to not think I'm being unreasonable?

[Listzilla]

DH keeps giving DD (22 months) chocolate behind my back. He keeps a stash of it in the kitchen for her.

He and I are both overweight and diabetic (I'm losing weight, eating more healthily and trying to exercise more; he doesn't think there's anything wrong). So our kids are more likely than most to develop diabetes. As far as I'm concerned, their best defence is to be taught healthy habits from the start.

I've pointed this out to DH more than once; a lot more than once, to be honest I don't mind the occasional treat, but not multiple times a day, and she used to be delighted to have a rice cake as a treat, so why did he have to start this?!

He thinks I'm nagging him and should stop. He says 'but she asks for it!', conveniently forgetting that he's the adult and is, in theory, capable of saying 'no' to her, or distracting her with a book or a toy or some colouring.

So am I a mean, nagging wife? Does allowing him to parent his own way have to extend this far?

Yanbu ESP given what you say about diabetes .

Yanbu. But you don't need us to tell you tell you that.

Yanbu but you need to sit down and discuss with him her diet and how you are both going to approach things.

YANBU to want a common approach. However, healthy habits around food are not created by severely restricting certain foods any more than by handing them out willy-nilly. You and your DH have a particular problem that has developed over a whole lifetime so you are having to make big corrections. Your DD is only likely to develop diabetes in later life is she copies your whole lifestyle... diet, exercise, body-weight... it's not as simplistic as eating too much chocolate.

chuck it in the bin.

Nobody needs chocolate.

A 22 month old knows nothing about chocolate without an adult to feed it to them.

I do sometimes need to be told, ifeelloved. He makes me unsure with all the accusations of nagging.

I know it's not as simple as eating too much chocolate, but the chocolate issue is showing me that he's going to be like this about everything else as well. He's just not really willing to make any effort at all.

If I chuck it in the bin he'll think I'm being OTT and a drama queen, and he'll go out and buy some more.