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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think texting in church is disrespectful?

86 replies

booomchikkawowow · 22/04/2012 21:33

I work with a teenage organisation, we had a church parade today so the woman in question was not there necessarily by choice, but if she had a strong objection to church she could well have escorted the kids inside and excused herself. All through the service she was sighing and moaning about having to sing hymns etc which I thought was her own business, but when she got her blackberry out and started texting I was a little bit gob smacked!

Not only was it rude to the vicar, but also disrespectful to the religious place we were in, and those genuinely worshipping there. I'm not religious at all, but when I mentioned it to some friends after they just shrugged. I obviously am not going to say anything to her, but I was just surprised no one else looked at her oddly! Am I being a bit judgemental or do you think that it was disrespectful?

OP posts:
madmouse · 22/04/2012 22:59

hidden yes I agree with that too - moaning is rude.

joan well I worship with a four year old on/near me so the movement of a phone would not really register Grin

trixymalixy · 22/04/2012 23:00

In church people like to concentrate, so someone texting would be distracting.

LookAtAllTheseFucksIGive · 22/04/2012 23:17

My cousin was in a play (Georges Marvellous Medicine) and some performances were free to some lucky schools. She was put off by several adults in the audience with lit up faces because they were playing on the phone. That is rude.

blackeyedsusan · 22/04/2012 23:24

if she was sitting at the back texting and not disturbing people because she has come to escort someone, it would be ok... except for the fact she was supposed to be setting an example to the young people involved. she should either not volunteer or remember that she is getting paid to do a job... whichever applies.

BackforGood · 22/04/2012 23:39

If I've read right she was there 'escorting' teenagers means she was there in a leadership capacity then I'd say she was massively wrong - teenagers need their adults to guide them in ettiquette and manners and just 'what's right' and 'what's not'. If she was a parent, waiting for her child then less so.
I think she was wrong to be texting whilst any meeting was going on - it's rude, distracting and disrepectful. the fact it was a Church service doesn't make it any more so IMO.

joanofarchitrave · 22/04/2012 23:43

that's dope backforgood [channels will.i.am] [wrong thread]

BackforGood · 22/04/2012 23:51

eh ? Confused

skybluepearl · 22/04/2012 23:56

you have no idea what the text was about. could have been an emergency - someone locked out looking for keys or delayed transport home.

WillowFae · 23/04/2012 00:04

There are lots of phones in use in our services (and some iPads). I have the Bible on my phone so use that, as do a lot of people (including the youth). I have taken notes on my phone and have also logged onto amazon if the speaker has recommended a book that sounds interesting and quickly added it to my wish list. Have been known to tweet as well if something interesting or insightful is said. Quite interesting seeing other tweets come in as well as we use the church name as a hashtag and it can quite often mean that you engage with what is being said in a different way.

Over Easter I was at Spring Harvest (Christian holiday week at Butlins) and it was tweets galore during the sessions (often very inspiring tweets) along with so many taking notes or reading bibles on smartphones or tablets.

Not texting though (tell a lie, I did once when DS was ill at home with DH).

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/04/2012 00:11

"All through the service she was sighing and moaning about having to sing hymns etc"
I find that far more rude and disrespectful (although the texting was too). And she was escorting teenagers? What a wonderful example she makes!

I'd find her behaviour just as reprehensible if she had been in a cinema or theatre audience; regardless of her personal view she should show some consideration for the rest of the congregation/audience, none of whom came to listen to her sighs and moans.

Pancakeflipper · 23/04/2012 00:13

I get the guilts if I sneak a polo mint during the sermon bit.

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 00:21

you have no idea what the text was about. could have been an emergency - someone locked out looking for keys or delayed transport home

Yeah so leave the place of worship for a minute to send it.

Maybe at 43 I'm an old fart but I really don't get the way some people behave in church nowadays.

