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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go back to giving DD a dummy?

16 replies

TiredofYorks · 23/04/2012 23:58

Dd is 19 months old and has had a dummy since very early on. We stopped it during the day a about 2 months ago as she was quite happy without it and still is.

About 3 weeks ago she'd been very tired 2 evenings on on the bounce and OH put her to bed without it without thinking. For both of these nights she was fine but since then she hasn't settled at all at bed time. It takes about an hour of keep going in to put her back down before she finally drops off to sleep.

I keep wanting to try her with a dummy again just to see if that is what the problem is but have resisted so far. Before this period she went to bed with no problem at all and would sing to herself and then go to sleep perfectly calmly.

Should I try the dummy again?

I should mention that she's also been in a bed rather than a cot for the last week but that hasn't helped at all.

Also although I remember DS going thorough a similar phase we didn't take his dummy off him on a night until much later.

I have also posted this in behaviour but could really do with some opinions.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 00:04

Everyone parents differently and there are many different opinions about dummies.

For me personally, I didn't sweat the small stuff.

My DS1 never took to a dummy but DS2 and DS3 did.

I stopped giving them in the day when they were probably around 18 months but they kept them at night for as long as they needed to.

I think they went totally without when they were about 2 and a half-ish.

Mabelface · 24/04/2012 00:05

She doesn't need a dummy, just to get used to being in a bed. X

Moominsarescary · 24/04/2012 00:10

Ds3 stopped taken the dummy at 7 months when he was teething.

I miss the dummy, haven't had a good nights sleep since (he's 13 months now)

Maybe give her a bit longer to get used to the bed

Original poster

TiredofYorks · 24/04/2012 00:11

Worra I don't worry that she ever had a dummy I just can't decide if I'd be doing the right thing in back tracking.

She's still such a baby and I'm not sure if we've rushed things a bit?

Madizzy I do sort of agree with you. I just feel as though maybe we've caused this by rushing her, but I could be completely wrong and she may have gone through this regardless.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 00:12

That's what I mean by sweating the small stuff

Perhaps you have rushed it and she still finds comfort in it?

kelly2525 · 24/04/2012 00:21

I would give her it, you can always remove it when she is asleep, but like someone else said, everyone has different opinions.

If it stops her fretting and reduces your stress levels then I can't see the harm in letting her have it to go to sleep, but then I'm a bit of a crap anything for a quiet life type of parent.

Original poster

TiredofYorks · 24/04/2012 00:22

Oh I see, sorry. I might discuss it with OH again tomorrow and see. I'm just worried about doing the wrong thing.

My mum keeps telling me to stop trying get it 100% right all the time.

If I give it to her and it's not the answer though, then what? Aarrgghh

OP posts:

JarethTheGoblinKing · 24/04/2012 00:25

Give her the dummy. If you're wrong and it makes no difference then you can always take it away again, but it may well help her settle

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 00:26

Your Mum's right

There's not always a 'right' or 'wrong' thing because every baby is different in their own way.

If you give it to her and it's not the answer...what have you lost?

I've never seen a 10yr old sucking a dummy so they do all lose them eventually

StateofConfusion · 24/04/2012 00:35

I'd give it to her

My ds handed his over on his own terms when he was around 4 and a half.

Neither had them in the day past 18mnths but night time was upto them, I sucked my thumb for 17yrs so maybe thats why I'm a bit soft on them.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 00:40

My eldest DS wouldn't take a dummy at all but he was far more dependent upon a bottle than the other two.

So really, he gave up the bottle and finally agreed to a 'sippy cup' at around the same age the other two got rid of their dummies.

It's all swings and roundabouts really.

Spermysextowel · 24/04/2012 00:57

Anything that seems like back-tracking is difficult: you scored a result when she managed without & it seems like going backwards if you revert. But how many of us have thought the potty-training was a phenomenal success only to have our little darlings pee all over our friend's best Persian (rug, not cat, tho I don't know anyone who owns one of either but YKWIM).
An hour to settle doesn't seem awfully long; maybe you could stick with it for a while. Or just make her very tired again, tho you'll prob get there before she does!

Moominsarescary · 24/04/2012 01:40

worra that's the problem I'm having now ds3 won't take a dummy, he seems to have substituted it for a bottle and won't go to sleep without one.

Problem is he can wake up 5+ times a night

Original poster

TiredofYorks · 24/04/2012 06:27

Well she woke at 3am and I put her back to bed again but she was having none of it so I gave her a dummy and at that point made absolutely no difference so I took it away again.

In the end we just had to leave her too it and she finally settled about 5 and I think she's probably asleep behind her bedroom door right now :(

So it wasn't the miracle cure I expected, I might try again tonight but I think we have a tired couple of weeks ahead!

OP posts:

spg1983 · 24/04/2012 07:53

Just an idea for anyone trying to stop using a dummy-my mum got us to give them up at Xmas, we wrapped them up and sent them to Santa for his new baby reindeer. Every time we got upset about not having one, mum would remind us how nice we'd been in donating it and we soon stopped cos we didn't want to deprive the poor reindeer! Worked a treat for all 3 of us. Can't remember how old we were but obv old enough to understand the concept of donating it...

Original poster

TiredofYorks · 24/04/2012 21:07

I put DD to bed tonight in a grobag, and with a bed guard (she's not mastered staying in a bed yet) and a dummy and it was just like it was few weeks ago, she was awake when I left her and settled herself to sleep.

I know it could be any number of the above but I'm putting it down to the dummy.

Thanks for all your replies, I don't even feel guilty for back tracking which is a miracle really :-)

OP posts:

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