Um, that's nice dear." While looking off into space. The most likely lie something like saying he's washed his hands when he clearly hasn't. I just tell him he's fibbing and then I chase him back to the sink in a joking fashion.

Mind you, I though he was fibbing about his classmate (reception) who has two bags of crisps and a bag of Haribo in his lunchbox everyday. But he's not.