A place of worship is just that and a certain etiquette should be observed imo.

leftwingharpie · 23/04/2012 07:25

Yes it was completely and utterly immoral. You and the other much better behaved church goers should stone her to death.

bigjoeent · 23/04/2012 07:30

I think its disrespectful too, I think a lot of behaviour with mobiles is disrespectful. I really hate it when I'm talking to someone and they answer their phone. Its fine if they have an important call and apologise or ask if they can take it, but often its some crappy conversation and they keep me waiting while they deign to end the call.

YANBU its really disrespectful to all.

Animation · 23/04/2012 07:57

Think it was worse that she was moaning about singing hymns.

bigjoeent · 23/04/2012 09:32

Animation, you're right, she was setting a really bad example all around. I am not religious, but when I'm in church (weddings, christenings etc) I respect that other people are, and don't do this. I can't understand why people can't think about other peoples feelings for a change.

The general behaviour seems to point the the texting as normal and not an emergency. I'd think that was OK so long as it was very discreet and short, but preferable go out unless that causes more disruption.

ShellyBobbs · 23/04/2012 11:17

It's not about religion, it's pure and simple manners. A very rude woman and being an adult should know better.

Ephiny · 23/04/2012 11:39

I think it is disrespectful, both the texting and the complaining, and yes a very bad example to the teenagers she was with. If you choose to attend a place of worship, surely you should try to behave appropriately and show respect for others and their beliefs, regardless of your personal feelings or beliefs.

CountessChestyMcBoobdeLuscious · 23/04/2012 11:43

Some of the stories my mum comes home with about what non-church goers think its ok to do in church makes texting look fine!

I agree that it is disrespectful but its very easy to get to adulthood without ever having been inside a church these days, and many people genuinely dont know how to behave inside one. Sad but true.

madhairday · 23/04/2012 11:59

Hmmm. I'm a bit with sgb on this one Grin

Texting - meh. Dh was doing a baptism once and some of the guests were chatting loudly among themselves, obviously pissed, even shouting - this was during the sermon, prayers etc, had to be asked to quiet down, which they laughed at. That was disrespectful.

Like willowfae lots of people use iphones etc in church for various reasons. I also use mine to take notes and to tweet. One church I go to sometimes we do actually text, we are encouraged to text in during the sermon our thoughts which appear on the screen behind the person giving the talk Grin Tis great.

I don't really care if someone is texting. If they are terribly bored, then the church should be thinking about why that is and doing something about it.

AhsataN · 23/04/2012 12:58

i think it is disrespectful i go to church and i enjoy going, if you don't want to be there don't go! why is it people find this sort of thing acceptable i would love to know peoples reactions if someone was texting in a mosque or temple or synagogue! but for some reason anything to do with church gets jumped on and ridiculed. pisses me off to be fair! everyone is entitled to an opinion but don't take the piss out of other people.

5Foot5 · 23/04/2012 13:13

Countess "I agree that it is disrespectful but its very easy to get to adulthood without ever having been inside a church these days, and many people genuinely dont know how to behave inside one. Sad but true."

But actually the behaviour described would have been rude in settings other than in a church, for example if she had attended a concert or a meeting. It is discourteous to make it so obvious that you are not interested in the proceedings and are not paying attention.

After all a church service is usually only about 1 hour, 1.5 at most (excluding the very long one Mysteryfairy described). If an adult cannot sit queitly and respectfully for that length of time then they do indeed need to grow up a bit

entropygirl · 23/04/2012 13:48

people can text in comments that appear behind the preacher?

wow! I must never EVER go to a church like that....the possibilities for disrespectful behaviour are enormous.

RevoltingPeasant · 23/04/2012 14:15

I think it really depends how you are using your phone. If you are clearly listening to what is being said and then (say) tweeting in response, fine.

I am not religious and never go to church but I do lecture and hate it when people are on their phones during. It is distracting/ disruptive. I have had carers for a disabled person who is attending (so the carers are at work) sitting playing on their phones in full view of the whole room. In one sense I 'don't care' in that I wouldn't ever say anything, but it does make me fume internally. It sets up a 'this is boring' vibe which I then have to counteract for the rest of the audience.

janelikesjam · 23/04/2012 14:48

DEfinitely disrespectful. Idiot.