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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

neighbour problem

63 replies

NettleTea · 22/04/2012 23:19

Afriend of mine came round and after she had left the neighbour called by and asked if she might come back as she had knocked down her father's motorbike as she reversed and damaged it.

I called my friend who said that as she reversed he had got very shouty, and she got scared that he might hit her, so she drove off. I said i would say I had emailed her, to give her a bit of time to calm down, and just in case (which I doubted) that it would blow over.

DP and I took the kids out to the car to go to a party, and neighbours father was there. dp chatted with him. It was a vintage bike - you could see where it had fallen, the handle from the brake had snapped off - there was a mark on the road and on the grass verge where it had landed. The man had calmed down and said if she came and paid for the parts then he would fix it himself, but it was his only transport. There were also about 20 witnesses as it was sunny and lots of people out.

We got to party and my friend came along. DP spoke to her, told him he had seen the damage, it was genuine and that he wasnt angry now, just needed to get bike fixed as he couldnt ride it with no brake. She said fine and went off. At pick up my dd asked her if she sorted the bike out and she told her 'its oK, we dont need to talk about that now'

This morning I was fixing a bike rack to my car and neighbours father came over. my friend hadnt been round. He was now beginning to get a bit cross again, which is fair enough. He had also noticed that the silencer had been damaged - I saw the dent and it lined up perfectly with the kerb, so I have no reason to doubt him. He was worried as he is self employed and is looking like he is going to lose a days work. He has her number plate from a neighbour. He said he if she had come yesterday she could have got away with just the handle for the brake, and he would have let the silencer go, as he hadnt noticed. But now the silencer and handle he could get for 145 inc vat, and gave me the website to check prices. He said he would still do work himself, but he needed to do it today or he was going to miss work. I texted her to tell her this, and that he had her reg number and would report it.

When we came home this evening she had still not been round, and he is bloody fuming now. I can totally understand this and I dont really understand whats going on, and dont want to be caught in the middle. I think my friend is really wrong. If she was worried I dont know why she didnt get her husband to bring the money or the insurance details, or even give them to me so she didnt need to see him. I dont think they are short of money, so thats not it. I think she thinks it will go away. DP told me she said 'oh dear, I hope that doesnt mean I wont be able to come round to Nettle's house anymore'....But this guy SERIOUSLY isnt going to let it go, and the longer it goes on the more likely it IS going to be that someone goes round and there is trouble.

I will probably see her at school tomorrow and I just dont know what to do. he was going to call the police and tell them I know who she is and where she lives.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 23/04/2012 12:31

"I think you should take a step back" but not until after you've updated us...

NettleTea · 23/04/2012 13:03

oh, I am running backwards as quickly as possible
I will update later. hopefully it has all been resolved now.
The bike seems to have disappeared now as well

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 23/04/2012 13:07

Please don;t tell me they've stolen the bike Shock Not that I'm desparate to turn this thread into some long running saga of disasters or anything Wink

ShellyBobbs · 23/04/2012 13:08

Can't wait to see what's happened because I'm a nosey cow.

Floggingmolly · 23/04/2012 14:33

You say "this guy SERIOUSLY isn't going to let it go". Why the hell should he??? Your friend sounds like a right bitch, claiming she was afraid he might hit her so she had no choice but to drive off. I really hope he calls the police, he should have done it at the time.

MadamFolly · 23/04/2012 15:53

Waits for update....

helpwithdla · 23/04/2012 17:09

seems to be that your friend is a bit of twit!

NettleTea · 23/04/2012 18:08

well, I saw her in the pouring rain, and heard that her husband went round and spoke to the wife (who was nice - she is, we have her cat which took to living with us and we often chat about him) and the daughter who was apparantly really aggressive. They tried to call the man but couldnt get through, and wife was hesitant to sort out financial details without him so the husband is coming back this evening.
i suppose one good thing, it looks like the man managed to get a lift to work, which is great.
I am just pleased they are finally doing something as it was very embarrassing indeed.
My friend said she was so stressed that she couldnt eat all day...
she also said that if he hadnt shouted then se would have stopped, but she was frightened that he was going to hit her.

OP posts:
NettleTea · 23/04/2012 18:09

Flogging - I didnt say that he should let it go. I was just emphasising that it was only going to get worse the longer she left it.

OP posts:
ThatGhastlyWoman · 23/04/2012 19:31

I think your friend may need some help with her nerves, frankly. And she could still have called the police herself once she'd got home and told them why she'd left the scene of an accident.

TBH if someone had just backed into my bike, I'd be pretty angry too, especially if I'd been trying to stop them and been ignored... as would most people. Most people aren't actually going to lamp a woman, though, especially in full view of the neighbours. Even if they are one of us 'scary biker types'!

Glad it's been sorted now, though, for your sake and you neighbour's.

scarletforya · 23/04/2012 20:10

Wow, your friend sounds like she is suffering from anxiety and not coping too well OP....

What a mountain out of a molehill Sad

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 23/04/2012 20:27

she also said that if he hadnt shouted then se would have stopped, but she was frightened that he was going to hit her.

Why would a random man hit her for no reason at all? he shouted before she hit the bike, what are you supposed to do if someone is about to hit your vehicle except shout? by the way i know this reads as me asking you this op i'm not i'm just shocked at her logic Confused

NettleTea · 23/04/2012 21:07

I totally agree with all of you.
I would say she is possibly the most nervous person I have ever met. DP said she had a bubble of anxiety around her.
I would have shouted too, had I been neighbour, and scary biker or not, he was actually very reasonable under the circumstances. Even I of little knowledge, know that a Norton Commander is a special sort of bike......
I am just glad that it is all over, and that he appreciated what I did to get her to fix the problem.

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