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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think texting in church is disrespectful?

86 replies

booomchikkawowow · 22/04/2012 21:33

I work with a teenage organisation, we had a church parade today so the woman in question was not there necessarily by choice, but if she had a strong objection to church she could well have escorted the kids inside and excused herself. All through the service she was sighing and moaning about having to sing hymns etc which I thought was her own business, but when she got her blackberry out and started texting I was a little bit gob smacked!

Not only was it rude to the vicar, but also disrespectful to the religious place we were in, and those genuinely worshipping there. I'm not religious at all, but when I mentioned it to some friends after they just shrugged. I obviously am not going to say anything to her, but I was just surprised no one else looked at her oddly! Am I being a bit judgemental or do you think that it was disrespectful?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2012 22:04

I'm not religious at all by the way

But having been raised as a Catholic, I understand how important religion is to some people.

Basically if an adult can't sit through something like that without fiddling with their phone, they shouldn't be there.

They also probably need to grow up a bit too.

madmouse · 22/04/2012 22:05

Well for me the building is not more holy than any other building and if you're not engaging with what is going on then texting at least is quiet.

And if you are somewhere as SGB says to facilitate someone else's presence than I can't really see the harm. Especially if the preacher is as bad as some I've seen (thankfully my dh, who I hear most weeks!) has a reputation for being engaging and challenging.

trixymalixy · 22/04/2012 22:07

It's disrespectful if anyone is speaking, be that in church or at a conference.

Although saying that, a colleague of mine was pulled up at a professional conference, by the guy sitting next to him, for being disrespectful texting on his phone. He was in actual fact taking notes on the presentation on his iPhone rather than on paper!!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2012 22:08

SGB - I think it is more disrespectful than while waiting during a gym class or whatever as a person is speaking to you, even though you don't want to be there - on a par with texting during a boring meeting at work & not because it's a church/religious.

Hebiegebies · 22/04/2012 22:08

Mightynice, falling asleep is OK unless you are the Vicar ir if you snore!

Torn on this one about texting. My DS has to join me in church sometimes but finds it hard. I let him play icon his DSi for some of the time, but I know that he is still hearing what's going on.

I know others will find this disrespectful but if he's got to be in church because I'm there I don't see that he as to sit still and bored if he doesn't believe (although I hope he makes an informed decision)

As for teenagers texting, yes I do a double take, but then remind myself that I'm glad they are there and welcome them.

An adult should know better, but if I'd want to text at a football match out of boredom, I've got to understand that others will want to text in church

Poodleplops · 22/04/2012 22:11

Do people still go to church? shocked .com!

madmouse · 22/04/2012 22:12

Poodle - what's more shocking, some of us go voluntarily, and even enjoy it!

Poodleplops · 22/04/2012 22:14

Now that is shocking!!!!

Hebiegebies · 22/04/2012 22:14

Poodle, you might need to sit down before reading on.......

Numbers going to chuch in England are going up

World wide 10% of the population were Christians in the years between the word wars.

Now its either 30 or 40%, too late on a Sunday for me too think straight :)

madmouse · 22/04/2012 22:15

Poodleplops · 22/04/2012 22:21

Its a good job im not English then!

mysteryfairy · 22/04/2012 22:22

I've texted in church. My mum had dragged me to an ecumenical service and I didn't bargain for it lasting over 1.5 hrs. Had to surreptitiously send a text from my phone concealed in my handbag as I was due to collect 9 year old DD whilst it was still going on. It was one text but I sent it to so many people to make sure someone would notice and get DD. Fortunately DD was duly collected and my mum didn't realise what I was fiddling with so I hope no one else did either! Perhaps the texting lady had a similar issue and a less capacious handbag!

Original poster

booomchikkawowow · 22/04/2012 22:22

SolidGold I think it is different from texting at an event or class. if your entering a church, the nature of that place means that you are involved in what is happening. You can sit by the side of your DC's gymnastics, whereas if you are in a church you are central within the congregation, you either join in or you don't go? Everyone does the same thing and if you don't want to be part of it then you shouldn't be there I think.

In the booklet we received on entering it say 'all stand' 'all sing' etc, meaning that you should do it or don't be in the church in my eyes!

OP posts:

joanofarchitrave · 22/04/2012 22:26

Wow I'm feeling old.

I can't even imagine circumstances in which I would text in a place of worship. Or in which I would consider it anything other than catastrophically immature and rude to do so.

[shrug]

hiddenhome · 22/04/2012 22:27

I go to northumberland madmouse It's way chilly up there and heating is expensive. I find it sharpens the senses

hiddenhome · 22/04/2012 22:28

We were issued with hot water bottles last time

solidgoldbrass · 22/04/2012 22:30

'Respect' is a matter of not disturbing the other people, that's all. For instance, this woman was rude for complaining loudly about the hymns, but the texting itself wasn't.

ilovesooty · 22/04/2012 22:30

Basically if an adult can't sit through something like that without fiddling with their phone, they shouldn't be there.
They also probably need to grow up a bit too

Agreed.

Sirzy · 22/04/2012 22:34

Respect is also not deliberatly ignoring a speaker of any sort especially not in such an obvious way.

LookAtAllTheseFucksIGive · 22/04/2012 22:36

My friend is a Catechist and she was upset that a friend we both have in common handed out sweets, started dancing, made fun of the priest when he closed his eyes during meditation and sniggered her way through the service with the other mums waiting for their kids to finish the mass. (The other mums were just as bad) If the kids behaved so abominably they'd be strung up.

solidgoldbrass · 22/04/2012 22:50

But if you're only there (wherever it is) because you have to accompany someone else then why shouldn't you occupy yourself, quietly when the event is of no interest to you? If someone is, for instance, the carer of someone else and has to accompany that person to lectures or other events that are of no interest to the carer, what's wrong with the carer quietly reading a book or playing a silent game on a phone?

madmouse · 22/04/2012 22:51

I agree with SGB on this one.

hiddenhome · 22/04/2012 22:53

moaning about the hymns was rude and unnecessary though

joanofarchitrave · 22/04/2012 22:58

Using a phone involves movement and lights. Incredibly offputting for anyone who's trying to concentrate.

asiatic · 22/04/2012 22:58

none of my business, and wouldn't bother me.

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