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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about complaining about the vet who put my cat to sleep?

26 replies

Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 17:48

My lovely cat was put to sleep on Thursday. She was much loved - we'd had her since she was a kitten, and her loss is felt acutely. She was very poorly and it was the right thing to do. We asked the vets for a home visit as the cat absolutely hated being put in the cat box. However.....

  • the vet and the nurse arrived at our house and realised they had forgotten the Pentothol. They had to return to the surgery.
  • the nurse (who was about 12) seemed unable to restrain my (very poorly and very weak) cat whilst the vet was siting the catheter (isn't holding a cat basic vet care????. Cat got upset - which was just awful. Eventually the vet suggested a sedative - though why the heck she couldn't've done that at the beginning goodness only knows). At that point I actually took my cat from the nurse, else cat would have made a run for it. I held her while she was injected then had to hand her back for the catheter to be sited.

It was just awful, a complete mess. Plus these two youngsters oozed fake sympathy. My husband compared it to a French and Saunders sketch.

We wanted a James Herriot look alike to come into our house, tahe control of the situation, do the job with gentleness, sensitivity and professionalism, and leave. What actually happened was quite nightmarish.

Am I BU to not pay and write a strong letter?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/04/2012 17:50

YABU to not pay

YANBU to complain

Sorry about your cat Sad

RevoltingPeasant · 21/04/2012 17:50

Hmm I don't think you can be annoyed at them for being young Hmm but passing over that as I realise you are upset, I think you should write a letter to the surgery and see what comes of it. I frankly wouldn't get into some tussle about payment - seems a bit undignified in the circs.

LindyHemming · 21/04/2012 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/04/2012 17:52

I'm very sorry about your cat. Pay the bill and take some time to think about what you actually want to complain about so that it doesn't become a rant. Rant here. It sounds awful, what you've described, but the event is one of the most awful a pet owner has to go through anyway.

BonkeyMollocks · 21/04/2012 17:53

Sorry to hear about your cat :(

I would be writing a letter of complaint.
Most good vets know that animals are much loved members of families and having a animal put to sleep is upsetting enough without some planks who can't do their jobs properly and efficiently.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/04/2012 17:56

sorry to hear that.
I'd pay, but complain

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 21/04/2012 17:56

Sorry for your loss but honestly I think you are overreacting (understandably with the emotions involved). If the nurse was young and inexperienced she may have lacked confidence with holding a squirmy cat and honestly I think it was better for your cat to be held by someone comforting and familiar while being injected.

eggyblackett · 21/04/2012 17:57

I would pay the bill, but I would complain so that hopefully another pet doesn't need to sufffer undue distress.

Age shouldn't come into it though - the vet that put down our dog a couple of years ago must have been in his 20s and he couldn't have been more kind.

I'm really sorry that you and your cat had such an awful time of what is already a terribly sad experience.

Original poster
Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 18:23

Thanks for your perspectives - it's really useful.

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 21/04/2012 18:46

It's unreasonable of the vet to have brought an inexperienced nurse along to assist in performing such a sensitive thing. You don't want incompetents around under those circumstances. Sorry for your loss.

Rdoo · 21/04/2012 19:09

How do you think the nurse is going to get experience hiddenhome, if she was inexperienced. I'm no vet but I'm sure it's not unusual for an animal to be difficult to hold, especially by a stranger.

It's annoying that they had to return to the surgery but I'm unsure as to what else you are making a complaint about.

I'm sorry about your cat.

vincettenoir · 21/04/2012 19:10

Sorry about your cat but have you never had a bad day at work? Tbh I don't really understand what your grounds for complaint are but from what you've said about your intention not to pay, it seems like yabu.

Original poster
Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 19:15

Nurses can gain experience in holding cats when doing routine procedures in the surgery when their owners aren't around. Not in someone's house doing a euthanasia procedure. And Vincent - yes, I've had bad days and done daft things - and apologised abjectly if they impacted on someone else.

Forgetting the bloody drug was bad enough.

Thanks all - will be complaining but will not refuse to pay the bill. Perhaps when they receive the letter they won't send one.

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 21/04/2012 19:17

Nurses gain experience during normal clinic activities Hmm

AvocadoAndFitch · 21/04/2012 19:22

Sorry for your loss.

Just to answer why they didn't sedate initially. This would reduce blood pressure making it harder to get a vein. There are other reasons but this is the main one.

Also from what you have said the 'nurse' doesn't sound qualified. I would be questioning why they didn't send an QVN or RVN. I think the basis of your complaint should centre around that.

Holding a cat sufficiently in a home environment isn't easy. Also experience/knowledge and a few tricks in assisting the vet to get a vein in a weak and elderly animal is something an QVN or RVN will be able to do.

Original poster
Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 19:23

It was shambolic. The whole thing. I managed to hold her firmly for the vet..... it isn't rocket science!

(I'm afraid the nurse found out the hard way that cats have sharp claws....)

OP posts:
Original poster
Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 19:24

Thanks Avocado. Yes, that does make sense. TBH she was so weak I'm not sure she didn't die in my arms after the sedative was administered.

Sorry..... she's a cat and I'm in tears again!!!!

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 21/04/2012 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AvocadoAndFitch · 21/04/2012 19:30

Don't be sorry, yes she's a cat but also part of your life and the family.

The sedative would have probably made her unaware of anything else happening and taken her perception of pain away. So yes as far as she's concerned she probably "died" in your loving arms. The vet and assistant just did the final bit.

lovebunny · 21/04/2012 19:32

not just 'a cat' but a family member, who had lived with you and been dependent on you since she was tiny. i am sorry the end wasn't peaceful and consoling. set that short period against the happy times, your memories of her and what her lasting impression of you will be.

certainly complain to the vets, if only so that they can improve in future. you might have to pay, though.

hugs.

knittynoodle · 21/04/2012 19:35

I'm so sorry for you Silver, it must have been dreadful. The circumstances require someone who is at least competent and this nurse made this distressing situation worse than it had to be. I would definitely complain but agree with others to wait until you feel more yourself.

Hope you feel a bit better later :)

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 21/04/2012 19:36

Sad experience.

My mate had her cat PTS at home years back. They had put alot of thought into it and decided on a home visit to reduce trauma (as you describe in your thread)

The vet arrived "It's £40 before I step across the door" he said.
Then questioned whether they should because the "cat looked comfy".
The cat had not been 'comfy' for a few days, hence their decision.

Write a letter OP. But I'm sure you'd still have to pay. As far as they are concerned they did the job they were sent for.

AlanMoore · 21/04/2012 19:40

So sorry for your loss. I agree that you should take a bit of time and then write to the surgery - they sound rather unprofessional and as though they made a bad situation worse. I would concentrate on the forgetting the drug and the inability to hold the cat rather than them seeming insincere but do stress how much it upset you at an already horrible time.

When my mum took her favourite cat to be put down the vet was from the Middle East and said a prayer to the cat in Arabic as he was administering the drugs, my mum thought that was lovely and it really helped her that the vet was so kind.

IDontWannaBeAStupidGirl · 21/04/2012 19:42

There is no good way to lose a much loved pet. There just isn't.

I'm so sorry Silvercatowner that your cat has gone.

But are you sure that this isn't partly your grief speaking? Why not sleep on it for a few days before sending any letter.

Original poster
Silvercatowner · 21/04/2012 20:04

Thanks. The vet wouldn't let me hold her as the catheter went in. Something about raising a vein.

Aaaargh.... I need to stop and just mourn for her.

Thanks all.

OP posts: