to have told a friend that another friend is pregnant

[stilldazed]

A friend of mine is pregnant and told me about 3 weeks ago (when she was 3 months gone at the time).

A few days ago I told a mutual friend of ours (via e mail as she lives overseas). I am now feeling a bit guilty, it wasn't really my news to tell. I am not sure it is common knowledge (although other friends knew..and she is now 4 mothjs so figured even more people know) I am worried that maybe the mutual friend has posted congrats on facebook and I'm in bother....have I behaved really badly???

No I don't think you've behaved badly but perhaps were a little bit thoughtless. Might it be worth contacting your pregnant friend and mentioning it? Something along the lines of 'I hope I haven't spoken our of turn but I was just excited about your news and spoke without thinking' I can't see her taking offence at that.

ooops - can you ask the mutual friend to be discreet and let your pg friend tell her the news and to please act surprised?

oh dear. yes, i think it was a bit unreasonable, but you know that anyway.

i would contact the pregnant friend and say "i'm so sorry, i let slip to X and now i feel bad"

personally speaking I wouldn't be cross with you at all, or even that bothered, but some people might and so i think you should tell her

YABU but it's too late now. Perhaps a word to the pregnant friend," I told her and I'm sorry but I'm so excited for you."

thanks for being gently with me.

and now I can't stop thinking about it. I just hope that it will blow over if it has created a problem and not become a big deal.

shit, shit, shit!

Def tell your pregnant friend asap. I'm in the first trimester and I've been really selective about who I've told and when/how. Your friend might like to keep control like this (or she might be happy you've saved her the trouble!)

would you forgive if I'd done it to you?

Did she ask you to keep it quiet, or imply in any other way that it was a secret? If not, then I don't think you've done anything wrong, although I'd probably mention to the pregnant friend that I'd told XXX in an email.

If she's past 3 months and didn't tell you not to tell anyone,I don't think it's unreasonable at all!! It's a bit odd to me that people think so,actually.It's just lovely news about a mutual friend. Totally normal to share maybe i am a big gob

Why do you think it has caused a problem?

Of course I'd forgive you!! She didn't say not to tell anyone did she? At most you have taken away a tiny bit of the fun of her telling a friend, but it's not a huge deal!

she didn't specifically say it was a secret just that not everyone knew and I think I just figured as 3 weeks had past it had probably become common knowledge, but now I'm thnking perhaps not.

sorry this is really boring but I'm obsessing about it! and can't get in touch with the pregnant friend (which is making me really paranoid) so mn is all I have!

I did that accidentally once. My only excuse was that I was drunk at my own wedding and assumed the world knew about my friends good news. Luckily my friend was very forgiving. Maybe mention it to friend and say sorry. Or ask other friend to keep quiet. Probably best to tell friend what you've done actually. I sent a grovelling text in the morning which helped, although I was panicking until I got the text of forgiveness back. ! Maybe a bit of grovelling would help you too.

When you can get hold of her that is.